To ask you to give me the best parts of single life?

[newsinglelife]

I am leaving a very unhappy and toxic relationship in the next few months. Having made this decision finally today after months of unhappiness, arguments, and emotional abuse I feel as though a weight has been lifted from my shoulders.

I am going to find things right financially but I'm going to make it work, for my 2 girls. I will be a newly single mum to them both.

Please tell me a) this is going to be OK as I'm having a little wobble, and b) what are the highlights of single life? 🙂

Everything is better, even the shit bits are better. No more walking on eggshells, no more tantrums, no more silence, no more anxiety, I could go on. It took me four and a half years to divorce though, he dragged it out, which just made it worse for him. The judge was scathing about his behaviour.

I now feel like 'me' again and I am happy and joyful. I can smile again. I wish you and your children happiness and joy in your new life.

It will absolutely be OK

You can arrange your life the way you want it. Start with thinking about the little things you would do like have tea in the garden in the morning, or buy a mug you want, or go swimming with your girls on a Saturday, or eat breakfast or smoothies for dinner. Think about day trips you might take. Little treats. Have a running list somewhere.

FREEDOM. not having to consider someone else and just doing as you please.
Being as gross as you want, not having to deal with anyone else's emotions.

Every single thing. You get so used to it it's a pleasure. I've been single for years now I couldn't have a man living with me again.

@EmpressaurusWitchDoesntBurn
no matter how dismissive cat is they’re always the best….when they want cuddles unconditionally 😻😻
And you hear them snoring next to you on bed ……priceless ❤️ And it’s not an annoying snore either ❤️

I was talking to a friend the other day who had a problem in their house they needed fixing and she was stressing out over it, as her dh wouldn't agree to spend the money. Initially I was 🤨 that she couldn't just do it and then I remembered that was what marriage is like.

I love and value making my own decisions ! It can be daunting at times but it's still the best feeling .

I most definitely will. I can't imagine anything worse than getting attached to another man anytime soon. Fuck that. I'm living my life with my girls! I'll have myself some fun/little dates of course, but nothing more. It's me and my girls now. 🥰

Oh god unfortunate typo! I meant I most definitely will not

😂

I'm better off financially being single as he's not wasting my cash in booze and expensive food!
He was always weird about eating leftovers
Love being able to decide exactly what I want to do and when!
There's no atmosphere or tension at the weekends now
I sleep a lot better in my lovely clean house and my own bed!
Don't have to worry about him coming late to bed drunk! Or ruining family occasions...

Love this one!
And, username checks out

Calm. Peace. Ex was a shouter, slammer of doors, disappearer for days on end; all that insecurity and uncertainty is gone. I get to close the front door at the end of the day and be with my DD. I can devote all the time and energy I used to spend keeping the wheels going on a shitty relationship, to my kid. I don't worry about where he is, or how much of our money he's spending in the pub. I love it.

I'm absolutely loving all of these 🙂
Please keep them coming! Its honestly helping so much to alleviate my anxiety.

Peace
Being Happy

Best part - to be able to give your kids your love and time instead of some needy twat taking up / ruining all your time with their pointless fucking drama.

@sagalooshoe 😂😂 love that one

OP. I'm a single mum (widowed) to two kids. No family. I have my kids 24/7. If I can do it, you can. I promise. And I work full time.

Also, you can sit in your pants watching Netflix while you stuff your face. Winning!

Best advice I was ever given for days like you're having today is...

Don't use how you are feeling NOW to assess whether you've made the right decision. Use how you'll feel in 6 months, 2 years, 5 years. How you'll feel for the rest of your life being FREE will be an indicator of whether you've made the right decision.

Now, the best bits of being single....where do I start?

If at Christmas you have £50 left and spot a nice frock in a shop window, you don't have to call ANYONE to check whether it's ok you spend your last bit of money on the dress.

You can wake up on a Saturday morning and have Walls Vienetta for your breakfast, and there's no-one to stop you.

You can stay the extra 10 minutes chatting to the school Mums and don't need to worry that someone will be expecting their tea ready.

You can fart in bed and be disgusted at yourself for the rank smell without anyone actually moaning about it.

You can laugh out loud at QI, Have I Got News For You, and Would I Lie To You without anyone thinking you're boring for watching 'talking' programs.

You can trust your instincts with things and thrn afford the time to see that you were right.

You can say chat to bar staff without being accused of sleeping with them

You can choose what colour to paint the living room. And the kitchen. And the bathroom.

You won't be tripping over damp towels on the floor all the time.

No one shouts if you burn the tea

Movies nights in watching slushy rom-coms and Disney Films with your Daughters

You can sleep starfish in the bed every night.

You can admit you don't know DIY and feel very accomplished when you learn

Most importantly, you are now dancing to your own tune and no-one else's. YOU get to call the shots and YOU get to be the Leading lady in your own life. YOU now control your destiny.

Much love my dear, you've made the best decision ever xx

Well done for making such a brave decision! I'm single nearly 3 years.

• no snoring, undisturbed sleep and can starfish and enjoy all of your bed
• can do whatever you want whenever you want, don't need to let anyone know or check with anyone
• all your money is your own to spend on you and your kids

-don't have to run decisions by anyone I could go on 😃 Enjoy your new free life!! Excited for you

@blondepinkaudi

I'm so sorry for your loss 😔
You are an inspiration 💖

And yay to Netflix in your pants!

Spontaneity... its an absolutely wonderful, wonderful thing!

I lost myself for a long time and very much lost this part of me. Don't get me wrong, I have to be responsible and organised but I love a last minute camping trip or having a picnic in the park for dinner as the weather's nice...

I've been single a fairly long time after a 'not awful but not great' marriage and a pp was totally right... if I do dip my toe in again, I know exactly what I won't accept. It's liberating being comfortable with who you are!

Best of luck, OP! You're going to find yourself again which is the absolute best gift you can give yourself!

Eating one bag of crisps out of a 6 pack and knowing there will still be 5 bags left a week later.
Obviously the time line is wrong because no one waits a week between bags of crisps but you get my drift 🙂

Haha not if my eldest gets to them there won't be 😂

I raised my DS alone and money was difficult for a long time. But it was my money to spend as I saw fit. I didn't have my ex thinking he was entitled to anything.

Aside from money being a worry I had so much fun raising my DS. I could be as flexible as I wanted. We used to sometimes stay out all day, have dinner and then go for a movie. With my ex he would have expected me back to sort things for him.

Even when things were difficult it was easier without him.

You will be fine.

No smoking money no booze or weed to pay for already I’m richer, I’ve not even moved out yet don’t know when it will happen got to save lots first. Yes to no mess on toilet seat. No boring facts about rockstars you couldn’t give a shit about.

Never having to walk on eggshells, you can watch what you want, go where you want when you want, have the house how you want, no negative energy.