To take DD to A&E?

[Flyinghighinthestars]

Just to show her nothing is wrong? DD is 16 and has autism and adhd. She came back from college today and said one of her ‘friends’ told her to use a vape that they saw on the pavement as they we’re walking home, DD picked it up and used it and then told me when she got home. Apparently it had no vape left in it so didn’t work properly but DD tried it around 5-6 times as her friends we’re telling her to. Anyway now she’s home she’s overthinking (she does this because of her autism) and really worrying saying ‘what if it had dirt or soil on/in it from being on the floor and I accidentally breathed it in’ ‘what it vaping it (the battery was still working apparently) with nothing in has done me harm’ and so on. She’s saying her “voice sounds different” (it sounds the same to me) and saying her throat feels like it’s burning and her chest feels “weird” (DD can’t explain why it feels weird) and “hurts a little”. Me and DH have reassured her nothing is wrong but she’s overthinking still and having a full on autistic meltdown right now. Should I just take her to A&E and get her checked out just to show her she is fine? DD has never used a vape before this incident

@Flyinghighinthestars does she like a blanket over her?

can you put a relaxation podcast on? Or anything she likes to listen to? I know she won't engage now, but it might help calm her anyway.

to reassure YOU. The empty cape, with the battery still working, will not do any harm, it might have felt hot & horrible at the time, but hours later it's her anxiety causing the symptoms.

up your acting skills, a pretend phone call can't hurt, great script upthread!!

Will try this but she’s lay on the floor shouting screaming and crying and hitting out having a full on meltdown

Would using very black and white logic help her?

If using an empty disposal vape could harm you enough to require hospital treatment, would they be allowed to sell them in petrol stations or corner shops? They'd have to have an impossible to fail cut out and would be about fifty times more expensive.

Similarly if contaminating them could kill you they'd have to be used with a disposable plastic cover like ear thermometers.

And no, much as she has additional difficulties, a and e is definitely not the place

Oh it's so hard. I have experienced real health anxiety before and nothing distracts me and the more reassurance I get the more I need. I think it's just a case of time showing that nothing bad has happened. Would writing the worry down help? It has helped me before. Also I would just go to bed when the anxiety got too much. Could she have an early night? Sorry no real suggestions.

Tell her you've googled it or spoke to the doctor. Give her a paracetamol for the 'pain'. One won't do her any harm and might work as a placebo.

Okay lay down with her close as you can without being hit and try to get her to do some breathing exercises to calm down maybe put a blanket over her put some calm music on just let her get it out. Then when she has calmed she will eventually maybe try a placebo. Physical anxiety symptoms are awful she will be in distress.

Thanks will get her a cup of milk now, will be lucky if she doesn’t pour it on me /throw at me while having this meltdown

Going to try this pretend phone call as well now

I am autistic and something that helps me if I'm having a meltdown is an ice pack on my neck. Might be worth a try. If you're still feeling unsure I'd phone 111 rather than A&E or you could do the online questions.

If she realises it is a pretend phone call she will never trust you again.

I know this is a worry

Don't make a pretend phone call because, again, you will be reinforcing her belief she needs a Dr.

Agreed.

Haven’t done it yet and getting unsure about it incase it makes her worse. Just got her the milk and she’s knocked the cup over and it’s all on the carpet so need to try and clean it now

The other thing that helps me to calm down is putting my face into cold water - it sets off the divers reflex and slows the heart rate.

Once calmed down from the acute meltdown I'd encourage her to do some self soothe - for me that would be a weighted blanket and a cuddly toy and watching/listening to something relaxing or a bit of colouring.

Do you have a friend/neighbour who is a nurse/HCA/paramedic who can talk to her to give some reassurance.

OP this sounds like a really tough situation to be in and I can only imagine it's very distressing for your DD as well as yourself. If I try to put myself in her shoes even though as mum she trusts you, sometimes it's words of a "professional" that (please don't take this in the wrong way as I mean it so kindly...might sound really ignorant? So I apologise if I'm putting it wrong) everyone, no matter who we are, can have that ability to self doubt and catastrophize a situation but I understand this is sounding on the higher scale at the moment? Instead of taking her to A&E could you maybe call 111 and let her listen so this gives reassurance?

But right now I'd try the icepack on her neck.

Turn your phone to do not disturb before you fake a call.

I have no experience whatsoever of autism meltdowns so prepared to be told my suggestion is utter nonsense, but...would playing classical music help?

I have an anxiety disorder and find it very soothing and (not to compare your daughter to an animal) find it also works to calm frightened animals (cats, dogs, large beasts, wild elephants etc)

Bless you, good luck. Hopefully this will be the last time she does anything like this. Thank god it was just a dry one obviously you get ones with thc in them now can't imagine that would have gone well 😳 if and when she calms down make sure you go and have some time to unwind.

Is it worth staying in the room for her safety but completely ignoring her.
Watching tv or something and working really hard at not even acknowledging the behaviour. Giving her time to calm down but also knowing she's safe by watching her x

Yes I need to stay in the room to keep her safe xx

BTW my chest felt awful after I boldly tried a cigarette as a teenager, took a couple of days for it to feel normal again and I only inhaled twice. I think she'll be fine and it's just panic she's feeling.

Have you got any sports bottles you could put the drink in? Then if it’s thrown there’s no cleaning up

Would removing her from the situation/room she's in help? You could put her in the car, and just drive about, open the window, get a bit of fresh air on her face.