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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I know it's not reasonable to kill a robin but wtf do I do?

250 replies

dancemonke · 09/09/2022 10:14

I have a robin who thinks it lives in my house. If I open any of the windows at all, it flies in and then (if I am in, which I am a lot because I wfh) it panics and flies around shitting everywhere. I am so so so over it. What do I do? I love fresh air and like having my windows, but it just comes straight in and I keep finding bird poo all over the place and I have a one and a three year old and I don't want crap all over the place. This morning, I caught it and chucked it out - and I actually just want to kill it now. I know it sounds silly, but I hate having random bird poo everywhere (it stains the carpets, it's GROSS). Is there anyway of humanely convincing it that it doesn't live here? (Yes, I've googled and I know about the fact that it's a sign of approaching death, which doesn't improve my mood.)

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Whataretheodds · 09/09/2022 10:15

Put up a fly screen or gauze or chicken wire across your window which will allow plenty of fresh air through but not the bird.

Or place a model of a cat or sparrowhawk by the window to deter it.

Cigarettesaftersex1 · 09/09/2022 10:16

Or don't open your windows as wide

Original poster
dancemonke · 09/09/2022 10:16

Thanks, but I don't really want to live behind loads of chicken wire! I'll look into cat/sparrowhawk model.

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Original poster
dancemonke · 09/09/2022 10:18

@Cigarettesaftersex1 This morning, one of the windows was literally open by a crack. I genuinely don't know how it got in. It must have genuinely squeezed through!

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antigome · 09/09/2022 10:18

Any defends measure would only need to be temporary-just long enough to reset the robins behaviour.

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 09/09/2022 10:19

Could you put it in a box and drive it somewhere an hour or two away? I don't know if they have a homing instinct, but I guess you'll find out...

I'd be tempted to try and tame it, but sounds like you have your hands full already.

MarmiteCoriander · 09/09/2022 10:19

Get those temporary fly screens for the window, leave it a week then remove and see if it keep coming in.

Put a net curtain over the window

SeaThingChild · 09/09/2022 10:20

Is there possibly a nest somewhere you've not noticed? They sometimes have a 2nd brood later in the summer and they nest in really silly places. I can't think why it would keep trying to get in otherwise.

Original poster
dancemonke · 09/09/2022 10:20

Thanks, @antigome - but I'm not convinced about resetting it's behaviour, because we went away for a week and a bit - and it couldn't get in all that time as all locked up. And literally the day we got back, it was in again. Drives me MAD.

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Original poster
dancemonke · 09/09/2022 10:21

@JesusInTheCabbageVan That's a really good idea - although worry it might die of shock. And also wonder how far you'd have to drive... Haha. Bloody hell. Does anyone actually know how far you'd have to go?

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Megifer · 09/09/2022 10:21

Just get a fly screen its not living behind prison bars or something 🙄 it'll soon work out it needs to move on

TheSummerPalace · 09/09/2022 10:22

We have silhouettes of falcons on some windows! Not because we have a robin visitor, but to stop birds killing themselves, by flying into the windows!

Try the RSPB website?

Original poster
dancemonke · 09/09/2022 10:23

@MarmiteCoriander I wonder how long I would have to do that for? Because we were away for over a week - and the little bugger was right back in within minutes. I don't think there can be a nest anywhere - I'm not a good housewife but even I would have noticed that! (I hope). But also, if there had somehow been one, they wouldn't have lasted the week's absence.

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Yankeedoodlekandle · 09/09/2022 10:25

Do you have any chimneys? We had a birds nest in the chimney in our old house.

Original poster
dancemonke · 09/09/2022 10:25

Thanks for the flyscreen suggestion, but I like having the bedroom windows open as well as the kitchen and sitting room French windows. I'm not spending what could well end up being over a hundred pounds on keeping one robin out of the house! If any one of the windows are open for a second, it's in.

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Original poster
dancemonke · 09/09/2022 10:26

@Yankeedoodlekandle No chimney... It would probably be abseiling down if there were!

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Stath · 09/09/2022 10:27

Do you have a local bird rescue place? They’d probably help. Any locals that have a pigeon pen or experience with birds?

Whataretheodds · 09/09/2022 10:27

Well it sounds as though your options (if you can't deter it from coming in in the first place) are shit or screen.

You could also try a bird feeder outside to distract it.

Original poster
dancemonke · 09/09/2022 10:28

The neighbour's cats are always prowling through our garden, and sadly do catch a lot of birds. But do they show any interest in Satan's Robin? Nope.

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JesusInTheCabbageVan · 09/09/2022 10:28

dancemonke · 09/09/2022 10:21

@JesusInTheCabbageVan That's a really good idea - although worry it might die of shock. And also wonder how far you'd have to drive... Haha. Bloody hell. Does anyone actually know how far you'd have to go?

Make the box into a scale model of your home so it'll feel happy, and leave it at the new location. Grin

Ooh, could you stick some pictures of bigger robins in your windows? They're fiercely territorial, so it'll either be scared away or extremely pissed off.

phishy · 09/09/2022 10:29

Maybe get a cage for it and let it be a pet?

I hate caging bird but maybe this one is used to a life of captivity.

Stath · 09/09/2022 10:29

…or, it could be that you’re really a ghost who’s haunting their old house and doesn’t realise that they’ve died. The robin is actually protecting the home from your supernatural activity pats side of nose and nods

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 09/09/2022 10:31

Stath · 09/09/2022 10:29

…or, it could be that you’re really a ghost who’s haunting their old house and doesn’t realise that they’ve died. The robin is actually protecting the home from your supernatural activity pats side of nose and nods

The robin bought the house after OP died. It's like The Others, but with a robin.

Original poster
dancemonke · 09/09/2022 10:31

@JesusInTheCabbageVan It does occasionally have serious fights with its own reflection, so we're not up against a criminal mastermind here. 😂
I really do think I might just put it in a shoebox and set it free about five miles away. I do quite like the idea of keeping it in a cage as it does already think it lives here, but worry it would just be quite miserable.
The little bastard is sitting on my windowsill right now. FUCK OFF.

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