To not remove this picture

[Barnacle1]

Been away for a night this weekend with my husband, our two DC and my DSC. Just got back about an hour ago and posted a picture on FB of all the kids together just saying lovely break with the family.

My husband rarely used FB although he has it (his profile pic is blank and there's nothing on his page, don't think he's been on it for years) but I tagged him in the photo.

His ex, mother of DSC, messaged me and asked me to remove the photo stating they aren't my DC and she doesn't like the thought of their pictures being posted by me (she posts their pictures all the time so nothing about not wanting their photos posted ever).

DH isn't bothered by it so I'm minded to just ignore it. In my mind, he's as much their parent and he doesn't mind.

Presumably you aren't friends with her on fb? She saw it because you tagged DH? Just untag him from the post. Then she won't be able to see it any longer.

If you're friends with her on there, just create a filter that's everyone minus her.

Yes, that really is as petty as fuck.

@Sugarplumfairy65

My DH is definitely not a waste of space, however when I had my DSCs (one full time from age 6, the other part time from 18mo, both from the same DM), his job demanded that he work 50-60hr weeks, and often away for two weeks at a time. Their DM didn't ever adjust stays (for the youngest), or stays with her (for the eldest) to coincide with his work. We wouldn't have imposed on her "time off" and were mainly guided by her for the schedule - in fact, any changes requested by us were denied, despite being expected to accommodate any changes she requested.

I originally worked from home, then was a SAHM, then a part time shift worker, so a great deal of the time, not only did I feed, clothe, clean up after and deal with school/nursery etc for the SDCs (along with eventually parenting my own DCs), I generally did an extremely large amount of the actual parenting of them. Alone. DH was and is a fantastic dad, and was 100% involved and committed, but a lot of the time, to allow all of us to live comfortably, sometimes to feed everyone, he had to work.

I'd have been damned if I had also allowed the SDCs to dictate whether I could put pictures of them (in a family setting), by their DM, if my DH was ok with. The were my family.

You were still not one of the 2 parents though were you? Your situation was completely different to the op's because one of the children lived full time with you as it was in my case with my stepchild.
As a stepmother, I wouldn't deliberately antagonize the mother of the child by posting pictures of her child on social media without the blessing of both parents. There is just no need for it.
Mind you, I dont agree with children being used for likes and reactions on social media anyway. They are entitled to privacy just the same as adults

so when it comes to stepchildren it’s ‘you HAVE to treat them like your own, there’s no difference’, but when you post a family photo including them it’s ‘take it down, you’re not their mother. You are antagonizing their mother. Fuck what their father thinks, she’s the important one and what she says goes’.

Sounds reasonable.

@Sugarplumfairy65

My point was you said:

"Are you serious? You are married to their father. They come to your house for contact with their father. Unless he's a complete waste of oxygen, he should be doing those things for his children on his time with them"

Like the OP is just a person who they come to stay with to facilitate contact with their DF, and if she does those things for them that her DH is a waste of oxygen. Like she's not their family too, just their DF's wife (as opposed to their actual step mum). You've no idea how much she does for them or why. And if her relationship with them is good, then they are her family, and if her DH is ok with it, then she has absolutely every right to post photos of them on her SM, and most certainly does not need to seek any permission or approval from their other parent. As I wouldn't have if I had wanted to put pictures of my DSCs on SM when they were young.

A court could tell you differently as with my daughter.
The mother requested that the father and my daughter, the step mother did not put pictures of the child on social media. This was granted by the judge who said that unless both parents were in agreement, it didnt happen

Would be super interested To know what country that happened in, because as ex police in the UK, the only time I've ever known of that to happen has been in cases where child protection, fostering, adoption or domestic abuse has been an issue.

I'm sure if any of those things were involved the OP would have mentioned them. I'm also equally confident that if none of those things were involved then that absolutely wouldn't happen.

It's not antagonistic to treat DSC as part of the family. Grow up.

It was in the UK, 2 years ago. No child protection or any other issues. Just the mother's preference.
My daughter act6works in child protection

You wouldn't actually do that though, would you?

I 100% would.

I'm definitely not cut out to be a step parent though so it would be very unlikely I would be in that position thankfully.

I think you should remove them, I have a friend who split with her partner and although she posts photo's of her children, she has her settings so that not her full friends list can see them. So only, her, ex partner and their respective families can see them.

Now her ex partner is with someone else and as my friend has a good relationship with her ex she has mentioned to his partner that although she posts pictures of her kids it does have a limited audience and asked his new partner to not post pictures of her kids, which to me is reasonable.

This is on Newsweek now www.newsweek.com/woman-telling-kids-stepmom-remove-family-picture-splits-views-1742057?amp=1

I really thought we would all have outgrown social media by now.

This all sounds very childish.

Social media will never go away at this point

Everyone saying remove it will be reading reddit the day the DSC makes a post that my stepmom excluded me from her life. "We did all these fun things but would only post photos of her with her kids"

And they will be calling stepmom TA then.

Block mom from seeing certain post that is all. If DSC is old enough have dad explain to him that it's just something his mom doesn't want her to do and it's not personal against him. But something other than her excluding him like he wasn't on these trips and only her kids were getting privileges.

People just need to grow up when it's over and the other person moves on as long as the person treating you kid right and it abusing them. Let dad handle that.

Isn't*** abusing him