To ask you to give me the best parts of single life?

[newsinglelife]

I am leaving a very unhappy and toxic relationship in the next few months. Having made this decision finally today after months of unhappiness, arguments, and emotional abuse I feel as though a weight has been lifted from my shoulders.

I am going to find things right financially but I'm going to make it work, for my 2 girls. I will be a newly single mum to them both.

Please tell me a) this is going to be OK as I'm having a little wobble, and b) what are the highlights of single life? 🙂

Reading in bed until 2am 😂

Oh and having a shower at three am if you fancied it (during heatwave)

I was having a wobble earlier thinking I'll be doing everything myself for my girls. But then, when I stopped to actually think about it (and my friend helped me to realise this): I do about 85% of the parenting and household stuff already, on top of working FT. So what bloody difference is it going to make (apart from financially)?! I'll be doing essentially what I'm doing now, but without the stroppy man child and his moods. 🥳🥳

Oh god so many positives, even though I'm now in a new relationship I often joke that I miss aspects of my single life 🤣 I came out of a 10 year relationship at 30 with kids and literally had a reawakening 🙌🏻

• you learn to rely on you, and that is liberating. You will never again have any resentment for your mental load, for your share of the house work, for how much money you have/they have, because it is all down to you now and there is freedom in that. You find a new routine and get into a good rhythm with it.

• your house will be immaculate because it's your own system.

• your children will behave better than they ever have once you find your boundaries and stick to them. With only your rules to follow everything becomes a lot more simple behaviour management wise.

• nights out become SO FUN again!! I literally had the most fun I've ever had being single again. I rediscovered community, I started new hobbies, I became a yes person.

• you will date again and it will be hilarious, hideous, uncomfortable, exciting and you will realise how horny you still are!

• when you find love again it will hit you like a ton of bricks and you won't believe that it feels EXACTLY the same as when you were a teenager (I unfortunately found the heartbreak feels the same too 😂 but it's all part of the experience).

• when you find somebody else to settle with, if that's what you choose to do, you will only choose someone that improves your life. You will never allow yourself to be in the same situation as you were before.

Good luck OP, this will be the making of you ♥️

-No stupid arguments and irritation
-Making all your own decisions
-Not getting annoyed the other person isn't pulling their weight
-Being spontaneous
-It's nice to have time just for you after the kids are in bed

Haha I'll only be having one a month when the energy bills go up 🫣🤣

@violetcuriosity

I am so excited for this new life after reading your post! 😁

I was just scrolling through my Facebook and this popped up.

😊😊

@newsinglelife
i agree that’s a good post, mine have been light hearted positives really but that post from @violetcuriosity explains the more important benefits to your mental health and well being
but a clean loo is also important 😭

When I kicked out cheating ex I was delighted to have all bedroom drawers for myself instead of having to share with him. I saw that as a big plus.

This is so so true.

I felt so lonely when l was married.

Freedom to live my own life
Cooking what I like to eat without criticism
No blokey keeping up with the neighbours
Freedom to raise my ds as a kind, gentle person
Kitchen discos without anyone sneering
I can do things that aren't trendy without anyone moaning
Going an entire weekend without alcohol or makeup and no-one thinks it's weird

I'm so excited for you! I remember when I started to have new people on my social media from meeting them a few times on nights out/at quiz nights/at the gym etc and then when I'd get a message asking if I fancied a drink I just couldn't believe I got to relive all those fun years of my youth again 😄 you get the butterflies and you forget how lovely they are!

One word of warning.... beware of the narcissists that are floating about, I was quite naive in a lot of ways. If it seems to good to be true, it is. If they have a psycho ex, a good rule of thumb is to assume that they, are in fact, the psycho and to tiptoe away quietly 🤣

Not having to watch endless shit TV which is stupidly loud

Getting the bed all to myself

Not getting touched up every time I'm in the shower through the cold shower curtain.

Knowing exactly what money I have in my bank account

I'm sure there are more but even after 5 years on my own these make me very happy.

I went pretty much from relationship to relationship from 14 till 35 ( they were all long term, at least 2 or 3 years, longest being 13 so not all just flings lol) but now I've been single nearly two years and it's honestly brilliant can't see myself changing it for anything in the world. If millionaire, young Brad Pitt with a personality tailored to suit mine knocks on the door I might reconsider but that's about it. Anyway just the total and utter freedom is amazing actual bliss, and men, even the nice ones are just stress and I honestly cannot be arsed dealing with it anymore. With regard to raising children it's genuinely 10x easier on your own. Yes you have to do it all but it's easier when your not relying on the unreliable all the time. You will never have an argument and try and get them to stop raising their voice incase the kids hear ever again. You get to make all the decisions regarding parenting.
I could go on but honestly just in enjoy it. Once that initial period of adjustment is over you'll be in your stride.

This is silly to some but I can’t wait you won’t see the walls in my bedroom for Brenner posters. Calendars duvet covers.

All of it OP, I knew I never fancied being in a relationship, gave it a try and I was right. It wasn't for me. I love everything about being single. I have total freedom and control over my life and I love it.

Single life is fantastic, I did a 10 year stint and miss it!!

Rewilding the garden

@newsinglelife
please don’t jump into a new relationship for a while though, you need some time to reflect and be yourself

I’ve been there. Once you get over this bit and adjust to being on your own you really appreciate not having to consider someone else or worry what they think. I love being on my own now, it’s been 5 years and I can’t ever imagine being in a relationship, even a normal one. I’ve become selfish and I don’t want to have to think about another person. I love my kids but when they’re in bed or whatever, I just want to chill on my own.

Going to bed at peace knowing your not being cheated on or played like a fool

having your own space

not having to answer to anyone or consider your other half when doing what you want

Not having to share a bed with someone who snores

Being able to have the bed all to yourself (although my DC love to sleep in mine with me)

the independence to be able to manage on your own

no false expectations and broken promises (like promising to put up the flat pack wardrobe for weeks on end without actually making a move)

not having to share my food (although I don’t mind sharing with my kids)

I could go on…

This.

I absolutely love being single.

Also I went on holiday with teen dd this summer to a city I'd previously been to with ex, and hated. And I LOVED it with dd.

So I'm adding - no more miserable holidays with a twat

I can’t imagine ever wanting to be in a romantic relationship again either. I have wonderful friends & family, so I’m not alone or lonely, but I’m so much better off having my home to myself.

Apart from the cat, obviously.