I know it's not reasonable to kill a robin but wtf do I do?

[dancemonke]

I have a robin who thinks it lives in my house. If I open any of the windows at all, it flies in and then (if I am in, which I am a lot because I wfh) it panics and flies around shitting everywhere. I am so so so over it. What do I do? I love fresh air and like having my windows, but it just comes straight in and I keep finding bird poo all over the place and I have a one and a three year old and I don't want crap all over the place. This morning, I caught it and chucked it out - and I actually just want to kill it now. I know it sounds silly, but I hate having random bird poo everywhere (it stains the carpets, it's GROSS). Is there anyway of humanely convincing it that it doesn't live here? (Yes, I've googled and I know about the fact that it's a sign of approaching death, which doesn't improve my mood.)

Solidarity OP - we're embarking on our annual summer fight with 2 pigeons who want to nest in the wisteria under our bedroom window and start cooing loudly at 5am every day. I really want to sleep with the window open, but could quite happily murder them right now...

We live in a hideous rental bungalow. Literally the only redeeming feature of this house is the windows and big French windows. I'm not slapping mesh all over the place. It'll cost a fortune and make the place even more miserable.

And I can't not open the windows, because the other feature of this bloody house is that the only way you can cook is on an Aga type thing, which is on all the time. So if you keep the windows closed, the house heats up and up.

So what did you try from the suggestions here? Easier to say so people don't keep repeating the same

OK, enjoy your Robin then 🤷‍♀️

Catch it, drive several miles away and release it.

If you relocate it, the local robins will attack it and try to kill it. They're very territorial...

I understand not wanting to spend a fortune on screens. I ended up buying some fly screen fabric and some sticky magnets. It cost me about £15 to do 4 windows and it's quite fine so allows good airflow without blocking the view out. It doesn't fray so it was just a case of cut a little larger than the window and stretch it taught with the magnets. The sticky residue comes off with nail polish remover so it shouldn't be a problem when you don't need them anymore. It also has the added advantage of minimising mosquito and moth visitors!

Having a screen on your window isn't a big deal, you can get magnetic kits from Amazon that you can customise kit to your window, mine got reinstalled (for the 4th year) a few weeks ago. They keep all the biting and stinging bugs out and my cat from leaning too far out the first floor windows.

Leave the poor bird alone ! Just get some magnetic screen for the door and window , it’s £25

Pictures please

You promised a photo

Is that Henfield, by any chance?

I've seen peacocks roaming in Corsham, too, but that was decades ago.

I've seen peacocks roaming in Corsham, too, but that was decades ago

I can tell you they are still there. Last week one of them followed my friend from a shop to her car like it was her pet lol

Just wring its neck.

"It'll cost a fortune" is ridiculous, you clearly haven't even looked - I have a magnetic flyscreen over my patio door to keep the bugs out, cost me £9.99 and I have the door wide open right now with no risk of insects, or robins.
https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B08RB1SRS5/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o00_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

Well it’s not going to stop flying into your house now it knows it can! Unless something really scares it.

They’re very territorial (it probably thinks your house is its territory now) can you have another fake robin that would put it off? They’re known to attack each other.

Or try hanging shiny things like cds around the area they frighten off some birds.

Maybe email someone at the RSPB?

There may be something (like a smell) that puts them off- e.g. I put white pepper down and it stops the cats pooping in the raised beds.

I think OP must seriously love Mr Robin if they haven't taken advice thus far.
I am very aware of the COL crisis but if a bag tied to the window works (or could) I'd definitely try that.

Was going to suggest the same...

I have them on my windows to keep the insects and flies out - game changer!

Apparently they hate noise, so one of those high frequency thingies or some wind chimes might be worth a try.

These things (and so many more) have been suggested to OP already, seems there has been no update to what she has tried. If anything.

We had a blackbird that fought it's reflection in the wing mirrors of our cars. Whilst fighting itself it would poo - we constantly had a line of bird poo down the door. We bought some bird deterrent things from Amazon - basically hanging reflective eyes and large birds of prey with bells attached. I don't want to speak too soon but it does appear to have worked......

We also have troublesome magpies that peck open any parcels that arrive 🤦‍♀️

We have netting on all our bedroom windows to stop moths coming in in the summer and cats getting out. It’s very cheap! YABU

Don't relocate it! What if it has babies?