car farts

[stalkbringsthebread]

The seasonal fight between DP and I has started again this morning. The rage from last years memories has riled me up.

Here is the situation... No matter the weather, if it is freezing cold, snowing, hail, or storm, if DP hears or gets a slight whiff of a fart he will turn the window down in the car the whole way for 30 seconds.

In that 30 seconds I will be on the verge of contracting hyperthermia while I screech at DP to put the bloody window up. DP insists that he would rather be cold than smell fart. I insist that the window stays up the whole of winter.

Here's where I may be unreasonable. I am responsible for 50% of the farts but I want the window up the whole time, no matter who created the fart. My partner is the driver and it's his car.

AIBU?

What is going on with you all that you can’t hold a fart in? Presumably it’s a short journey if it’s daily. just hold it in ffs.

My husbands farts would actually kill us if we couldn’t open a window

I'd rather be cold for 30 seconds than choking on stale fart for an hour. It just get locked in and heated up if you don't open a window.

We have 4 kids. We are definitely a 'windows down post fart' family.

Are you in the UK, OP? The chilled aisle in the supermarket is probably colder than outside the majority of time… just dress appropriately for the cold, no one needs to be stuck in an enclosed space with farts 😷(and if you are dressed appropriately and getting hypothermic after 30 seconds, you might want to talk to your GP)

Quite easily but I wouldn't recommend it. I did it when I first met my wife. Ended up with stomach cramps like you wouldn't believe 😂

Anyways, get one of these on your Xmas list 😂

www.myshreddies.com/shop/p/flatulence-filtering-cushions?gclid=CjwKCAjwsfuYBhAZEiwA5a6CDPcBdwfceGkxTxEdg1yqms-RQ2oWVIq6cWbjTY6hQjKxXDfGlOZ32hoCJkQQAvD_BwE

Yabu

You’re being a bit precious. No-one will be ‘one the edge of hypothermia’ within 30 seconds 🙄 🙄

How frequently are you guys farting that this has become an annual argument??

aiming for classics yeh? this isn’t as funny as you think it is. don’t be disgusting

Less funny, if you are farting a lot and strong smelling- perhaps you need to look at your diet. Something is obviously disagreeing with you.

if someone in our car farts the shout goes up "Fart Protocol" and windows on each side of the care are opened - rolled completely down then back up again. That usually works.

But YABU. Who wants to sit in a car with someone else's fart stink and a whinger about being cold? it's a matter of minutes.

Yes the window needs to be open, fresh air is good even in the cold. And for a good long time, its not good to keep farts in, can cause a lot of pain and discomfort

Well this is a grim monday thread 🤮

of course you open the window. No one wants to smell your ass.

Grim. Surely this is a reverse?!

OP, why did you start this thread on the 12th of September? It's not "freezing" when average daytime temperature at the moment is 20C.

Mine are deadly, sometimes even to myself. And I can't hold them in without causing severe gastric pain. So better out than in, unless I'm in a public space or confined space with anyone other than my family.

Car currently reeks despite opening the windows 😬

Some of us are good with the cold though.

If this weather is seriously too cold for you to open a window for a short while and holding farts in is impossible, maybe see a doctor

No, you can't just hold them in!

I can hold them in to the extent I can let them out quietly, but I can't stop them coming out altogether. It's air, not solid matter, it gets out.

However, if you're in a moving car, you only need the windows open for a few seconds to let out the smell. Not the entire trip.

And it can't be that common an occurrence in a car anyway? If it is, your family members are either eating too many carrots (or other vegetables) or have a medical condition.

Firstly, box of matches in the glove compartment. Fart, strike match, blow it out, smell gone.

Secondly, I think I have just sussed out who those people are that can't hold their farts in on flights. They are in this thread!

I really dislike people that fart on flights.

You don't get to the verge of contracting hypothermia in 30 seconds. If it's really that uncomfortable, wear a coat in the car.

This is disgusting. Why are you farting so much?
Also who are these people who cant hold in farts? Do you also frequently shit your pants whenever you feel like it? That must be awkward

You must be able to hold them in! If you were in a work meeting then you wouldn't be farting away merrily, even if they were silent! Eeeew yes I'd definitely rather be cold than have to smell fart.

I would stop the car and ask you to get out if you violated my airspace like that. And wouldn't give you lifts again.

So id go with a short 30 second blast of air if i was you.

Take the bus instead.