my boyfriend likes Andrew Tate....emotional support please?

[PinkStarAtNight]

so I only really came to know of Andrew Tate a few weeks ago when he got banned from the internet and it was on LBC. The way they described comments that he said reminded me of a guy I had overheard my boyfriend laughing at when he was watching TikTok. I had raised an eyebrow at what I heard and my boyfriend had laughed and said 'he's saying everything tongue in cheek, but to be honest a lot of what he says is true.'

I didn't think too much of it until I heard the show on LBC saying he had been banned for his misogynistic comments and harmful influences on young people and they quoted some of what he said...I went to my boyfriend and asked him if this was the guy he sometimes watches clips of. He said yes, it was. We then had a conversation about him being banned and boyfriend said he didn't think he should have been banned, because its cancel culture and all Andrew Tate did was express his opinions. I said that he was spouting misogynistic comments and it was awful/could have a negative impact on young men/as a society we can't allow those sorts of comments etc so of course he should have been banned.

In the last couple of weeks we have had numerous conversations about it, where we have both been tried to be calm and listen to each other's opinions. His argument is that Andrew Tate is standing up for men everywhere who feel oppressed by society and feel that their mental health issues are not recognised or taken seriously. He quoted how men are more likely to commit suicide and don't feel able to talk about their feelings, and women just want to try and 'fix' them by using methods that help women, like talking...but men don't like talking, it doesn't work for them, the thing that works for them is to 'go into' their masculinity.

Recently boyfriend has started saying things like 'women take advange of men', 'women are like annoying children', 'women want to work less than men' etc etc etc...he never said these things before watching Andrew Tate. He's says that Andrew Tate has 'set men free' and made it so they can finally speak their minds. And the fact that he got cancelled as soon as he did that, shows that society isn't ready to listen to men's problems and we (the women, because apparently women have taken control of society) just want to "shut them down". He gets very angry and emotive about this.

After me trying to talk to him more about the problem with some of the things Andrew Tate says, Boyfriend said that when it came to the misogynistic comments the media have misquoted him. So - tonight I sat down and watched some of his interviews on YouTube. I could barely stand to sit through them. The stuff that comes out of his mouth is vile. I started to send boyfriend messages quoting what Andrew Tate was saying in the interview I was watching...

for example:
"a father who is around for his child is like a second mother...a mother is there to keep a child alive, a father is there to make an impact"

"if you're there all the time you're gonna lose to an degree you're mystery....

"the biggest mistake fathers make is that they let the woman convince them that to be a good father they have to be there all the time....a man used to be at war or down in the coal mines...now he's at home changing nappies like a punk"

"For a female to retain her attractiveness to a man she has to retain a air of mystery..."

"If we accept biology no man is completely a one woman man...the male evolutionary imperative is not to have just one female....now there are dudes out there who will disagree with me but those are dudes that have got low testosterone and they ain't got no money and they ain't nothing...'

'Women are essentially like children"

"Chicks don't pay for anything"

I sent these quotes to my boyfriend, and pointed out to him to that in fact his idol had just insulted him, because my boyfriend firmly believes in being faithful in a relationship and never cheating...and yet Andrew Tate says that my boyfriend thinks that way because he 'has low testosterone and is nothing'.

Boyfriend has now blocked me, after sending the above messages to him.

I feel so upset and confused. I wish I could talk to my girlfriends but tbh they already don't like him very much and if I'm overreacting I don't want to get them all riled up and make it a thing for them to bring up when we get together, but I need a bit of a hand hold so I'm coming here.

Be gentle please. I don't know if IABU or what to do, I just feel upset/angry/confused. Maybe I should be trying to understand his point of view more but I just can't get my head around it.

I've seen other situations where men will immediately mob another guy over a woman without knowing the facts.

So let me get this right - when a man attacks another man without knowing the facts... it's still a woman problem and example of women having "power" over men?! Gosh.

Whatever MRA subreddit you came across this thread in is probably looking for you. Off you pop.

Just to push my point home - that was male on male violence. They had a choice and their choice was to assault someone for kicks. Any decent man would have supported her in making a police report.

Stop blaming women for mens lack of control.

