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AIBU?

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Original poster

To take DD to A&E?

305 replies

Flyinghighinthestars · 07/09/2022 18:07

Just to show her nothing is wrong? DD is 16 and has autism and adhd. She came back from college today and said one of her ‘friends’ told her to use a vape that they saw on the pavement as they we’re walking home, DD picked it up and used it and then told me when she got home. Apparently it had no vape left in it so didn’t work properly but DD tried it around 5-6 times as her friends we’re telling her to. Anyway now she’s home she’s overthinking (she does this because of her autism) and really worrying saying ‘what if it had dirt or soil on/in it from being on the floor and I accidentally breathed it in’ ‘what it vaping it (the battery was still working apparently) with nothing in has done me harm’ and so on. She’s saying her “voice sounds different” (it sounds the same to me) and saying her throat feels like it’s burning and her chest feels “weird” (DD can’t explain why it feels weird) and “hurts a little”. Me and DH have reassured her nothing is wrong but she’s overthinking still and having a full on autistic meltdown right now. Should I just take her to A&E and get her checked out just to show her she is fine? DD has never used a vape before this incident

OP posts:
lemmein · 07/09/2022 20:55

It won't have done her any harm at all, however the feeling isn't pleasant - it feels like a burning sensation at the back of your throat, though normally only lasts a few minutes.

Did she have a coughing fit after inhaling? (I vape all the time and still cough if my vape runs dry) if so she might've pulled a muscle in her chest which is causing her pain? Again, nothing to worry about but maybe a way that you can explain to reassure her? 'You know when you cough really hard DD and you get a pain in your chest, but then it goes away? That's all this is'.

Original poster
Flyinghighinthestars · 07/09/2022 20:58

lemmein · 07/09/2022 20:55

It won't have done her any harm at all, however the feeling isn't pleasant - it feels like a burning sensation at the back of your throat, though normally only lasts a few minutes.

Did she have a coughing fit after inhaling? (I vape all the time and still cough if my vape runs dry) if so she might've pulled a muscle in her chest which is causing her pain? Again, nothing to worry about but maybe a way that you can explain to reassure her? 'You know when you cough really hard DD and you get a pain in your chest, but then it goes away? That's all this is'.

She’s been coughing for hours since she used the vape and apparently coughed at the time she said and is still coughing now while having a meltdown, although I know her coughing now is her worrying

OP posts:
lemmein · 07/09/2022 20:58

I think it would be quite difficult to puff on a dry vape 6 times tbh - it's really, really rank. Most likely the battery was dead.

Original poster
Flyinghighinthestars · 07/09/2022 20:59

Tigofigo · 07/09/2022 20:45

I wonder if the meltdown has partly been triggered by starting college. New places, people, routines - lots of change which can be hard for some autistic people. This might be why she's having a meltdown for the first time in ages and the vape thing is just the "gateway" for bigger feelings / her stress bucket was already full when this happened.

I find focusing on staying regulated, calm and quiet myself is the best thing I can do in these instances. Put ear plugs in and don't feel like you need to say much if anything. If things start to calm, you could try offering a snack or hug or whatever you think she'd like.

Your DH was really unhelpful!

I was thinking this too but she’s been fine all week until this today but I guess I can’t speak to her in more detail now until she’s calm

OP posts:
Original poster
Flyinghighinthestars · 07/09/2022 21:00

lemmein · 07/09/2022 20:58

I think it would be quite difficult to puff on a dry vape 6 times tbh - it's really, really rank. Most likely the battery was dead.

If she did puff on a dry vape 6 times it won’t have harmed her though?

OP posts:
Original poster
Flyinghighinthestars · 07/09/2022 21:01

Bluemeadowbaby · 07/09/2022 20:40

@Flyinghighinthestars hmm there are lots of these disposable vapes at the moment. Most of them light up in some way whether that be on the side or the bottom but there may be some that don't light up at all. If she did inhale anything whether that be from one that lights up or one that doesn't - and she's sure it worked - it will cause her no harm if it was a vape. They feel harsh on the throat but definitely no harm to her health in regards what she said she has done.
I know a lot of people are saying not to take her to A&E - I agree with this - but if you are unsure and she is unsure too you could call 111 for advice/reassurance. Not to add fuel to the flame but inhaling anything found on a pavement I too would be a little unsure of even if it posed as a disposable vape I guess can never be sure, so I understand her distress that she is worrying as I guess it may be her way of realising it was a bit silly to do/peer pressure from friends? How's she doing now? X

She said it was a dry vape that had ran out but the battery still worked.

she’s getting worse again now, I thought she may have been calming but nope x

OP posts:
JorisBonson · 07/09/2022 21:01

Flyinghighinthestars · 07/09/2022 21:00

If she did puff on a dry vape 6 times it won’t have harmed her though?

Show quote history

No, it will not harm get in any way whatsoever. This has been repeated a lot in the last 10 pages.

Original poster
Flyinghighinthestars · 07/09/2022 21:02

ChangeNameagain2 · 07/09/2022 20:41

Op I'm a nurse, sitting beside a doctor (dh) and we have just poured a large glass of wine after our autistic daughter finally fell into bed after an epic meltdown. I know your pain. My daughter will never listen to us as 1st I'm 'just a nurse' and 2nd my husband is a surgeon so she will only listen to him if it's to do with heart surgery (she did have 2 holes in her heart so does get worried about it)

My brother in law is a GP though and the amount of times we have to get him up here to reassure her is ridiculous. If its any consolation (and we would never give out medical advice online) both me and dh would bet 99.99% the vape did no harm at all. Probably just a bit of that burnt feeling and other symptoms are anxiety related. Hope it ends soon, I'll drink my wine with thoughts of you.

