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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend has "copied" my living room ...aibu?

182 replies

chinhg · 09/09/2022 12:17

I know this isn't important in the grand scheme of things but here we go...
My friend decorated 6 months ago and loved her living room.
Three week ago I was getting work done and showed my friend a picture of the living room I loved and the colour paint I was getting and also lamps and flooring.

She said it was lovely and loved it.
Two days ago she sent me a picture -she has just stripped her living room
She's bought the same paint and same lamps.
Saying "that colour I had was just not for me"
Although she loved it a week ago
Aibu to be a bit annoyed ?

OP posts:
HebeSunshine · 09/09/2022 14:48

Marvellousmadness · 09/09/2022 14:39

You sound like a true friend

....
Not

I think we can tell who the copycats are on this thread can’t we?😆

Riverlee · 09/09/2022 14:49

I’d be annoyed as well.

ifIwerenotanandroid · 09/09/2022 14:50

I've had this both ways round: one friend would copy things off other people & then say, "I got one just like yours!" as though we'd be thrilled, while another friend seemed paranoid that I might have anything in my house like she had in hers. I already had some bits in a colour she'd also used, so she would give me home accessories for birthday/Xmas in colours she didn't want to use - only I didn't like them, either! She only stopped when I said there was a theory that people give what they'd like to have themselves, & did she want me to start buying these things for her? No, apparently she hated them too!!

When we both happened to revamp our kitchens at the same time, she went weird & seemed to think that I would steal her ideas & choices. I already had plenty of my own & didn't want any of hers. In the end she didn't like her new kitchen & the CBF when we showed her our completely different kitchen was a sight to behold.

Batceanera · 09/09/2022 14:53

@BadNomad sounds like you copied your friend.

Op don't share a pictures with this friend.

BadNomad · 09/09/2022 14:58

Batceanera · 09/09/2022 14:53

@BadNomad sounds like you copied your friend.

Op don't share a pictures with this friend.

That's fine. I guess she copied me too then when she bought the same Ninja Airfyer as me. Neither of us is bothered. I don't gatekeep airfyers, she doesn't gatekeep rugs and cushions lol.

Batceanera · 09/09/2022 14:58

One of my dp's friends bought exactly same sofa and chairs as we have. It's a bit strange, but up to them.

If I liked they way a friend had decorated, I wouldn't chose the same. One of my friends picks the same styling as it is shown in the Next catalogue. It looks fab, I wouldn't want this for my house.

TheMoonisaBalloon · 09/09/2022 14:59

@KennAdams
Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

^ this

HuzzahIndeed · 09/09/2022 15:00

@Twawmyarse I actually think with a few tweaks that could actually look pretty good, kinda 50s.

Winter2020 · 09/09/2022 15:07

I would decorate now in something lovely but very different maybe Scandi styling or if you have an older house darker heritage colours.

If she said "I thought you were going to do it like mine" say you changed your mind/not sure it would suit your house like you thought. Give the impression you saw hers and didn't like it. If she is sweet but just misguided tell her it looks nice in hers but you saw inspiration ....... and liked this new idea.

SeemsSoUnfair · 09/09/2022 15:10

chinhg · 09/09/2022 12:55

It's a light mocha /brown feature wall with the other walls cream

You've copied my brothers, cousins, best friend! He'll be so upset it is no longer unique 😱

If you had went for something really unusual I could perhaps see your point. It is a such a common colour combination I couldn't get het up about it.

HelloTreacle9 · 09/09/2022 15:12

A former friend (although this wasn't the reason for us no longer being friends!) did the same OP and it was WEIRD. Bought the exact same coffee table, rug, light fittings, even the same scented candle. I don't have particularly mainstream tastes and they were eclectic things, not matchy-matchy or neutral, so it was extremely obvious. She then bought the same rather unusual perfume as me, that I'd been wearing for years and was a sort of signature scent, if that doesn't sound too twatty. It wasn't a biggie. nothing was said on either side, and I guess it was a compliment but it was all just a bit...odd.

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 09/09/2022 15:14

That's nothing, my friend has copied my whole house! She's got a front door, windows and even a bathroom. I think she has a kitchen too. And a garden.
I don't know what to do for the best. Sad

Thelnebriati · 09/09/2022 15:18

YANBU. It feels weird because your home is a reflection of your identity.

www.huffpost.com/entry/stop-copying-me_b_5979792

rnsaslkih · 09/09/2022 15:19

Swimmingpoolsally · 09/09/2022 14:42

lol for painting her living room brown and cream?😂

Show quote history

No, not for painting the living room brown and cream. For pissing the OP off with weird behaviour.

goldfinchonthelawn · 09/09/2022 15:26

But you showed her a picture which gave you inspiration. So are you copying too or is your taste somehow distinctive?

It desn't matter. DH and I moved into our first home in 1990s and painted our living room a sort of dusty Italian villa orange. It really stood out as you walked down the street snooping in through the windows. Over the next few months about half the living rooms in the street turned orange. It made us smile. Never been a trendsetter before or since. Though a new friend did 'copy' my current living room and told me so, but the colour is so bland, I don't think it counts.

ddl1 · 09/09/2022 15:34

Why bother to get upset about that? It's not as if your living-rooms were being entered for a competition and she was plagiarizing off you in order to win! If anything, it's flattering that she obviously likes your style.

mathanxiety · 09/09/2022 15:45

I would be surprised she had the chutzpah to do it.

I would be very tempted to introduce another colour into my room from time to time if I were you, maybe in the form of a throw blanket or a cushion cover or two, just to see if she would bite.

SillySausage81 · 09/09/2022 15:45

I just couldn't get worked up about this. Your living room is primarily a place for the family to spend relaxing time, so it's important for it to be a place the family enjoy being in. Not that many people from outside the family will even see it. So what if you inspired her with a style she ended up liking? It's her living room to di what she wants with.

LimboLass · 09/09/2022 15:47

It will be awks if you both arrive at the traffic light side by hide in your identical living rooms.

What will you do?

Sunshinegurl · 09/09/2022 15:48

YANBU! I find really annoying when someone copies, surely if she had changed her mind she could’ve chosen different colours and lamps. I hate it when people say that being copied is flattering, it is not!! Next time don’t share your ideas with her, she should be ashamed of herself!

mathanxiety · 09/09/2022 15:52

Or actually, if you haven't yet done the decorating you intended, you could go with something completely different and really yank her chain.

Strugglingtodomybest · 09/09/2022 15:57

If this happened to me, I'd probably think, "That's a bit weird... oh well, whatever".

But I am not into home decor fashion so I, honestly, really wouldn't care.

I'd probably be more concerned about the utter wastefulness of redecorating 6 months after she last redecorated. More money than sense, as my mum would say!

Sunshinegurl · 09/09/2022 16:06

Whoa! lol

Sunshinegurl · 09/09/2022 16:06

Exactly!! It’s annoying.

NeckFanInSoftPlay · 09/09/2022 16:18

This reminds me of that episode of Frasier where someone upstairs copies every single thing in his apartment! GrinGrinGrin