I'm sorry that happened to you Dexter. Must have been scary. I can understand you blaming the woman in the situation but surely the men were just as much to blame?

Males are statistically way more violent than women, by orders of magnitude, and many people, both men and women, have been the victims of male violence. Was some of that violence encouraged by women? Sure, I'll buy that. But the person who does the violence is ultimately making a choice. Men are not women's puppets.

And yes, there are false allegations that can be incredibly destructive of men's lives. However, there are also real rapes and sexual assaults where women are not believed and that destroys their lives. If 5% are false claims then I guess 95% are real, but the conviction rates don't reflect that. So women do genuinely have their lives ruined over this. It doesn't make it fair that there are false allegations, but unfortunately the nature of this particular crime is that it's very hard to judge what happened after the fact. I'd also add that in the UK at least, the vast majority of rapes go unreported, so that also skews the statistics.

I do think there is too much man-bashing on social media and in the media generally. Most women love and like men. It's a shame if men decide to dislike or disrespect women on the basis of what they see on social media. I think people like Andrew Tate are creating division where there doesn't need to be division. I prefer to support men like JBP or Rogan, who are respectful towards women and have love for women.

I made it perfectly clear to them that I wasn't going to be their victim that night, so they moved down the line until they found a suitable victim.

If only the myriad assaulted women had thought about doing this! Honestly they bring it on themselves. Just make yourselves CLEAR, women!

Seriously OP, are these the kind of 'arguments' that your BF is won over by? He mustn't be the brightest crayon in the box?

I'm sorry that happened to you Dexter. Must have been scary. I can understand you blaming the woman in the situation but surely the men were just as much to blame?

Without the woman as the excuse they'd have just battered someone at random like they were going to do anyway in this imaginary scenario

12 pages in and your example, if it actually did happen is a relatively rare example of a woman acting like a horrible Saturday night High Street geezer.

But it was okay for you anyway because you can talk sternly to multiple would be aggressors and they just go away. I'm surprised they bothered engaging if you ooze such threat

ducks but I think there are issues re male and female relations/roles today, that need open and free discussion along "men and women are not interchangeable" lines. I think this would neutralise his toxic stance more successfully than banning him.

So hang on this woman accused you of SA. They were going to beat you. But you were intimidating enough that they didn’t and a few feet away, she accused another man and they beat him?

Firstly, being intimidating often doesn’t work for women. So had you have been a woman confronted, you would have been beaten.

You were intimidating, but not enough for them to disappear. Just beat someone else right in front of you.

Has it occurred to you that all 3, were just terrible people and using SA as distraction so they could get away with if caught.

3 people. 2 of which were men who were going to do the beating. So in this one Incident, the majority of people involved were men. You were able to be intimidating enough to scare them off. All 3 of them. But it’s it’s proof that women have more power over men?

Whats happening on the US, the same as here, is that women are having boundaries. Less and less are settling for the bare minimum and some men are getting angry about it.

Of course some women are awful. Take any group and some people will be awful. But your story, doesn’t prove women have more power.

Andrew Tate did a video about how if you woman talks back you should beat the fuck out of her face, strangle her and fuck her because ‘what can you do now with your face all caved in’.

It is not responsible for any platform to leave that up or support his content.

@Andromachehadabadday feel a bit silly now 😳. Neuter his voice but encourage discussion and new voices.

I was you. 25, love of my life, but was also wondering if it is supposed to be that hard. And all my friends hated him.

let me tell you, it is NOT supposed to be that hard. And your friends are right.

Best advice of my life...

When a men tells you who they are, listen

And

Get on the helicopter of happiness and get out of there

Exh was a mysogynist. Never expressed opinions that clearly tho or I may have had a heads up. I became his female servant.

Run for the hills.

Tate is incel to the extreme. I've watched a reaction video of his. His views are very extreme. I wouldn't be with any man who not only watches him but would brain dead enough to start believing him. Dump the twat and be grateful you've had a lucky escape.

So the problem with Andrew state was no that he centered mens mental health or mens issues or created a space for men to express themselves and talk about these issues.

He created a platform that men paid to be a part of. To get people paying, his content and podcasts was extreme.

