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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend has "copied" my living room ...aibu?

182 replies

chinhg · 09/09/2022 12:17

I know this isn't important in the grand scheme of things but here we go...
My friend decorated 6 months ago and loved her living room.
Three week ago I was getting work done and showed my friend a picture of the living room I loved and the colour paint I was getting and also lamps and flooring.

She said it was lovely and loved it.
Two days ago she sent me a picture -she has just stripped her living room
She's bought the same paint and same lamps.
Saying "that colour I had was just not for me"
Although she loved it a week ago
Aibu to be a bit annoyed ?

OP posts:
ILikeHotWaterBottles · 09/09/2022 13:44

chaplins.co.uk/shop/moooi-horse-floor-lamp.html

Found a better one... Who actually bought that??

Jennybeans401 · 09/09/2022 13:47

I think I'd laugh about it and joke about her having a 'twinny' room. Clearly you have grear taste so be flattered she wants to copy.

Codingand36 · 09/09/2022 13:48

I have a friend who copies everything. Drives me mad.

Some people have the inability to think for themselves. Pity them

MelodyPondsMum · 09/09/2022 13:51

I'm sure it will look different since presumably you have different furniture, curtains, cushions, room layouts. Lots of people have rooms painted the same colour. Room colours seem to go through trends.

moksorineouimoksori · 09/09/2022 13:52

Isn't it more like you both copied the same 3rd room than she copied your room?
Why don't you just make some subtle changes and you'll end up with a room that's different to both of them.

Suzi888 · 09/09/2022 13:53

FourTeaFallOut · 09/09/2022 12:21

Take it as a compliment. Or go full psychological warfare and decorate yours like her old living room?

🤣Yes lol

This has happened to me, it’s a bit annoying but pp correct about not owning the lamps etc. If you’d had them made to order it would be considerably more annoying! I don’t think it’s worth falling out over though.
Very wasteful on her behalf.

Highlighta · 09/09/2022 13:54

My ex-mil used to do this. Copied the same washing machine I bought, blender and all sorts of random things.

Then she went on and copied my new hair style .... I went for a layered bob, which imo looked great on me with my type of hair. Hers, nah, not so much. Secretly I quite enjoyed that.

RagzRebooted · 09/09/2022 13:55

Tort · 09/09/2022 12:58

Oh god it’s going to be so embarrassing if your living rooms are both at the same wedding.

Actually laughed out loud at this, for some reason.

OP, yeah it is wierd. But never mind.

UWhatNow · 09/09/2022 13:55

I’m jealous that people can afford to decorate their houses and so quickly. I’ve waited 10 years for my DH to paint a wall…

BadNomad · 09/09/2022 13:56

Is that weird? I got the same rug and cushion covers as my friend. It was just because I liked that combination when I saw it. I wasn't copying her. She's not that interesting lol.

Twawmyarse · 09/09/2022 13:56

I remember this happening with a friend of mine over some shoes. I showed her a photo of them in a magazine and told her I was going to save my wages from my Saturday job to buy them.

The next week she showed up wearing the exact shoes! I was more than miffed I can tell you! I was only about 14 at the time though...

Lesson learned, don't show her anything in future - or better still show her photos of really hideous things and see if she copies it lol. Some people have no imagination of their own so you have to feel a bit sorry for them really and take it as a compliment.

Treay · 09/09/2022 13:57

Yabu, just take it as a compliment. Who cares if they're the exact same? A lot of people's rooms look similar as people follow trends

BadNomad · 09/09/2022 13:57

I think it's a bit arrogant to assume it's because of you rather than her just liking what she saw.

Tophy124 · 09/09/2022 13:59

I’d find it odd. Less so the paint colour, unless it’s very unusual and not a typical style. But the lamps too is a bit weird.

Most people where I live do have the same colours in their homes. I definitely wouldn’t be showing her anything else you plan on doing tho.

Try to see it from the point of view of wow she’s wasted a lot of time and money copying you!

susan12345678 · 09/09/2022 13:59

Did you patent your paint job and lamp? No. So she's done nothing wrong. No one owns light blue or the name Chloe or whatever. People are free to choose things they like as long as they are not trademarked and it causes no harm

One of my siblings called their dc the exact same (slightly unusual) first name as one of my dc. I didn't fall out with them over it but I must say I was slightly taken aback

dottypencilcase · 09/09/2022 14:00

I'd be massively annoyed OP. Ignore the other sanctimonious gits on here. Stop sharing your plans with her for future projects.

saraclara · 09/09/2022 14:02

In real life I guarantee that almost everyone here would be, at the very least, 'WTF?' if a friend who'd recently redecorated, did it all over again with the exact colour paint and exact lamps they'd showed her that they planned to use (before they'd even started the work)

Is this one of the threads where everyone follows the opinion of the first few posters? Because I truly don't believe that most people wouldn't even raise an eyebrow.

I'm not remotely precious about my house and its decor, but I'd think that behaviour extremely weird if it happened to me.

Mummyoflittledragon · 09/09/2022 14:03

My dd is 14. When she and her friends were 12, they all wanted the same wallpaper. It’s a kind of self esteem, club thing and ensures they ‘get it right’. Her friend, when we take her out to lunch, will always have the same food as dd, as in ‘I will have what ur having’, even if dd changes her mind.

Most of us have ‘belonging’ needs as adults, just not necessarily decor. Your friend is perhaps not the most self assured person and had you used a similar colour on your walls, she’d know she’d ‘got it right’. As you didn’t, she it sounds as though she needed to change hers.

I think this is flattery. Following people around the country is different and means the people copying and following possibly have enmeshed their identity in almost a stalker-like manner.

Sally99 · 09/09/2022 14:03

You'd be even more annoyed if your sister did it. I feel at home in her house as it looks just like mine 😡

pantsville · 09/09/2022 14:05

I think it’s a bit of a stretch to think that just because this woman bought the same lamp, it means she’s so obsessed with being exactly like OP she’d go to any lengths to copy her.

If you start sending pictures of weird, garish items to try and trick her into copying you, I think you’ll end up disappointed. You’ll also appear childish and passive aggressive because it will be obvious what you’re doing.

saraclara · 09/09/2022 14:05

I'd wait until I was standing in her room. I'd look around, frown a bit and day "actually, this colour isn't nearly as nice as I thought. I think I'll go for something else"

gamerchick · 09/09/2022 14:08

Orangello · 09/09/2022 12:58

My best friend's entire house is a copy of mine. I consider this a compliment. Really don't get why I should be annoyed.

I think some of us as old enough to remember single white female. It's creepy

Batceanera · 09/09/2022 14:11

BadNomad · 09/09/2022 13:56

Is that weird? I got the same rug and cushion covers as my friend. It was just because I liked that combination when I saw it. I wasn't copying her. She's not that interesting lol.

Where did you see it?

LookItsMeAgain · 09/09/2022 14:12

@ILikeHotWaterBottles - your lamp choices are so....I just don't have the words....however, I think my lamp choice is spectacular!
Here, have a look:
courthouseinteriors.com/products/giraffe-chandelier-xxl-indoor (be sure to select £GBP as the currency just so you get the full effect) 😮 😲

HuzzahIndeed · 09/09/2022 14:13

I need inspiration for decorating. Please can you post a picture to see if I want to copy it?

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