I mean this in a nice way but it’s comforting to know I’m not alone, hope you have a lovely evening of course

OP posts:
Original poster
Flyinghighinthestars · 07/09/2022 21:03

Ok off to try and reassure, comfort and calm DD again, hopefully it works this time, feel like I’ve already tried everything though and it’s just not working

OP posts:
lemmein · 07/09/2022 21:03

If she did puff on a dry vape 6 times it won’t have harmed her though?

No, not at all - its just tastes really vile and hurts your throat (for seconds)

nutellachurro · 07/09/2022 21:04

Jesus Christ

How are you still going on about this issue

Don't try and lie to her and say you've called 111

Don't pretend a tic tac is a special pill for vaping related illnesses

You are feeding this issue, reassurance only goes so far, you need to just ensure she is safe and leave her to it

I can see why your DH stormed out

georgarina · 07/09/2022 21:06

Agree with PPs that OP is feeding into the issue and getting DD more wound up. She needs to be the voice of reason, not sharing DD's anxieties. Literally nothing could happen from puffing on the dry vape, and many people have said this. It seems like OP is also struggling with overthinking/anxiety.

Original poster
Flyinghighinthestars · 07/09/2022 21:06

nutellachurro · 07/09/2022 21:04

Jesus Christ

How are you still going on about this issue

Don't try and lie to her and say you've called 111

Don't pretend a tic tac is a special pill for vaping related illnesses

You are feeding this issue, reassurance only goes so far, you need to just ensure she is safe and leave her to it

I can see why your DH stormed out

i’m trying my best here, she has literally been having this meltdown for hours. If I just leave her to it and don’t try and reassure her or calm her whatsoever then we’ll be here all night

OP posts:
Dunnoburt · 07/09/2022 21:07

Not read all pages sorry but I'd say she's probably at risk of catching covid/cold etc. and that's about it (whoever discarded the vape had their lips on it beforehand)! Hope she's OK OP xx

itsjustnotok · 07/09/2022 21:08

God please don’t OP. If you know there’s nothing don’t suggest it. You wouldn’t believe the number of people who come to A&E simply for reassurance for various pains. There’s the chance that if you take her once it could become a regular thing.

Original poster
Flyinghighinthestars · 07/09/2022 21:08

Dunnoburt · 07/09/2022 21:07

Not read all pages sorry but I'd say she's probably at risk of catching covid/cold etc. and that's about it (whoever discarded the vape had their lips on it beforehand)! Hope she's OK OP xx

Thank you, I’ve accepted it won’t have harmed her but just need to get DD to see that now by reassuring her and calming her, I’m trying my absolute best here, I’m exhausted xx

OP posts:
Original poster
Flyinghighinthestars · 07/09/2022 21:10

i’m not feeding DD’s anxiety I’m really not, I’m trying to calm her and reassure her that it won’t have harmed her but nothing is working

OP posts:
Sally090807 · 07/09/2022 21:11

Flyinghighinthestars · 07/09/2022 18:09

Please don’t judge, I’m just at my wits end

It’s neither an accident or an emergency 🙄

nutellachurro · 07/09/2022 21:11

@Flyinghighinthestars

You'll be here all night because you keep feeding her meltdown

Just walk away and she will burn out, like a fire a meltdown needs oxygen. Stop giving it to her

nutellachurro · 07/09/2022 21:12

Flyinghighinthestars · 07/09/2022 21:10

i’m not feeding DD’s anxiety I’m really not, I’m trying to calm her and reassure her that it won’t have harmed her but nothing is working

Nothing is working because sometimes the best solution is letting them work through the meltdown on their own.

Anyone would think this is your first rodeo

Original poster
Flyinghighinthestars · 07/09/2022 21:12

nutellachurro · 07/09/2022 21:11

@Flyinghighinthestars

You'll be here all night because you keep feeding her meltdown

Just walk away and she will burn out, like a fire a meltdown needs oxygen. Stop giving it to her

I have now, I’m just sat down and leaving her to have the meltdown

OP posts:
Original poster
Flyinghighinthestars · 07/09/2022 21:14

I’m just going to leave her to the meltdown now then instead of trying to calm her/reassure her

OP posts:
Merrymumoftwo · 07/09/2022 21:15

Hi op, another mum with an autistic teen. Sometimes I find I have to stop talking for a bit so if my DD is full on meltdown and calm talking is not here I break up reassurance with periods of quiet. So “ you’re safe, I’m here for you. When you are ready we can talk” quiet for a few minutes then “ I’m here for you, I love you”. Try to keep what you are saying short because they don’t always absorb what is being said when in full on meltdown. When calmer follow nhs guidelines for sore throats

Bollocks989 · 07/09/2022 21:16

I was just wondering about that OP. Go and watch TV or listen to some music, or sit in the garden, even if it is raining 😁. If she follows the different environment might distract her.

georgarina · 07/09/2022 21:17

Flyinghighinthestars · 07/09/2022 21:10

i’m not feeding DD’s anxiety I’m really not, I’m trying to calm her and reassure her that it won’t have harmed her but nothing is working

I said this and I'm sorry if the message came off harsh. I didn't mean it that way, I just have a sibling with autism and as I said severe OCD/germophobia runs in my family to the point my aunt and uncle had to put controls on their taps to stop my cousin washing her hands raw.

It was just the questions about whether she could have been harmed by the vape that made me question whether you shared the anxiety.

Is it possible for her to understand that this is just a symptom of her anxiety and overthinking? This is a CBT technique that really helped some of my family.