To take DD to A&E?

[Flyinghighinthestars]

Just to show her nothing is wrong? DD is 16 and has autism and adhd. She came back from college today and said one of her ‘friends’ told her to use a vape that they saw on the pavement as they we’re walking home, DD picked it up and used it and then told me when she got home. Apparently it had no vape left in it so didn’t work properly but DD tried it around 5-6 times as her friends we’re telling her to. Anyway now she’s home she’s overthinking (she does this because of her autism) and really worrying saying ‘what if it had dirt or soil on/in it from being on the floor and I accidentally breathed it in’ ‘what it vaping it (the battery was still working apparently) with nothing in has done me harm’ and so on. She’s saying her “voice sounds different” (it sounds the same to me) and saying her throat feels like it’s burning and her chest feels “weird” (DD can’t explain why it feels weird) and “hurts a little”. Me and DH have reassured her nothing is wrong but she’s overthinking still and having a full on autistic meltdown right now. Should I just take her to A&E and get her checked out just to show her she is fine? DD has never used a vape before this incident

@Flyinghighinthestars i don't mean this in a bad way, but your constant worrying is making me anxious. 🤔🤣🤣🤣

Can you sit outside the room she's in for ten minutes and see if that helps? So you're not feeding each others' anxiety?

I hope your dd is calming down now. We've put together a whole bunch of strategies for our send dc to use depending on their emotion. I know it's difficult right now when you are in the thick of it, but it is something I'd recommend in future.

For now, a really good calming strategy we use is a cold/hot drink - depending on preference but I always go for a large, cold drink first when particularly emotional and in meltdown. It gives everyone some breathing space, which is important.

Ultimately if your dd is still 'in crisis' I would honestly call 111. Ideally out of earshot of dd explain what has happened and that she's autistic so might be overthinking it. They will be able to reassure her that any symptoms she is experiencing - remembering that autistic people can experience sensations very differently from us (I've one who will walk away from cutting himself badly, blood pouring without any feeling that it might be serious and needing stitches, and another for whom the slightest bump feels like a broken bone and any attempt at treatment is akin to torture) - are nothing to worry about and make recommendation as to how to support her with the physical experience she is having - eg painkillers. Then, if she's still stressed in the morning, make an appointment to see your practice nurse.

I'm betting that this might be a lesson learned with regards to picking up discarded vapes. Although I can't say she won't do it with anything else.

So sorry your daughter is struggling. My dd is the same age with ASD and has had a huge meltdown this evening due to a thunder storm which made the tv lose its signal 😬. I think some people forget or just don’t understand how something small can cause so much anxiety.

A while ago I grabbed my inhaler from the bottom of my rag and went to take a puff, it was full of dirt and dust (long story but I had been picking chestnuts in the woods and putting them in my bag), I took a big puff and the dirt went straight into my throat and lungs, I was coughing for the rest of the day and my throat was burning. Maybe something similar has happened to your dd? I would try and explain to her that she may have got some dust in her throat and the best thing to do is drink plenty, maybe suck a sweet or ice lolly and hopefully by tomorrow her throat will feel much better. Tell her if it doesn’t you will take her to the gp. I know how hard it is…I have spent half the evening trying to explain to dd that the tv will come back on after the storm had passed and that we would not have a power cut 😬,it really is exhausting and hard to try and calm them down when they have something in there head.

I’m sorry if my reply came across as harsh before too, im just stressed. I don’t share the anxiety but apologies if it came across like that.

You have done 80 posts in just over three hours.
Put your phone down and go make a cup of tea, relax.
Keep an eye on DD from as far away as possible.

Honestly don't. She's not in a place where she can listen,understand and rationalise what you are telling her. You're just adding extra... extra information, sensory issues,sounds,touch etc. Yes it will take her a while to come out of it,but she will. Just be there for her (presence wise) and let it run it's course.

Or even see if you have a late opening pharmacy. They can offer advice where needed.

While some might feel this is playing into her anxieties, for the autistic person, it can also be reassuring to hear from someone other than parents that there is nothing wrong.

