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AIBU?

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Original poster

To take DD to A&E?

305 replies

Flyinghighinthestars · 07/09/2022 18:07

Just to show her nothing is wrong? DD is 16 and has autism and adhd. She came back from college today and said one of her ‘friends’ told her to use a vape that they saw on the pavement as they we’re walking home, DD picked it up and used it and then told me when she got home. Apparently it had no vape left in it so didn’t work properly but DD tried it around 5-6 times as her friends we’re telling her to. Anyway now she’s home she’s overthinking (she does this because of her autism) and really worrying saying ‘what if it had dirt or soil on/in it from being on the floor and I accidentally breathed it in’ ‘what it vaping it (the battery was still working apparently) with nothing in has done me harm’ and so on. She’s saying her “voice sounds different” (it sounds the same to me) and saying her throat feels like it’s burning and her chest feels “weird” (DD can’t explain why it feels weird) and “hurts a little”. Me and DH have reassured her nothing is wrong but she’s overthinking still and having a full on autistic meltdown right now. Should I just take her to A&E and get her checked out just to show her she is fine? DD has never used a vape before this incident

OP posts:
Original poster
Flyinghighinthestars · 07/09/2022 18:09

Please don’t judge, I’m just at my wits end

OP posts:
gab254 · 07/09/2022 18:09

No, this is not an A&E moment if you feel there's nothing wrong with her

Pupsandpaws · 07/09/2022 18:11

It's not a&e's job to reassure her there's nothing wrong. If she has real serious symptoms then you should go. But not just to reassure her.

SheeWeee · 07/09/2022 18:11

Not judging but no. You can't take a teen to a&e to prove there is nothing wrong with them, no-one has time for that.

Thekormachameleon · 07/09/2022 18:11

A&E is not there to reassure your daughter when she's done something stupid

Original poster
Flyinghighinthestars · 07/09/2022 18:11

gab254 · 07/09/2022 18:09

No, this is not an A&E moment if you feel there's nothing wrong with her

She says her chest hurts a little but no way to know if it’s her overthinking due to her autism or if her vaping an empty and “slightly hot” (DD’s words) vape has accidentally harmed her a little. That being said, I don’t think it has harmed her and do honestly think she’s overthinking it because of her autism

OP posts:
Bemoredog · 07/09/2022 18:11

No, because you don't want her to then believe she needs to go to A&E for reassurance when not needed.

Original poster
Flyinghighinthestars · 07/09/2022 18:12

Pupsandpaws · 07/09/2022 18:11

It's not a&e's job to reassure her there's nothing wrong. If she has real serious symptoms then you should go. But not just to reassure her.

I don’t know if she actually has the symptoms she’s saying or if it’s her overthinking and worrying because of her autism

OP posts:
Original poster
Flyinghighinthestars · 07/09/2022 18:13

Is it harmful/bad to use an empty vape with a battery that is still working? It was one of those disposable vapes

OP posts:
Pupsandpaws · 07/09/2022 18:14

Let's say what she's saying are true symptoms then, Hurting a little and feeling weird still isn't an a&e job. Rest and a warm drink maybe?

Sarahconnor1 · 07/09/2022 18:15

Average wait time was 9 hours at our local A&E in a large hospital.

A&E is not the place for a reassurance check.

Hesma · 07/09/2022 18:15

No… total waste of time, already stretched resources and money

JugglingJanuary · 07/09/2022 18:15

I wouldn't.

I have a lot of experience with Autism, both with family members & with work, but this is only my opinion.

the NHS doesn't have the capacity to be used as a learning experience right now.

& because it just adds to the 'catastrophising'

I'd reassure her a lot, remind her of the crap she chewed on as a toddler, and how vaping IS bad for you, but not the few puffs she had.

Ask what she has learnt from this.

DISTRACT

Then tell her to go to her room/have a bath/whatever because you're done hearing about it. Firm but fair.

you know your DD though, everyone with Autism is different, so only you can decide.

best wishes.

Original poster
Flyinghighinthestars · 07/09/2022 18:15

Sarahconnor1 · 07/09/2022 18:15

Average wait time was 9 hours at our local A&E in a large hospital.

