To not remove this picture

[Barnacle1]

Been away for a night this weekend with my husband, our two DC and my DSC. Just got back about an hour ago and posted a picture on FB of all the kids together just saying lovely break with the family.

My husband rarely used FB although he has it (his profile pic is blank and there's nothing on his page, don't think he's been on it for years) but I tagged him in the photo.

His ex, mother of DSC, messaged me and asked me to remove the photo stating they aren't my DC and she doesn't like the thought of their pictures being posted by me (she posts their pictures all the time so nothing about not wanting their photos posted ever).

DH isn't bothered by it so I'm minded to just ignore it. In my mind, he's as much their parent and he doesn't mind.

Ok so observations of this post is basically YABU!

My opinion - your husband has a say in this as their father. If he says it's ok then it's ok. It's tough poop what she thinks. I guarantee she's insecure about you all appearing as a happy family that she's bothered about.

I'd block her and carry on posting, or get your DH to repost the picture and tag you in it if you want to avoid confrontation, although I don't see why you should have to remove the picture.

I do forget it's mumsnet I'm on; the place where fathers have NO rights/opinions!

And FWIW, my kids have a stepmum and I couldn't care less if their stepmum puts pics on social media!

If he's happy and she doesn't have a principled "no SM photos" objection (which she CLEARLY doesn't), leave it up.

How do you know she posts their pictures all the time if you're not friends and weren't aware he had her as a friend?

I think you should delete the photos or just un-tag him and tell her you have if she doesn't still have a relationship with his relatives.

No, don't take it down. Ignore and don't pander to the bullshit. And block her while you're at it.

But he doesn't "want" the photo there, he just doesn't care. She does care (for whatever reason).

Leave it up. You sound nice for including DSC on your family trips.

She should be happy for her DC rather than jealous.

How important is it to you to win this? Really? Honestly just shrug and take it down.

Leave the picture up but blank out her child's photo with a clown face or something. She cant tell you to remove your own children

I'd keep the photo up

The children's father has just as much of a right to decide on this matter

Make sure he tells her it's staying up though not you

And her husbands their dad

Who has just as much of a say over this as their mother

Delete it. I wouldn't like this - it's irrational but I wouldn't. But then I don't post my whole life online, just the occasional photo with my DS

She is BU

But you SO tagged your DH on purpose so she'd see the pics.

funny because I make these sorts of decisions jointly with my children dad.

I wouldn't leave a picture of a child up without both parents being happy for it to stay.

Why create a problem where there doesn't need to be one?

@KiraKiraHikaru

And what if you disagree?

Choose your battles. I don't have the energy to expend on this sort of trivial issue and wouldn't personally opt for this as my hill to die on.

Remove the picture, and ensure she has no further access to your social media accounts.

Then it doesn’t happen.

Totally agree. You are damned either way really. If you act in a parenting way your are reprimanded and if you don’t you are being unkind to dsc. Ignore her and make sure she is blocked in future. You don’t need the fight so block her, she is being ridiculous.

Yeah that's not how most adults compromise

These children have 2 parents

Their father can decide what he is happy with whilst they're with him

Especially as it's not a case of the mum being uncomfortable with pictures online in general, which I'd understand a lot more than just being a dick

She's clearly being petty, but this is not a hill I'd want to die on so I would apologise and take it down.

If you really want photos posted for whatever reason, then in the future your husband should post photos and tag you in them if you want your friends to see them.

If you didn't realise his ex could see it who else can see it that you don't know? I would take it down in this instance or at least remove the tag that means people who are not on your friends list can see it.

You need to change your settings to "friends only" not "friends of friends" and he needs to unfriend her

It doesn’t matter why she’s uncomfortable, she is so they should come down. The mum doesn’t know who the op has on her friends list, presumably she knows who is on her own friends list. Plus, OP didn’t even know that the mum could see the photo so who else can see it that she doesn’t know of?

It’s not a fight worth having.

If you aren't friends with her on Facebook change the viability of your posts to friends only.

Just block her and set your settings to your friend's only. That way she and her friends contact be able to see anything. I'd leave it up. If DH is OK with it then just leave it. Why should you be running around trying to please her. It's your FB.