I have come home from work…

[Itsokay2020]

To find that my ‘D’P has hacked away at two shrubs in our garden and it looks awful, beyond awful.

I do the majority of gardening and five years ago our new build garden was a completely blank canvas apart from a lawn and patio area. Since then I have planted trees, shrubs, plants and created a garden space that I am proud of, and a space we are complimented on. My phone camera roll is full of photos of the garden evolving over the past five years.

Today I receive a text to say that ‘D’P has hoovered, done some ironing and done some pruning, followed by a 😁 emoji.

He’s actually hacked away at two shrubs, which would have provided berries and shelter for the birds in winter, and reduced their size by a least 50%. They used to cover the plain wall of our carport, provided screening and allowed some privacy from our neighbours (and vice versa). No discussion took place, nothing.

AIBU to be so angry, to feel as upset as I do? Of course, they’ll hopefully grow back next spring. But they didn’t need to be reduced in size, I maintained them well and they looked really good! Now they are ugly, shapeless, and I simply don’t understand what possessed him!

AIBU? Any advice?

I can't understand how people think that two ugly fences and a wall full of pipes looks better than a bush with some flowers on the top.

This !!!

It’ll come back even better next year!

I have to say I think his version is an improvement. The bushes look nice and full and rounded. Admittedly, a little more of the pipework is showing, but it was showing before too.

The fact that he did this before the shrubs had borne berries is obviously upsetting but he probably didn't realise that. I have got into trouble with my husband for similar shaping/"tidying up, simply because I hadn't realised.

When you used the word "hacked" I visualised shrubs cut down to the bark with no, or very little, foliage.

They will grow back anyway. Really, there are much worse things he could have done!

I do, though, agree with the poster who said that the text detailing all the jobs he had done would have annoyed me much more. Or do you do the same when you have carried out little jobs in the house?

I agree. Gives you more room and needed doing. The plants will grow very quickly anyway.

decide where you want a new patio and start digging him a hole.

i belong to a few gardening Facebook groups and they are filled with posts about husbands who’ve mowed over, cut down, or pulled up prize flowers and shrubs… i don’t think they can actually help themselves once they get a tool in their hands! You have every right to be annoyed - just tell him not to do it in future … and yes, agree with another poster - the at will come back stronger next year if it’s any consolation.

It is tidy, but I understand that you're now looking at a blank wall and the neighbours. I much prefer how it looked before especially with the flowers too. We like our garden looking a bit natural and more on the wild side too and it keeps it much cooler in summer (I'm in Queensland Australia and we have stinking hot summers).

Pruning will make the plant flower more profusely next year and it'll grow back beautifully. Yes I agree the real issue is lack of communication, but also gardens become extensions of the gardener and it's not logical. I am very protectiv
e of my carefully created garden and feel irritated if anyone "helps". It's like doing a painting and someone else drawing into it; whatever it looked like I'd hate it! Have a nice glass of wine and start planning your next planting season?