To try for a fourth baby?

[TulipVictory]

This is really silly because i am really on the fence but I am thinking I either have one more now or never.

So what I would really like to know is in my situation, would you have another?

I am 31 years old, I have three beautiful children all of the same gender they are 8, 5 and almost 2. A part of me longs for that one last child but of the opposite gender. I know this is silly because I cannot choose this but I also know that if I had a little one of the same gender I'd love it just as much as my others. The main reason for another is just I have this longing for one but how do I even know that this will stop after a fourth baby. Generally I just love having babies and children and it's lovely having a nice busy household. They all bring so much joy.

However, I know this is not the sensible option. The cons are that I'd need to get a new car and probably a new house eventually or an extension as we only have a 3 bedroom house. My husband is content with three and he said if it was just his decision he would say no more but because I have this longing for another one he wouldn't want me to live with regrets and the what ifs so we'd have one more and then he would happy to go and have a vasectomy. Another con is I know all my family think that if I had another I would be absolutely insane and less supportive.

I just don't know that my reason for one more is reason enough. In my situation, what would you do? It's now or never though. I don't want to be doing the school run forever. When my third starts primary, my first child will already be in year 6.

If you've read this far then I really appreciate it 😊

Going for a second gives you a few bonuses. You get to experience the bond of the siblings, hopefully they entertain eachother, they will have each other when the parents are gone, you get a shot at having one of each gender etc...

More than 2... i really don't see any good reasons honestly.

Sorry it sounds like you just want another child in the hope it would be a boy.

@TulipVictory I wonder what you decided? Came across this thread as my heart wants a fourth (I also have three of the same sex) but my head knows it’s not a good decision. I have found it really helpful reading everyone’s comments.

tThree is enough. Think of the planet.
If you want to be around babies all the time perhaps you could train to be a nanny.

Can you afford it (long term too, university, house deposits etc); do you genuinely have time for 4 children - quality, daily 1:1 time? If yes, then why not.

Well said 👏

Its pretty sad that you want a 4th just for gender, I hope if you do they don't find out (although it's pretty obvious when you're the 3rd or 4th of the same sex in a row). Don't do it.

I wouldn't do it.

It is statistically likely that you will have another one of the same sex - not gender, which is not actually a real thing - and three children is already a lot.

You sound like the kind of person who will always have a longing for another one but you can't keep going forever.

Focus on the children you already have and the things you will be able to do with them once they're all out of the baby stage.

Hi, just wondered what you did in the end OP? Do you now have 4?

@Jaaxe - are you still here? Just saw your comment. What is life like with a 4th in your situation? I think I'm pregnant with a 4th - I have all the signs, just a day or so away from time to take a test. (I really hope I'm not pregnant but preparing mentally for the outcome of it being positive).