Work full time with teens?

[HappyKoala56]

AIBU to consider a full time job with a teen and pre-teen (13 and 11)? How do other ft working parents manage with kids of these sort of ages? They are ok to stay home on their own for short times and neither are anxious with this, but it would mean 2 hours on their own after school until I get home which feels like a lot. And then what do I do in school holidays? It's a long time to be by themselves, but they don't appreciate all day clubs. I feel stuck in this middle ground of they are too old for childcare but too young for prolonged periods on their own. What does everyone do?
For context I don't HAVE to work ft, hence why I'm not sure if iabu. I have my own business and work part time currently, but I have put all career progression on hold for the past 14 years to be around for the kids and I'm eager to get back on working on myself. Do I leave it another year or 2?
YABU - stay home longer
YANBU - go get that job!

I would wait another 5 years if I could. I think teens need you more than toddlers really

I work from home mainly which definitely helps.
It’s the holidays and needing to take them to clubs etc. Me being out of house 8-6 5 days a week inc holidays wouldn’t have worked for us.

Aren't they too old for holiday clubs anyway? Don't most only accept children up to Y6?

Plenty of parents work full time with teenagers, in fact most parents I know do, I've worked full time since mine were toddlers, I certainly don't plan on going part time again when they turn 13! They will be fine, you would make it work, it depends on why you are going full time as to whether you should now. Remember, just wanting to is a valid enough reason!

Our plan for when ours are this age is for us both to WFH a couple of days a week and have our cleaner come the other day (she has worked for us for a long time and is happy to keep an eye on them).

But we live in London so don't need to do any ferrying to activities, they will be able to transport themselves

Some clubs will take up to 13 eg activity ones or Pgl holiday.
If you can’t take a lot of leave in summer it’s difficult leaving an 11 or 12 yr old 10 hours a day, day in day out. It’s easier when they are younger and can go in childcare.

The majority of the women I know have been FT since their kids were 1 or younger. But if you can keep your PT job for a few more years while they are teens that might be easier?

I don't know anyone who didn't/doesn't work full-time with teenagers.

They're absolutely fine to get themselves off to school and to come home to an empty house, as well as to be home alone during the holidays.

I was getting myself to/from school at 11, and coming in to an empty house for a few hours. Holiday clubs didn't take children over 12, so I was home alone for 8-odd hours a day during the holidays. This was only in 2000-ish, so not a lifetime ago by any means.

my DC are 11 and 15. I'm on a 25hr/wk contract, which I do over 4 days, to allow me more time with them after school. Now that the youngest is at secondary school I am putting feelers out about increasing to 29hrs over 5 days, but I still don't want to go full time as I really value those two afternoons when I can be there when they get in.

I get so more conversation from them if I'm here when they walk through the door. If I get back later, they've had time to decompress and chat to their friends and often no longer have the same need to talk to someone. I appreciate that this is a luxury though.

Even if I’m home I don’t see much of my teen after school; she comes in, has a snack then goes to her room to chat to friends or do homework. We make sure we make time in the evening to spend with her and find out about her day. i was the same as a teen and I liked the independence.
Holidays are trickier but if you can work from home it helps.

I want expecting it but have find teens need you more then toddlers. And I have to be around to make sure they actually are studying etc the stairs are much higher than when they were little

2 hours after school is fine. At that age for summer holidays mine did a mixture of 1 week sports or theatre camps (1 or two each holiday), me having time off, days with grandparents and friends - with maybe the odd half day by themselves thrown in. I'd be less worried about all that than the day to day demands of full time work/teens/home.

I am in a similar position although can wfh in tjje field I am in but if I did a hybrid pattern of work they would be on their until 7/8 as I would be commuting to London. My eldest is 15 though so he would be looking out for my 11 year old, I wouldn't have contemplated it wiith him being 13, seems a bit young. In all honesty I'm even worried about evenings on their own more because I'm in London and not close ish but DH will have to wfh if that happens- do you have their Dad to do fair share?

If you are a lone parent and can afford not to work FT for the time being then do that.
My teens require much more support from me than they did in their primary days. I can afford to not work FT at the moment. I'd like to increase my hours when my eldest finishes his GCSE's next summer.

Depends on the teen.
My teen needs more of my time now than when she was little. I work PT and mostly from home and it's great for us.

I’m surprised that 2 hours after school “feels a lot” to you.
I’d understand if you were saying you wanted to be there if they had any upset at school they wanted to talk about.
But just thinking that 2 hours is a lot? It really isn’t, and I think whilst it seems it to you, that’ll be hard to get past.

I’m like @mountainsunsets - pretty much all other parents I know both work full time. And our children were all so excited when they got their own keys and allowed to quit after school club! Usually Y6/Y7.

I think that’s fine once at secondary school as long as they are happy to be they can be left alone in the house. Both my parents worked full time from around this age and I’ve turned out fine, if anything happens they can just give you a call. Although as some have said wfh would definitely help with the holidays just so they don’t feel like they’re endlessly on their own.

I know people who have a local sixth former to come in and help with homework or prep dinner or just be there in case. Might put your mind at rest?

In what way?

Nobody that I know has the luxury of choice me included. 2 hours really isn't that long
Holidays are covered by using annual leave and them being at home alone.

Working full time with teenagers isn't any easier than working full time when they are smaller. I mistakenly moved my term time hours to full time when my youngest started Y7 and regretted it.

I work FT with 14 and 10 year old.
14 year old is home after school until 5.30. And my 10 year old does still go to after school club.
Holidays I take some annual leave as does their dad. And he WFH as can I if needed.
I like my job and get a lot out of it, and hope to progress in next few years so I need to be FT really.

If you can its nice to be there for them I think.They appreciate it (even though they may not always show it) Obv if you have no choice then fair enough ,I would leave it a little while if you can

I worked ft from when DT’s were six months old. Teens are much easier - they get the Tube to school on their own, do sports or homework clubs after school and get themselves home. Capable of making their own meals. During school holidays younger teens would do specialist holiday clubs - usually sports. All our families lived overseas so they would often spend part of the school holidays visiting grandparents and cousins.

Goodness I have been full time since mine were at pre-school. Mine are now 14 and 10.

The younger one goes to after school clubs but the 14 year old just goes home.

In the holidays mine do a lot of camping with Scouts and then me and DH take a bit of time off and then there is a bit of time with GPs and cousins.

Put yourself first for a change and go get that job - your kids will be fine.