This is what I’m doing right now, just leaving her to have the meltdown. X

This is what I’m doing right now, just leaving her to it but there for when she is ready

Good luck OP.

People should be drummed out of MN when they so blatantly post without bothering to read all of OP's posts.

Thank you

OP, in the nicest way possible forget about the vape

A few puffs will not have harmed her.

Forget about it now. Don’t think anymore about it. The constant “will it have harmed her” “but the battery was on” questions really come across as you are panicking and thus influencing this on your DD, making her worse.

Forget about it now. It’s done with. She had a few puffs. Her lungs will be absolutely fine. We can’t turn back time.

Concentrate on dealing with the meltdown the best you can. Don’t mention the vape or her chest to her. Just reassure her that she’s physically fine. Don’t ask her questions. Don’t invade her space. Don’t try and make her do anything. Ride it out.

I suffer from health anxiety and intrusive thoughts, and I often experience heart palpitations and chest pains when I’m having an anxiety attack. It can genuinely feel like I’m about to die. I become extremely irrational.

It may be worth getting in touch with DD’s GP, or CAMHS. If she’s likely to have a meltdown in the near future if triggered by health worries.

It’s also worth wondering what are her “friends” telling her about vapes. There can be some really stupid but harmful rumours that go around schools. Such as “vapes can kill after a few puffs” and whatnot.

I really do hope she is ok and calms down soon x

This is what I’m doing right now, just leaving her to it but there for when she is ready

It's fucking brutal OP and exhausting (including mentally and emotionally) just witnessing it. Just hang in there. I hope it starts winding down soon .

I have forgot about the vape now, just sat waiting for DD to calm, just going to let her meltdown run it’s course x

Would she respond well to logic OP? Like, even if the 'worst' (to her) had happened and she'd swallowed some dirt our bodies are super efficient at getting rid of stuff that shouldn't be there. So, you cough to expel foreign bodies, your nostril hair collects dust, etc from entering your system - stuff like that? Even if there was germs on it her immune system would get ready to kick arse - our bodies are really quite clever really. Maybe if she understood the worst case scenario isn't actually that bad it might calm her?

I think after 3 hours though I'd mostly just leave her to it - until she calms enough for a hug, you both must be knackered.

Thank you, I’m exhausted, feel I need a glass or two of wine to be honest by now x

Don't take her to A&E, it's such a waste for everyone.
I'm a vaper, when I run out of juice and don't realise it gives me a burnt feeling in my throat. Not a great thing to do but I'm sure she wouldn't have done it too much before realising that it wasn't a nice feeling.
Just tell her not to worry and leave it at that. I know she has her difficulties, but it's likely you're feeding her worries. Just leave it be.

I’ll update when she’s calmed down xx

But until then I’m leaving her to it

This 100 times over!

Could you make her an online appointment with a GP? Pushdoctor/Livi or something like that? I think it's about £50 so not cheap but I'm sure if you explain, the doctor could reassure her.

Thank you, I’m exhausted, feel I need a glass or two of wine to be honest by now x

Have ONE. And do something with yourself,rather than sitting there watching her. Honestly, it can help . I don't have a child with ASD but I work with them.

@Flyinghighinthestars I would say please don’t take her to A & E not because of it not being an emergency but because it might start a cycle of reassurance. Autism sometimes displays with OCD and by taking your DD to A&E she might always look at that as a solution to any worries she’d have in the future. From family experience I can not emphasise how harmful that can be and once the cycle is set it’s really hard to break.

I would say distract her as much as you can with something she absolutely loves to do and hopefully the anxiety will start to decline.

best of luck OP😊

I'm autistic and have ADHD, and I relate to your DD's panic. I am hyperaware of my body and any change in sensation or slight pain causes me to fixate - I can't focus on anything else and it becomes overwhelming.

I'm glad you're leaving her to work through her meltdown now too; when I'm having a meltdown, I absolutely cannot de-escalate it if anyone is near me. I need to be completely alone, in silence, in my bed. Obviously it's different for everyone but I know that someone talking to me just completely overstimulates me.