Family won't respect our no screen policy foe DS

[MoMuM7]

I have a no screen policy for DS (1 yo). Everyone who watches him ie family, childcare knows this. I've recently discovered that my sister has been letting him watch TV for HOURS when he goes over to hers. She loves him to bits but why won't she abide by my rules? Is it really that hard to entertain a child? BTW she's single, lives alone and as far as I can tell has no other responsibilities/distractions that would cause her to plonk DD infront of the telly.
I have now decided she can only see him when I'm around. She's very upset. Family thinks im over reacting. AIBU?

How do you know your sister sat DC in front of TV for hours? And tbh, looking after a 1 yo for hours, even your own child, is boring - if it's not your own child it's deathly.

Are you coming back to your thread?

YANBU she disrespected your wishes. If she loves him so much, as you say, WHY isn't she spending time with him? Why bother sending your son to her if she is just going to put the tv on? What a lazy person she is. She's a lousy babysitter and clearly doesn't love him that much imo. Your family are being unreasonable too. Stick to your guns, you are 100% right.

The television won't do any harm to the child but the OP has asked that there is no television when others are looking after the child. How difficult would it be to follow that request for a few hours

It isn't about boundaries.

It's much easier to adhere to a no sweets rule when looking after someone else's baby than it is to adhere to no screens for hours. It's not easy to entertain a small child. I can't really see the issue with a bit of Cbeebies.

And as for screens being damaging, eg eyes, I've always had jobs where I've done lots of reading and use of screens and at 50 am only just really needing reading glasses - ie exactly the same sort of age as my mother who grew up with no screens at all. I'd be concerned about content, but presumably the OP's sister isn't letting the baby watch reruns of Taggart!

You are completely wrong.

How old was the veggie nephew, out of interest?

If it wasn’t for tv I would b screwed. My 3yr old is a riot and would have my house looking like a tip constantly. Although when he is watching tv it’s blippi or other educational programs and when he’s at nursery it’s baby sensory on YouTube for my nosey 3month so I can tidy 3yr olds toys away get dinner prepared etc as he doesn’t nap much through the day. A little tv doesn’t hurt so u can do other things that needs doing. As long as it’s limited and not for long periods of time I don’t there is any harm in it at all

I am also astonished that so few people take the research behind the no screens under 2 rule seriously.

Have you read that research? The issue is with screens replacing all other interaction.
As long as children are able to interact with the real world and with humans who speak to them and play with them then its fine.

My 5 month old catches the odd bit of her big brother's tv op, I suppose I should be handed in to social services now!

Well I am shocked most think YABU- there is no way a TV for hours is healthy for a baby. Babies like play, park, ducks, interactive games . Your not developing an inquisitive brain by sitting watching TV. Also your sister is ignoring your boundaries so if she is seeing your nephew through choice then until she accepts your boundaries then she needs to stop having him and if your using her for childcare you either accept it or send him to nursery

I'm in my 40s and definitely had screen time. I had some toy keys that I called 'Richard Keys'. The telly was definitely on all morning before we went out anywhere (and then as a child and a teen we watched the whole CBBC program and then Neighbours and Home and Away.

Most friends did the same. It isn't a new thing. It's just different as people have iPads and YouTube.

Are you paying her as a childminder if he’s over there for hours??

If not, then you are being unreasonable in complaining about the screen and dismissing the idea your sister might not have anything else to do while babysitting for you.

Assuming he’s not there all the time, it’s not going to do him any harm, so chill out.

You've got to stop asking for family childcare if you want to be fussy about what they do. Just pay for a nursery or childminder.

YABVU and will be ruining relationships over nothing in the scheme of things.

Put it this way, your sister is "very upset" that her nephew isn't going to be with her as often. To me, this means it's unlikely that all she does it plonk him in front of the TV all day- if that was the case, what would their be to miss?

Relax!

If the OP's sister was caring for the baby so often that this will affect the baby in any way then she should be paid and proper boundaries in place. If it's not regular then does it matter?

Does any of the 'research' people always mention suggest that occasional (once, twice a week) screen time episodes make a difference?

If you aren't used to children 'amusing' them for a day is hard.
You can have a roomful of toys but all they want is the dogs bowl/ to climb on furniture/ to whinge for the biscuit tin.

Apart from strapping them in a buggy for a long walk and putting them down for a looong sleep it's hard.

I would provide DSis with the buggy and some new toys which they might at least spend half an hour playing with.

Well if she's nothing better to do, it's like you're doing HER a favour. 🙄

Well I am shocked most think YABU- there is no way a TV for hours is healthy for a baby.

There's also no way a one year old will just sit and watch TV for hours either though.

Thread has probably moved on by now but your averageone year old is not spending hours watching tv.

If it's on in the background they will occasionally look when something catches thier attention, then go back discovering thier surroundings/messing with anything and everything - which is far more fun.

How about you explain how. The sister lied to the OP about her child.
She sticks him in front of a tv instead of spending time with him.

If I'm wrong, then I don't want to be right because it's so fucked up you can even think what the sister did is ok, on any level.

Exactly. There are some very messed up people with priorities and values all wrong in this thread. I think the OP posted at the wrong time and trolls or kids are on, instead of the adults.

@CatsandFish where in the OP does it say the sister lied?

@CatsandFish just because someone doesn't agree with you doesn't make them a troll.

"Very upset" to me sounds like the sister is just pissed off she was caught out. If she cared at all, she wouldn't have done what she did. It's the sister causing the family rift, not the OP.

Hi OP

You say you 'recently discovered' that your sister has been letting your DS watch TV for hours. How did you 'discover' this and how do you know it was for 'hours' exactly? Is it not just a case that she might be putting TV on for him while she makes him lunch or something?
Given her reaction of being very upset at not being able to spend time with him alone, she might be playing/amusing/interacting with him more than you think and the TV might just be there in the background.

@NerrSnerr I've recently discovered that my sister has been letting him watch TV for HOURS when he goes over to hers.

Sounds like a lie to me. Certainly by omission. If you asked a friend not to give your child lactose, for example, and she said sure no problems of course I won't, then you find out she HAS been doing that, are truly telling me you wouldn't feel lied to?