to expect people to get their children to vacate seats.

[noonar]

ok, am really not sure what the consensus will be here, so here goes...

dd goes to swimming lessons. there are about 35 children doing classes of different levels. the spectators' are is very hot and cramped. there is v little room for an adult to sit on the floor, and only about 25 seats.

last week, for some reason, there was a large number of siblings watching the lessons with their parents. many of these were occupying a seat. one mum had 2 sons with her. they took up 3 seat. also, a dad let his 2yo have a seat to herself.

meanwhile, i was struggling to keep tabs on my 3yo, while standing, as she edged close to the safety rail between us and poolside.

now, i know children are people too and should be treated with respect but do you think it was fair to allow children to occupy so many seats , in the circs?

Oh lol Dullwitch - that makes me laugh too. So does when the Dad sits in the front and the mother is squeezed in the back with toddlers, because otherwise they 'scream'.

I always got the spot in the middle of the back seat with the dodgy lap belt cos I was the youngest {aigh}. Still do on occasion...

[sigh]

LOL @ Effie

Didn't have seat belts in the back when I were a lass.... or in the front come to that . Sometimes children ride in the front to prevent car sickness though.

They say they have car sickness...

but really they are involved in the mutha of all power struggles and they have won.

Would give up my seat on the bus, and ask my daughter to give up hers for an elderly or infirm person. Not for a fir adult, and I wouldn't expect, on a crowded bus, a child to give up their seat for me.

In days of old I used to sit my dd on my lap if the bus was crowded, but not any more as she is huge!

This is on buses and trains, though. Somewhere like a swimming pool spectator area I would expect the seats to be taken on a first come first served basis.

I am teaching my children to stand up when there are not enough seats; the eldest at 9 can do this on a bus or train as well!

If a child is small enough to sit on a lap then I think they probably should but old enough to sit in a chair then sorry but I think thats their seat. Dont think that children should stand for adults if they are capable of sitting alone in a sit. Why should they? Why do they have less right to a seat? Plus they are smaller and get tired more easily. However I personally would have given up my own seat though for someone with a small child such as the OP.

i've never understood why kids should give their seats up for able-bodied (non-pregnant)adults. I also don't subscribe to this victorian idea that the older you are the more respect and tolerance you deserve. illogical, backwards crap.

it is possible to raise our children as considerate citizens without resorting to the disciplinarian methods of our parents and instilling them with the idea that they are somehow inferior until they hit a certain age - what is that age? When does a child become an adult worthy of respect? 18, 20, 30, 40, when they've had kids of their own? When they've got a job and a mortgage? When FFS. Let the arbitrary answers roll in.

completely agree with hatwoman

YA definitely NBU in my opinion. It's basic good manners which is in all our best interests to teach our children. I've always asked mine to move, and nowadays they offer without me prompting. And it maybe explains quite a lot about our society these days that a surprising number of people on here seem to think it's perfectly OK for their kids to stay put. I also don't accept that children get more tired because they're smaller. Doesn't square with the energetic behaviour I've witnessed after school at swimming pools over the years. They seem to have a darn sight more energy than us parents.

I think children should be raised as considerate citizens to all as you say dinahmoemum & that should span all generations, politeness & good manners should be afforded to all BUT I do believe that teaching children to be respectful of adults is important.

As I say, I know I am old fashioned but when I was a child, a teacher, policeman or the elderly neighbour would never be argued with or treated with anything other then politeness & I feel that an element of that respect has been lost.
I don't see that as a positive step forward

just coming back to say I was always horribly car-sick and I still got the back seat . All my family were not only older thanme but taller, so I lost out from the start. In fact, it feels quite strange when I do sit in the front of a car - there's an awful lot of road out there...

This doesn't contribute much to the actual discussion, but just wanted to add an interesting story. When I was heavily pregnant, I was on a crowded train and I had a seat. Of the many people having to stand in the aisle was a young woman on crutches. When it became clear that nobody was going to offer her a seat, I got up, saying in a very loud voice, "It's amazing with all the gentlemen in this carriage that only the pregnant woman gets up to give you a seat". The woman sitting next to me instantly with some embarrassment got up so I could sit down again, muttering that she hadn't seen I was pregnant. But all the men nearby just stared stonily into their newspapers / laptops / blackberries.

dinahmoemum - I am not sure I would consider you a 'considerate citizen' if you did not make your children move from the seat.

VanillaPumpkin - I am not sure I would consider you a 'considerate citizen' if you expected my small children to move from their seats to accomodate a healthy grown adult.

I completely agree with dinahmoemum.

No, from your previous post, probably not. C'est la vie.

I always ask my children to stand for an adult. I thank them for doing so.

Not quite the same situation if i have paid for a long distance train journey with them, but for shorter term things I ask them to stand, or sit on my lap.

Basic good manners, we are 'sharing' the seats. My children can still sit on my lap.

I'm with dinahmoemum. I find some of the reasons given here for insisting that children give up their seats totally illogical.

1. 'Children must respect adults' - why? There are plenty of adults who are untrustworthy, feckless, unkind, iresponsible. I can see how automatic respect for one's elders made some sort of sense when we all lived in small communities, but I don't think it makes any sense in modern urban environments. I teach my kids to trust and respect people in general, I hope, but not specifically adults. I think it's far more important to give them an idea of what sorts of qualities are worthy of respect, and how to identify people who display them.

2. 'Making children give up their seats teaches empathy and respect.' Ho, it does does it? Why don't you (the adult) show some of this much-vaunted empathy and respect and give up your own seat? Surely it is best to lead by example, model the behaviour you want your children to display? If you insist that your child stands while you remain sitting, all you're teaching is selfishness and 'might is right'.

3. 'Children are more capable of standing' - that's just bollocks. Assuming that both the adult and the child in this scenario are able-bodied, the adult will be stronger and can withstand standing better than a child.

Of course I'd do what was necessary to give a seat to someone who needed it more than I did; personally I'd rather stand and let my child sit than have a wriggly five-year-old on my lap. However, and especially given some of the self-righteousness displayed on this thread, I won't be asking my children to give up their seats to any smug-looking able-bodied adults in the near future.

I think that some of us probably do model good behaviour by stand for others to use the seats. I know that I do and I'm sure that I'm not alone.

for me it is the simple fact that I can share a seat with my child, and let someone else have a seat. It is no biggie AFAICS

I don't know why this winds me up so much... I think it's because good manners are very important to me, and I'm rather shocked (and irritated) to think that people will have considered me ill-mannered for not doing this.

Yes, I would, and do, stand if I think it is necessary, just as I hold open doors and let people go ahead of me in checkout queues if they only have a couple of things and I have a full basket...

Lol, I don't know why it got me so wound up either. I even did an emoticon .
I do think it is oddly important though (in case you hadn't realised).