Family won't respect our no screen policy foe DS

[MoMuM7]

I have a no screen policy for DS (1 yo). Everyone who watches him ie family, childcare knows this. I've recently discovered that my sister has been letting him watch TV for HOURS when he goes over to hers. She loves him to bits but why won't she abide by my rules? Is it really that hard to entertain a child? BTW she's single, lives alone and as far as I can tell has no other responsibilities/distractions that would cause her to plonk DD infront of the telly.
I have now decided she can only see him when I'm around. She's very upset. Family thinks im over reacting. AIBU?

And to add, my kids had zero access to a computer or phone till they were 11! But I still let them watch th at their grandmas!

Some have a no chocolate policy but accept that at nanny's house the rules are different because nanny likes to spoil them. It's how most dc learn that rules can be different in different social contexts.

If you're determined that everyone follows your rules, then you may find yourself unable to go for child-free evenings/ days out or work etc - whatever you need their childcare support with. An older relative, or a relative who is very busy/ not used to children would struggle to run around entertaining a toddler all day.

Why is he at your sister’s for hours?

Is she putting Game Of Thrones or porn on?
Yabu.
Pay for a nursery

Is it really that hard to entertain a child?

🤣

I did not let my baby cry it out in her cot. My Mum babysat DC and is pro crying it out but I made it clear that I wasn't OK with that and asked her to rock DC in the buggy instead. Which she did.

I don't see a difference between that and requesting no TV. I am also not keen on TV and rarely turn it on for DC or myself. I understand you OP. I think your sister should appreciate your no screen rule and follow the under 2 guidance.

However, husband and Mum are happy to let DC watch TV and I want harmonious relationships. I try and compromise by thinking that it's an exciting treat for DC, and by requesting to avoid some programmes I particularly dislike. So no Peppa Pig, Cocomelon or Teletubbies. But Charlie and Lola, Mr Tumble and Moon and Me are ok. Tbf, DC has learnt words from them, and also sleeps better since learning the "hush hush, don't you peep, this is the way we go to sleep" phrase which works well for my husband when putting them to bed.

How utterly ridiculous. You need to seriously unclench and you owe your sister a big apology.

Mine often got CBEEBIES as babies and toddlers to allow me to either get on with something or to just have a cup of tea in peace. Sometimes they were left with it for quite a while.

Mine have survived, I can report, and are unscathed.

You are being very silly.

You can pay a nanny to play with your child exactly how you please, in the meantime if your family are kind enough to watch your child for you - then you have to accept there will be differences. Jeez.

Just because she's single and lives alone doesn't mean that she has hours and hours spare to do childcare for you?

How often are family members caring for your child? What childcare do you use?

Our nursery used to let them watch the telly at the end of the day when parents were picking up.

If your visits are one-offs only a few times a year, then reasonable for your policy (which I applaud) to be respected. Bit more tricky I think if visits are regular and other children are there.

Oh god my sibling was like this with screens, and food and everything else.

when the kids grew up it made them MORE interested in the banned stuff.

moderate amounts of stuff is better than creating a taboo.

I completely agree with you too OP- sitting in front of a TV for hours isn't a good idea for anyone, never mind a one year old.

I honestly cannot believe how many people think it is (although we do have an obesity crisis, so maybe that explains it.)

I try and compromise by thinking that it's an exciting treat for DC, and by requesting to avoid some programmes I particularly dislike. So no Peppa Pig, Cocomelon or Teletubbies. But Charlie and Lola, Mr Tumble and Moon and Me are ok.

But you aren't watching tv in this scenario, right? It's the dc watching at Grandma and Grandpa's house?

This thread is fabulous.

Your sister must be feeling quite hurt at being banned from seeing her nephew on her own. I know I would be. I have young nieces and nephews and when they come to visit, I try and plan the day to involve a walk/something outside, a craft and then usually in the afternoons when they're starting to flag, we'll watch a cartoon or a film together. I just don't see the harm in that and actually, they really look forward to a 'film and treats' at our house (or they say they do anyway!!). Shock...I also give them a little bag of chocolate buttons!! (Slaps wrist/bad Aunty)

If my family removed a niece or nephew from my care because of this, I'd be pretty upset too. Part of going to extended family like aunts/uncles and grandparents is that your kids get 'treats' like this!

You are being very unreasonable. Why are you damaging good relationships over nonsense?

Entertain your own child if it's that big of an issue and so easy to do.

YABU! Massively so.

Also do you send anything with him? She's not going to have a host of baby toys and toddler entertaining equipment to fill those hours.

Adding to the chorus of YABU.

You’re lucky to have the childcare tbh and hours of endless playing can be mind numbing.

Is this regular childcare whilst you’re at work or is she doing you a favour? If it’s the odd favour you need to calm down, if it’s all day every day then it might be more screen time than I’d ideal in which case you need to consider formal childcare options.

A 1 year old would definitely not "sit and watch TV for hours and hours". They

This

How to spot the first time mum!

Chill out!

Absolutely exactly this. If I were your sister, I'd be enjoying my free time with no responsibility.

How on earth did our mothers manage without wretched screens?
Im with OP! Baby is a baby & babies don’t need screens!
(Where’s my hard hat?)

Posting fail.

They don't sit still for that long. But anyway YABU and massively PFB. Screens are part of the modern world. All my kids (ranging through primary school) have to use screens and apps for homework and in school.

Was it more like she had TV on in the background and the child was in the room? Not that they settled down to watch a box set together.