He advocated Violence against women, financial abuse of women, ownership of women, pushing women back into a domestic only role etc This attracted men, who didn’t just struggle with life in general. Or want a male centered place to be understood. It attracted men who believed women and their rights were directly blame for how unhappy they were and that women were to blame for all their problems.

It attracted men who believed that women that did sleep with them were sluts and women who wouldn’t were worthless pieces of shit. It attracted men who feel that they are entitled to sex from women, wether women want to or not. Or who think if they buy a woman a drink, she is obligated to have sex with him. Then would complain that women have an easy life because people buy them drinks, as though men aren’t using that to try and manipulate a woman into feel obliged to have sex with them.

and this is the problem. A lot of the big mens right content creators, are creating content not to help men, but to drive the oppression and abuse of women. They get the following because they advocate putting men in control of women.

If there’s online space for support of men, without it harming women, no one really objects. Those ‘voices’ just rarely become as popular as the men advocating violent misogyny.

Andrew Tate was on several social media platforms for a while, it wasn’t until a big you tuber did a video on him that the social media platforms had to act and remove him. The company who ran his payment systems also couldn’t been seen to supporting him either. But he was allowed to spread his message of hate for quite a while.

Despite what some recent posters will try and convince people, AT wasn’t cancelled for standing up for men. He was cancelled for inciting hate and violence against women. Any new voices spreading the same, won’t be encouraged by me.

Men who want figureheads to stand up up for them already do encourage voices, unfortunately those voice often choose the ones that want to harm women.

Also these men forget that many of us have sons and family members we love deeply. Of course we support mens rights and mental health support for men. But abuse and subjugation of women is not that.

But just to give you a reference to my original comment, I was walking home after getting late-night dinner at Subway around 1am through a bar area in town. Stupid decision, I know. Two drunk guys ran up on me with a woman closely in tow accosting me claiming that she said someone touched her and that I was the guy.
Women are responsible for mens actions

The woman had a look of excitement in her face that she was about to witness someone get beat down over her.
Men know the real reasons why women do things.
plus
Angry women are crazy. Angry men have trouble expressing themselves.

I made it perfectly clear to them that I wasn't going to be their victim that night, so they moved down the line until they found a suitable victim. They beat this dude to a pulp. I know the guy was innocent because they were eagerly prepared to dish the same to me but because I was a physical threat they backed off.

The worst thing about male violence is that it makes men look bad.

@Andromachehadabadday thanks for that informative reply. Perhaps discussions need to go mainstream to remove the toxicity.

I am not sure what you mean by more mainstream to be honest.

My thoughts entirely!

You’re the BF aren’t you? 🤔

The biggest red flag is people like you who want to cancel others because they have a different opinion. The lust to be a dictator, to control voices, the level of arrogance to assume others must be silenced and only you are right, my gosh, can only imagine the horrors of being in a relationship with such a person.

YOU DO NOT STAY WITH A MAN WHO ADAMANTLY ADMIRES ANDREW 'TIT'.

TIT IS A CLOSET RAPIST!

He will have the most skin crawling, darkest, sickest, repulsive nightmare Netflix documentary 10 years from now!

I have a husband who can be a real wind up merchant! So I could see him trying to wind me up if he ever heard TIT talking! BUT I would not tolerate a single second of it, and if I ever remotely saw him in agreement with anything coming from that Satans mouth... he would be welcome to pack his bags!

If your BF cannot stop 'joking' about this shit! You know what you're signing up for. I don't know why you would stay with a misogynistic pig.

He's says that Andrew Tate has 'set men free'
Take this gift from Andrew Tate OP - & set your man free.

Why not believe what your b/f is telling you - that he is a misogynistic twat?
Look at how you are knotting yourself into a preztel to try to understand/explain/excuse his vile beliefs.
Look at how you are avoiding telling your women friends the truth about him, in case they say the same as I reckon will every PP on here - you need to ditch this bloke.

You are even posting here to try & find some way to reconcile the fact of your boyfriends horrible belief system with somehow cobbling together a way to stay with him. You can't - he believes these things, & no amount of research, argument, or common sense fact is going to make him change his mind.

You need to rid yourself of him before he drives you bonkers.