Friend has "copied" my living room ...aibu?

[chinhg]

I know this isn't important in the grand scheme of things but here we go...
My friend decorated 6 months ago and loved her living room.
Three week ago I was getting work done and showed my friend a picture of the living room I loved and the colour paint I was getting and also lamps and flooring.

She said it was lovely and loved it.
Two days ago she sent me a picture -she has just stripped her living room
She's bought the same paint and same lamps.
Saying "that colour I had was just not for me"
Although she loved it a week ago
Aibu to be a bit annoyed ?

I tend not to tell people where I bought stuff, as had something similar before....same paint colour I can't get excited about, but more unique things like lamps is a bit off.

Those are only 2 appliances & a (very commonly chosen) hair style? You do realise that as soon as you buy/choose a hairstyle, it doesn't immediately become trademarked to you, don't you!?

Why does it matter? If anything it’s a compliment.

Whoa, wait a minute. Your parent/s now have two grandchildren with the same name? How confusing

When we had our kitchen moved out of a pokey room, in to a different area, and fitted out, one of my SIL visited, she was very vocal about her dislike of our home improvements:-
She didn't like the worktops
She didn't like the sink
She thinks dishwashers are for the lazy (lollll)
She didn't like the colour of the units or the handles

I cannot remember anything else, but she spent a while itemising why she didn't like it lol - but it didn't bother me, cos I love it.

Anyway, within six months she had moved her kitchen into an extension and guess what - had EXACTLY the same. Same colour units, same worktop, had herself a dishwasher installed.

If it’s a one off then I’d let it go if I’m honest. I’d just assume my friend liked my decorating skills and be flattered. A friend of mine moved house recently and I bought her some of the things I have because I know she liked mine.

I have however fallen out with an old friend in the past for copying every single thing I bought. She would turn up wearing the same clothes, cut her hair the same as mine, would buy the same items and pretend she hated or liked the same things as me. Copying or taking inspiration every so often from a friend is flattering imo unless it becomes an obsession

I know people say copying is flattery but I think it's just weird.

Send her a bill for your interior design advice?

George Forman named 5 of his 12 kids called George... now thats confusing.

Cousin can share a name its not that wierd at all and increadibly commen in many cultures.

I have 2 cousins with the same name and it has litrally never been an issue.

How many people will see both? It really doesn’t matter.

Oh my friend did this with about three rooms, we used to laugh about, she loved our style!

Everyone saying you don’t have copyright or patent on interior design choices & that we all copy from somewhere are missing the point.

Why this feels the way it does is because you showed your friend something that you were claiming as yours (meant in the loosest way of course you don’t own the right to it literally) & she went & took it from you.

Everyone’s had a friend growing up or sibling who used to do this - it’s about territory more than anything. By showing her your choices - you’d claimed that “territory” as yours & she liked the look of it & the kudos it would give her because she clearly lacks style, confidence or taste or originality & decided she would have it for herself.

I think it’s deeper than flattery. I think it’s about deception & competitiveness. She deliberately decorated & furnished it before you had a chance & beat you to it. Then showed you the finished result!

I’d find it highly irritating - it’s a boundary thing & she’s not respected that.

I call these types magpies - they see shiny nice things & want them for themselves & don’t care what it means for them to have them.

Of course we’re all influenced by fashion & each other but the context is all important. OP didn’t invite her friend to get the same or give her approval to go for the same look.

Some people just don’t get these nuances however or seem to understand that an expression of your taste, or identity can be important to people & that by stealing it & claiming it as your own, it feels uncomfortable & weird. They however seem immune to this & act either deliberately ignorant of their actions, claiming it to be theirs from the start, or perversely act slightly triumphant when they show you your design, already fleshed out & in situ in their own home.

Territory, power dynamics, insecurities, envy, belonging, identity, aesthetics, home, fashion, sibling rivalry, friendship, boundaries.

All over sone lamps & a tin of paint! Who knew?!

That’s so weird but I wouldn’t get worked up over it. If anyone thinks you copied her, set them straight but it’s not that serious if they do think you copied her

Christ who could get worked up about this

Why does this upset you? If people compliment / copy my taste I love it what a compliment. I just can't see what the downside of this would be in your scenario.

Half of my uncles and aunts had that on the walls in the 70s. You're just following the current back to the 70s trend then.

This might depend on how outlandish your taste is. I have white walls and wooden floors and I know at least a dozen people with the same combination. It's so ordinary that I don't think that it would even register if a friend painted her walls white...

Feature walls have had their day.
Let her have it. Find something fresher than mocha brown and cream.

Although yeah that's weird behaviour and you shouldn't tell her any of your plans again.
A friend of mine does this (in general, not just to me), she has no taste. Not in a bad taste way more of a no taste, no preference or maybe no confidence to choose anything. She likes the reassurance that someone else likes something.
I don't mind that much but I'd be annoyed if it was something I was excited about that she copied.

😂

Dear god, get a grip!

What an utter load of bollocks!

I posted about this above - but it was actually downstairs; Archenemy Cam Winston lives upstairs!

Oh dear. I have no words, this is unbelievable

Exactly!

It’s not the ‘copying’ that’s the issue, it’s the weirdness that she hasn’t mentioned it being similar to what you showed her. Like she’s pretending she just happened to fancy a change, just seems awkward. If she’d just said ‘I’m redecorating and doing it similar to what you showed me’, that would be fine. Now it’s like this weird thing with neither of you mentioning what you had showed her. It’s a bit funny though, from an outsiders perspective. 😂 She’d be too weird to be my friend though, like what’s going on in her mind to do this and ignore the fact you had showed her pictures. 😐 🤪

Different rooms but same paint colour! Bound to look different. Can’t see why it would matter. At least you know she really likes your choice.