A&E is not the place for a reassurance check.

Oh god, 9 hours?!

OP posts:
Original poster
Flyinghighinthestars · 07/09/2022 18:16

JugglingJanuary · 07/09/2022 18:15

I wouldn't.

I have a lot of experience with Autism, both with family members & with work, but this is only my opinion.

the NHS doesn't have the capacity to be used as a learning experience right now.

& because it just adds to the 'catastrophising'

I'd reassure her a lot, remind her of the crap she chewed on as a toddler, and how vaping IS bad for you, but not the few puffs she had.

Ask what she has learnt from this.

DISTRACT

Then tell her to go to her room/have a bath/whatever because you're done hearing about it. Firm but fair.

you know your DD though, everyone with Autism is different, so only you can decide.

best wishes.

She didn’t actually vape it as there was no stuff left in it but the battery still worked when she tried to used it apparently

OP posts:
TooMuchToDoTooLittleInclination · 07/09/2022 18:16

Flyinghighinthestars · 07/09/2022 18:09

Please don’t judge, I’m just at my wits end

@Flyinghighinthestars definitely NOT judging xx

Completelyovernonsense · 07/09/2022 18:16

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at poster's request

GreenManalishi · 07/09/2022 18:16

She will be physically fine. You don't sound so sure yourself though so she may be picking that up. She might have a slight weird feeling in her chest, like one might after inhaling something strange, but she will be fine.

It would be unreasonable to take up a space at a&e, this is not an accident or an emergency.

Original poster
Flyinghighinthestars · 07/09/2022 18:17

JugglingJanuary · 07/09/2022 18:15

I wouldn't.

I have a lot of experience with Autism, both with family members & with work, but this is only my opinion.

the NHS doesn't have the capacity to be used as a learning experience right now.

& because it just adds to the 'catastrophising'

I'd reassure her a lot, remind her of the crap she chewed on as a toddler, and how vaping IS bad for you, but not the few puffs she had.

Ask what she has learnt from this.

DISTRACT

Then tell her to go to her room/have a bath/whatever because you're done hearing about it. Firm but fair.

you know your DD though, everyone with Autism is different, so only you can decide.

best wishes.

I would absolutely distract or tell her to go to her room or have a bath but she’s currently lay on the floor screaming and crying and hitting out and having a full on meltdown, she hasn’t had an autism meltdown this bad since she was younger

OP posts:
Original poster
Flyinghighinthestars · 07/09/2022 18:18

TooMuchToDoTooLittleInclination · 07/09/2022 18:16

@Flyinghighinthestars definitely NOT judging xx

Show quote history

Thank you x

OP posts:
Original poster
Flyinghighinthestars · 07/09/2022 18:19

This reply has been deleted

This has been withdrawn at poster's request

Thank you, will do this when/if she stops having this autism meltdown

OP posts:
GreenManalishi · 07/09/2022 18:19

Sorry to hear how distressed she is, I think a nine hour stint in waiting room is unlikely to help her.

Original poster
Flyinghighinthestars · 07/09/2022 18:20

GreenManalishi · 07/09/2022 18:16

She will be physically fine. You don't sound so sure yourself though so she may be picking that up. She might have a slight weird feeling in her chest, like one might after inhaling something strange, but she will be fine.

It would be unreasonable to take up a space at a&e, this is not an accident or an emergency.

It’s been hours and hours since she used it though, that’s why I’m not so sure anymore over if she actually does still have a weird feeling in her chest and if it’s something to be worried about but I am thinking it’s just her overthinking

OP posts:
Original poster
Flyinghighinthestars · 07/09/2022 18:20

GreenManalishi · 07/09/2022 18:19

Sorry to hear how distressed she is, I think a nine hour stint in waiting room is unlikely to help her.

I know on second thoughts I don’t think A&E would be the best place for this either

OP posts:
Atmywitsend29 · 07/09/2022 18:20

A&e is not the solution.

If she's already having a meltdown as you described, feeding into it by taking her to a&e is hardly likely to help calm the situation down.