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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Family won't respect our no screen policy foe DS

343 replies

MoMuM7 · 08/09/2022 07:19

I have a no screen policy for DS (1 yo). Everyone who watches him ie family, childcare knows this. I've recently discovered that my sister has been letting him watch TV for HOURS when he goes over to hers. She loves him to bits but why won't she abide by my rules? Is it really that hard to entertain a child? BTW she's single, lives alone and as far as I can tell has no other responsibilities/distractions that would cause her to plonk DD infront of the telly.
I have now decided she can only see him when I'm around. She's very upset. Family thinks im over reacting. AIBU?

OP posts:
Culldesack · 08/09/2022 07:37

I felt uncomfortable just reading the OP. Your child, your rules, so if you want such strict rules adhering to, make sure he's in your care, only.

SimonaRazowska · 08/09/2022 07:37

What a very very PFB issue 😁

a bit like Bridezilla but for pfb’s

00100001 · 08/09/2022 07:38

So your sister looks after your child for hours at a time.... She loves him dearly, your child isn't being harmed, and she's giving up her time (presumably for free)

And your problem is... What?

If you don't like the free childcare from someone who loves your child, time to cough up and out him in paid childcare...

GreenWheat · 08/09/2022 07:39

You are creating a wedge that doesn't need to exist. Can I ask why you have the no screens policy? In my experience it's what they're watching, reading etc that's important as opposed to the medium used for entertainment.

Hellodarknessmyoldpal · 08/09/2022 07:39

At what age will screens be allowed? Cebeebies has lots of great wee programmes aimed at early development and speech. If you aren't paying her to have him yabu.

Thejoyfulstar · 08/09/2022 07:40

It's the 'hours and hours' thing that would annoy me. Im all for a bit of TV for a break from the intensity of looking after children but I don't like the idea of my kids watching hours and hours of TV. However, after having 3 kids myself, I just breathe and let a lot of stuff go. When I leave my kids with my mum, she let's them watch hours of banal unboxing videos on YouTube and probably feeds them Coke and sugar sandwiches. I decided that I want my kids to look back on their time with their Gran and fondly remember how she spoiled them and let them have/do stuff I didn't. Seriously, the fall out isn't worth it. Take it from someone who fell out with family members over my first born when he was small. It was awful and I'd never do it again.

Tomorrowisalatterday · 08/09/2022 07:41

We didn't let ours have screens till 18 months but we also didn't have lots of people watching them for hours and hours..

AnotherForumUser · 08/09/2022 07:41

Here we go again.

BTW she's single, lives alone and as far as I can tell has no other responsibilities/distractions that would cause her to plonk DD infront of the telly.

If you'd posted without the sneery snipe about her relationship status it could have been a good question. You could have had an informative debate without dragging her relationship status/absence of children into it. Instead you dropped that in this telling us all that she has nothing better to do with her valueless time compared to the all important mus and dads. I hope you single sister reads this and decides to enjoy her life with no other responsibilities/distractions and tells you to shove it if you need her help.

Pipsqueakpopsqueak · 08/09/2022 07:41

First child? 😁

FredrikaPeri · 08/09/2022 07:41

🙄

Palmtree9 · 08/09/2022 07:42

I have 2 sets of 'rules' I follow. One set when I'm with my kids (TV off after dinner, tidy time before bed). One set for when anyone else is kind enough to watch them. Their 'rule' is to do whatevers best for them while they have the kids.

YABU to say because your sister is single she has no reason to not give your child her undivided attention. I certainly know that I need time when I'm on my own with 1 year olds.

00100001 · 08/09/2022 07:43

Hellodarknessmyoldpal · 08/09/2022 07:39

At what age will screens be allowed? Cebeebies has lots of great wee programmes aimed at early development and speech. If you aren't paying her to have him yabu.

Tbf it is recommended that screens are restricted for the first 2 years.

My sister did this, but not 100% niece did use phone etc for video calls with family, and to look at photos etc she's 3 now and watches some CBeebies etc, maybe 3-4 hrs a week.

Perfect28 · 08/09/2022 07:43

To be a little fair to the op the evidence is pretty clear that any screen time for children less than 18 months is detrimental. Even after that age it should be used as a tool, ie we watch together and discuss.

byvirtue · 08/09/2022 07:43

I’m with you OP a one year old doesn’t need screen time at all, let alone for hours at a time. They want human interaction, songs, stories. If your sister wants to put him in front of the tv that’s her choice but equally it’s your choice to not want that for him and to say no.

Keroppi · 08/09/2022 07:44

Grin Breathe
Let the child watch bloody Yakka Dee and Peppa Pig with his cousin

Mrs Rachel is good for them to watch

He will understand there are rules at different houses, just let him enjoy his bond with his Auntie and cousin

Twizbe · 08/09/2022 07:44

You're being hugely unreasonable if she is doing you a favour by looking after him.

Screen time isn't some kind of devil and CBeebies is great for little ones.

Chill your beans. There are bigger battles to fight.

marvellousmaple · 08/09/2022 07:46

Oh dear.
Somebody isn't going to have any family willing to babysit soon. That will be the next complaint. Poor sister.

Thepeopleversuswork · 08/09/2022 07:46

You need to chill out.

You can’t shield a child from screens. Yes they are over-used and their use should be controlled. But this kind of hysterical screen avoidance is totally counterproductive. First off your child is so young that he won’t really engage. Second you can enforce your own rules in your own home. Two hours screen time a few times a week is not going to make any difference.

As your kid gets older this sort of control freakery will also run off. My mum was a screen phobe and to this day I have guilt issues about it.

Also your sister is doing you a favour and you are not in a position to dictate what she does in her own home like that.

I understand why this is triggering for you etc but you really need to get a grip.

britneyisfree · 08/09/2022 07:51

Time to pay for childcare then.

mountainsunsets · 08/09/2022 07:51

You're being ridiculous and this will have a huge impact on the relationship your child (you say DS then DD?) has with your family long-term.

Unless you're paying the going rate for childcare, you don't get to dictate stuff like this.

Fadeout83 · 08/09/2022 07:51

First kid, huh?

😀

Kitchenlight · 08/09/2022 07:58

I had a no tv rule but when my family did did me the favour of babysitting they could do whatever they liked. If you pay I think yoh can dictate.

Givemeallthegin8 · 08/09/2022 07:58

I really doubt a one year old would sit for hours in front of a screen . How do you know this?
Why are you making a big thing out of a “ no screen policy “ for a one year old?🤣
one year olds do not have the concentration to watch a tv show , they much prefer to play with things or wander around . I’d say your family think it’s odd.
If the child was maybe 3, I’d then tell family about your “ no screen policy “.

Charlize43 · 08/09/2022 07:58

Quite simply you need to send your sister to a Gulag and can construct a Siberia at the bottom of your garden with a cheap B&Q shed. How dare she disobey your absolute command.

Rinatinabina · 08/09/2022 07:59

Look after your own kid then.