To ask my bridesmaids to contribute towards there make up

[helloits]

I am getting married soon and would like the opinions on whether it's reasonable for me to ask my 4 bridesmaids to pay £20 towards having their make up done on my wedding day? Overall it's £60 each so I would pay the rest and be saving £80 in total. I am going to pay for their hair as well.
The reason I ask is I have been bridesmaid for 3 of them (the most recent one being a few months ago) and they paid for both hair and makeup and didn't ask for any contribution.
We have a budget for our wedding and I don't want to go over that so trying to save where I can.

OP what were you actually hoping to get from this post given that you’ve already decided to pay? Do you always look for strangers to justify your feelings when mildly pissed off?!

Maybe something has happened that means the bride needs to save a little money and this is how she’s chosen to go about it. If you can afford the £20 then why does it matter? If you can’t/don’t want to pay then just be honest and suggest an alternative like doing your own make up, perhaps with a make up lesson before hand.

It doesn’t say much for your friendship that you’d rather turn to mumsnet than have a simple conversation. If I was the bride and I read this I’d be really upset that you felt you couldn’t just talk to me about it.

I was bridesmaid before & had to pay for hair, make up & nails. We were asked quite a while in advance if we wanted this done & all said yes.

I had to ask 3 weeks before the wedding if I was to pay & was told yes. When I asked how much, she said she didn’t know & would have to ask which I thought was ridiculous. We also had no choice of nail colour & it was a horrible. I forked out a fortune between the hen, wedding gift & accommodation & they split up 18 months later.

Whatever you decide, make sure you let the bridesmaids know ASAP.

Irrespective of it being a reverse, the bridesmaids should legitimately feel annoyed if the bride is prioritising hitting her notional budget unless she has truly no money left. Especially if the bridesmaid's had paid for their bridesmaids' make up at their previous weddings. Chiselling £20 at this stage is weird. Was there an expensive hen do and such like the bridesmaids paid? Bride seems to be losing sight of the overall picture. Try to bite your tongue, OP, and enjoy the wedding.

Reverses make me stubby

Also
People who want brides maids NEED TO PAY FOR E V E R Y SINGLE ITEM
Otherwise you are just a insert insult here

🤣
*stabby.

If you want them to have professional make up you have to pay. I got married recently and we all did our own makeup. I’ve never seen professional make up that looks good - either way too much or barely any which makes me wonder why you’d pay for it!

Could you instead pay for their eyes to be done? I always find getting professional eye make up makes a difference, but I am better at doing my own blusher and foundation etc than a makeup artist is.

I do think because they all paid for your make-up when they got married it would be a bit weird of you not to reciprocate. Also would that £80 really make a massive dent in your wedding budget anyway? To me it seems a better budgeting idea to just cut £80 somewhere else and seem generous to your closest friends, who will be putting in a lot of effort to be your bridesmaid, and if they are organising any hens do or showers for you they will probably be spending even more money on you. Asking for a £20 contribution from them just makes you look tight and for not much of an impact.

Different to say, asking them to pay for their own accomodation or something, which is actually a huge financial benefit to you so worth the risk of seeming tight 😂

I completely understand why people want to post a reverse. I feel like you get more honesty, as some people on here just LOVE to pick apart any narrative from the OP.

I also don’t understand how a reverse is ‘manipulative’. If you give an honest answer, it shouldn’t differ no matter who is delivering the question?

I agree with the previous poster who said it’s because people hate to realise they have agreed with someone on the internet. 🤣

YABU, it’s your wedding, you asked them to be bridesmaid. I didn’t ask my bridesmaids to pay for anything and I can’t understand why anyone would think that’s acceptable

I understand why you did a reverse as the answers may have been different.

It's not acceptable to ask your bridesmaids to pay for or contribute to their make up.

If the bride and groom cannot afford it then their expectations need to be lowered.

If bride wants 'perfect looking ' bridesmaids then bride needs to pay.

YABU to ask the opinion of people that you don't trust to give you their opinion - but, you have accepted that, so fair play.

I have been bridesmaid for 3 of them (the most recent one being a few months ago) and they paid for both hair and makeup and didn't ask for any contribution.

Would have answered the question itself - if that is what is done in your "circle" then it seems fair to stick to it whatever anyone else does in theirs.

I mean, I can't understand why people waste their money on having a stranger - who doesn't know you or what you like to look like - put their make up on when every other time they want to look nice they do it themselves. But each to their own. However, if you don't have money in the budget for it, then don't do it.
Your "friend" shouldn't be asking her bridesmaids to pay for part of it.

I paid for mine to have their hair done but not make up. I couldn't justify the cost and I had at least on that has a few skin issues so I knew wouldn't be comfortable with having it done anyway. I had 5 bridesmaids and they helped each other out. 1 was grumpy about it but the others were fine.

To me if you're the one sourcing the hair and makeup then you source someone within your budget to do it or you let the bridesmaids know they are to do their own makeup. I don't think they should be having to pay anything to be your bridesmaid apart from hen do etc. You're the one responsible for your wedding budget so you either need to scale back elsewhere or find a cheaper option imo.

Just let them do their own? Usually it's the brides who want the professional make up done so that everyone looks their best for the photos. In my circle the bride always pays for professional make up, hair etc. for the bridesmaids.

If you can't afford it, just let them do their own makeup. My bridesmaids did their own. To be fair though, I think £20pp is a bargain!