so I only really came to know of Andrew Tate a few weeks ago when he got banned from the internet and it was on LBC. The way they described comments that he said reminded me of a guy I had overheard my boyfriend laughing at when he was watching TikTok. I had raised an eyebrow at what I heard and my boyfriend had laughed and said 'he's saying everything tongue in cheek, but to be honest a lot of what he says is true.'
I didn't think too much of it until I heard the show on LBC saying he had been banned for his misogynistic comments and harmful influences on young people and they quoted some of what he said...I went to my boyfriend and asked him if this was the guy he sometimes watches clips of. He said yes, it was. We then had a conversation about him being banned and boyfriend said he didn't think he should have been banned, because its cancel culture and all Andrew Tate did was express his opinions. I said that he was spouting misogynistic comments and it was awful/could have a negative impact on young men/as a society we can't allow those sorts of comments etc so of course he should have been banned.
In the last couple of weeks we have had numerous conversations about it, where we have both been tried to be calm and listen to each other's opinions. His argument is that Andrew Tate is standing up for men everywhere who feel oppressed by society and feel that their mental health issues are not recognised or taken seriously. He quoted how men are more likely to commit suicide and don't feel able to talk about their feelings, and women just want to try and 'fix' them by using methods that help women, like talking...but men don't like talking, it doesn't work for them, the thing that works for them is to 'go into' their masculinity.
Recently boyfriend has started saying things like 'women take advange of men', 'women are like annoying children', 'women want to work less than men' etc etc etc...he never said these things before watching Andrew Tate. He's says that Andrew Tate has 'set men free' and made it so they can finally speak their minds. And the fact that he got cancelled as soon as he did that, shows that society isn't ready to listen to men's problems and we (the women, because apparently women have taken control of society) just want to "shut them down". He gets very angry and emotive about this.
After me trying to talk to him more about the problem with some of the things Andrew Tate says, Boyfriend said that when it came to the misogynistic comments the media have misquoted him. So - tonight I sat down and watched some of his interviews on YouTube. I could barely stand to sit through them. The stuff that comes out of his mouth is vile. I started to send boyfriend messages quoting what Andrew Tate was saying in the interview I was watching...
for example:
"a father who is around for his child is like a second mother...a mother is there to keep a child alive, a father is there to make an impact"
"if you're there all the time you're gonna lose to an degree you're mystery....
"the biggest mistake fathers make is that they let the woman convince them that to be a good father they have to be there all the time....a man used to be at war or down in the coal mines...now he's at home changing nappies like a punk"
"For a female to retain her attractiveness to a man she has to retain a air of mystery..."
"If we accept biology no man is completely a one woman man...the male evolutionary imperative is not to have just one female....now there are dudes out there who will disagree with me but those are dudes that have got low testosterone and they ain't got no money and they ain't nothing...'
'Women are essentially like children"
"Chicks don't pay for anything"
I sent these quotes to my boyfriend, and pointed out to him to that in fact his idol had just insulted him, because my boyfriend firmly believes in being faithful in a relationship and never cheating...and yet Andrew Tate says that my boyfriend thinks that way because he 'has low testosterone and is nothing'.
Boyfriend has now blocked me, after sending the above messages to him.
I feel so upset and confused. I wish I could talk to my girlfriends but tbh they already don't like him very much and if I'm overreacting I don't want to get them all riled up and make it a thing for them to bring up when we get together, but I need a bit of a hand hold so I'm coming here.
Be gentle please. I don't know if IABU or what to do, I just feel upset/angry/confused. Maybe I should be trying to understand his point of view more but I just can't get my head around it.