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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask my bridesmaids to contribute towards there make up

140 replies

helloits · 10/09/2022 12:53

I am getting married soon and would like the opinions on whether it's reasonable for me to ask my 4 bridesmaids to pay £20 towards having their make up done on my wedding day? Overall it's £60 each so I would pay the rest and be saving £80 in total. I am going to pay for their hair as well.
The reason I ask is I have been bridesmaid for 3 of them (the most recent one being a few months ago) and they paid for both hair and makeup and didn't ask for any contribution.
We have a budget for our wedding and I don't want to go over that so trying to save where I can.

OP posts:
Grapewrath · 10/09/2022 12:53

Do they want their make up find or are they happy to do their own?

Original poster
helloits · 10/09/2022 12:53

Just realised I spelt their wrong in the title sorry Blush

OP posts:
Grapewrath · 10/09/2022 12:53

*done!

Cervinia · 10/09/2022 12:54

YABU, just let them do their own make up.

Original poster
helloits · 10/09/2022 12:54

Grapewrath · 10/09/2022 12:53

Do they want their make up find or are they happy to do their own?

I have said I am happy for them to do their own but I think they would rather it done professionally.

OP posts:
Butterflyfluff · 10/09/2022 12:55

Either pay it all or pay nothing - paying 75% is just odd

Smartiepants79 · 10/09/2022 12:55

You can ask, but don’t be grumpy if they say no. Don’t put them under guilty pressure either. Your wedding WILL already be costing them money no matter how generous and sensible you’re being.
Why can’t they do their own makeup?? If you want to save money I just would not bother with that particular little treat.

Lovemylittlebear · 10/09/2022 12:55

We couldn’t afford to pay for makeup etc and had no choice but to ask bridesmaids if they wanted to get make up done could they pay or to do their own. I bought lovely dresses but that was literally all we could manage at the time. I would not have expected anyone to pay for make up though unless it was something they wanted to do. If the expectation was there then I would have paid x

ScreamingInfidelities · 10/09/2022 12:55

YABU. It’s your wedding, you pay.

BlancmanegeBunny · 10/09/2022 12:55

Either pay for all of it or let them do Jotheir own makeup.

abovedecknotbelow · 10/09/2022 12:57

You pay or they do their own.

Fupoffyagrasshole · 10/09/2022 12:58

Just don’t organise make up! I didn’t bother and we all just did our own. I did pay for the hairdresser but one bridesmaid said she’d prefer to do her own.

if someone wants it done professionally then they can just arrange that themselves I guess?

noclothesinbed · 10/09/2022 12:58

That's really tight and I'd be questioning why your getting married if you can't afford it and how will you afford far more important things In life moving forward

Lostoldusername · 10/09/2022 12:58

Have they actually said they want it doing professionally?
If so then just explain, I can't afford to pay for it all but am happy to contribute if you are happy to do the same.
If not, let them do their own make-up.
If it's because you want them to have it done, then you need to be prepared to pay.

ZooMount · 10/09/2022 13:01

I just said to mine that if they wanted it done they needed to pay for it, and if not it was fine to do it themselves. It's not a requirement to have professional make up done to be a bridesmaid. Yes they paid for yours but everyone has a different budget, there's no shame in saying you can't budget for it.

PercyPigInAWig · 10/09/2022 13:01

Either pay for it all, negotiate with the makeup artist or find someone cheaper.
Or as PP say let them do their own. I wouldn't fancy doing my own makeup as a bridesmaid, I don't usually wear foundation so not great at applying it. I don't know how much it matters to you that they have a similar look, what if one goes quite natural and one is full on smoky eyes.

Starseeking · 10/09/2022 13:02

You're the one getting married, you need to pay.

WaitingRoomBoredom · 10/09/2022 13:05

I don't understand, if they are your closest friends, why can't you ask them what would be best?

Mumspair1 · 10/09/2022 13:07

I think if they paid for you, you have to do the same.

Stopthebusplease · 10/09/2022 13:09

I can't believe that bridesmaids having their make up done by a professional has now become a 'thing'. People are always moaning about the rising cost of weddings, it's no wonder if this sort of thing is being encouraged. Let's face it, if your bridesmaids wear make up normally, then they're perfectly capable of doing it themselves, and chances are they'll hate makeup done by someone else anyway, so just say you're not bothering with it, as it's an additional cost that you've decided you don't want to pay out for. Simple!

Devo1818 · 10/09/2022 13:10

For the sake of £80 you need to just pay for it. Cut back elsewhere or find a cheaper artist.

trailrunner85 · 10/09/2022 13:10

As others have said - they do their own if they want to, or you pay. I've been a bridesmaid several times and always done my own makeup, as I did when I got married myself.

But that said, if you're getting yours done professionally and you're getting ready together, I think it's a bit tight just to pay for yourself and not them - especially if they paid for you when it was the other way round.
Bit uncomfortable surely, if the MUA is coming to you and doing your makeup, for you to then ask your bridesmaids to cough up to get theirs done.

rainyskylight · 10/09/2022 13:11

I just don’t understand this at all. A wedding is a long day. If you end up crying a bit, sweating, or want to touch up your lipstick, you can’t use the same products because the make up artist has gone. Such a stupid waste of money.

honeylulu · 10/09/2022 13:12

Your budget is different to theirs and you can say that. Make it clear as soon as possible and give them the options. Pay nothing and do own make up or you can book the make up artist for those who want that and it will cost £x each given that you will be making a contribution to subsidise it slightly.

I have been bridesmaid or best woman three times and have always done Mt own make up, no problems. In fact given the choice I would have preferred that anyway. I've had a couple of professional "makeovers" and I always ended up thinking I like my own make up better!

At one wedding the bride and chief bridesmaid were having their hair done by a hairdresser (bride paid, the CB was a teenager and bride sister). The other two of us were given the option of having the hairdresser put our hair up and pay £15 (this was a couple of decades ago!) But we chose to do each other's. We had a few practices beforehand and it looked really good!

The sooner you can confirm the options the better.

SalmonEile · 10/09/2022 13:13

You could ask them (or maybe one of your close relatives) to pay for yours in lieu of a gift.

if you hadn’t been a bridesmaid and had professional make up paid for all of them I’d say just don’t have it but obviously it’s a standard in your circle