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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask my bridesmaids to contribute towards there make up

140 replies

helloits · 10/09/2022 12:53

I am getting married soon and would like the opinions on whether it's reasonable for me to ask my 4 bridesmaids to pay £20 towards having their make up done on my wedding day? Overall it's £60 each so I would pay the rest and be saving £80 in total. I am going to pay for their hair as well.
The reason I ask is I have been bridesmaid for 3 of them (the most recent one being a few months ago) and they paid for both hair and makeup and didn't ask for any contribution.
We have a budget for our wedding and I don't want to go over that so trying to save where I can.

OP posts:
FlipFlopShopInHawaii · 10/09/2022 13:13

In the grand scheme of things 80 it's not going to make much of a dent in the overall costs. Just pay it. If you ask for a contribution there's no way I could say no, but I'd think it very weird.

scarletisjustred · 10/09/2022 13:13

So they paid for your hair and make-up when you were a bridesmaid but you want to ask for a contribution from them. I think you are being cheap and I'm fairly sure they'd think the same thing.

Greybutterfly · 10/09/2022 13:14

So they all paid for you but you want to take £20 off them? That’s tight. They will always remember how tight you are. If you can’t afford it don’t do it. I’m sure they will also be giving you a present so just take the money out of that.
I don’t understand why people have these big weddings when they can’t afford them.

Peashoots · 10/09/2022 13:14

Stingy. They’ll all talk about you behind your back:

BeanieTeen · 10/09/2022 13:15

YABVU.

Newgirls · 10/09/2022 13:15

just say ‘I don’t have the budget for make up can we do our own’

if anyone really wants it and is feeling rich they might offer to pay but really no need

no one else will notice I promise!

LimeTwists · 10/09/2022 13:16

YABU to ask them to contribute. If you can’t afford a MUA for them then you don’t hire one - you / they do your own makeup. You can’t exceed your wedding budget and expect people to make up the shortfall with their own money. That’s really unfair.

TenoringBehind · 10/09/2022 13:16

very unreasonable not to pay it all yourself

HumptyDumpty2022 · 10/09/2022 13:17

Don’t have so many bridesmaids if you can’t afford them??

mostgirlswantamanwiththeblingbling · 10/09/2022 13:20

Going against the grain I think it’s fine op

But just say to them make up is £40 if they want it done and leave it at that.

I’ve both had my make up paid for and also had to pay myself as a bridesmaid

vain but I wanted to look nice in wedding photos and am crap at doing my make up so was happy to pay 😂

bellsbuss · 10/09/2022 13:25

I paid for hair, dresses, shoes and jewellery , bridesmaid said they were happy to do their own makeup.

Hillary17 · 10/09/2022 13:28

Either you pay for it or they do their own. People are struggling and even £20 is unfair to assume they can afford to pay. They can do their own makeup but if you say you’d prefer it, they’ll feel obligated. Weddings already cost so much - hen party, drinks, hotels, gifts, taxis etc. Just assume they can do they’re own makeup if you don’t want to pu the whole thing.

Original poster
helloits · 10/09/2022 13:29

Thanks everyone, this is a reverse. I just wanted to see if I was the one being unreasonable to feel a bit miffed by this. I'm paying it and gritting my teeth!

OP posts:
Smilingwithfangs · 10/09/2022 13:31

noclothesinbed · 10/09/2022 12:58

That's really tight and I'd be questioning why your getting married if you can't afford it and how will you afford far more important things In life moving forward

This
have a wedding that is within your means.

Mariposista · 10/09/2022 13:35

Let them do their own. They don’t need to look like painted dolls

Hbh17 · 10/09/2022 13:38

Nobody needs a professional make up artist for a wedding - I have never known anybody do this for their wedding. Why would a bride want everyone to look identikit and nothing like their true selves?

charliee112 · 10/09/2022 13:38

I was bridesmaid this year for my brothers wedding. Paid for hair, make up, shoes, part of my dress, over half for the alterations. None of us were happy as we kept being asked to contribute more & more and felt we couldn't say no.

Whynotnowbaby · 10/09/2022 13:40

Just tell your friend you are happy to do your own but can’t afford the expense you hadn’t previously budgeted for. If you are not happy to do your own, then her offer of paying for most of a professional doing it is great. Tbh, it never occurred to me to get a professional make up artist for my wedding, we just all did our own.

MrsPerfect12 · 10/09/2022 13:41

You should pay or not have bridesmaids.

Chikapu · 10/09/2022 13:41

helloits · 10/09/2022 13:29

Thanks everyone, this is a reverse. I just wanted to see if I was the one being unreasonable to feel a bit miffed by this. I'm paying it and gritting my teeth!

Why didn't you just say that in the first place? What was the point of a reverse?

fruitbrewhaha · 10/09/2022 13:41

Uh chuffing reverse.................why do that and not just tell the real story? And why grit your teeth and pay? Just tell the bride you will save her £80 by doing it yourself, then you have both saved.

YouAreNotBatman · 10/09/2022 13:42

Do they all even wear make-up usually?
Do they HAVE to wear make-up?

Lysianthus · 10/09/2022 13:43

helloits · 10/09/2022 13:29

Thanks everyone, this is a reverse. I just wanted to see if I was the one being unreasonable to feel a bit miffed by this. I'm paying it and gritting my teeth!

Why the teeth gritting. Do your own and save the money.

Cookiedough123 · 10/09/2022 13:45

I have been a bridesmaid 3 times. Once it was paid for. The other times the bride paid the deposits if we wanted it doing and asked us to fund the rest. Hair always been included. I think its fair to ask for people to pay for their own make up. Its an added bonus which most people could technically do themselves. Just because you paid when she was your bridesmaid doesn't mean she should have to pay for you. If you don't want to pay then do it yourself. No doubt if she hadn't asked you to be her bridesmaid you probably wouldn't of been happy about that either!

TheChippendenSpook · 10/09/2022 13:46

Hmm reverses are a pain in the arse.