I can see why women stick with men who have money

[FayeGovan]

I mean even when they arent a great match. Money makes life easier. I have friends in this position, they arent worrying about the energy cap or the price of lurpak. They have their own new cars and holidays to look forward to. They work part time in an undemanding job. Nights out and weekends away aren't a worry.
I can understand why they are with husbands they dont particularly like or love though.
Its not for me but i cant see why they do it.

@JustForThisOne7

Yeah.

I did.

@Thepeopleversuswork

I have assets in my name as well as assets in shared names. I have a pension. I have the protection of marriage. And it was part of the decision, I wouldn't have married someone I didn't think I could build a life with. And I don't see the issue with that?

If he cheats or is horrible I will leave him and live my life? And he doesn't call all the shots? He values me and who I am.

I don't care about designer purses or fancy hotels. I have security. And that means something. Yes, I could have built it myself, but I probably wouldn't have been able to build what I have.

I'm not saying it is right or wrong, but if you find someone you can build a life with and they have money.... That is not an opportunity I would waste.

@JustForThisOne7

I mean... you know your marriage better than I do. And from what you've written he sounds decent and honourable. Until he decides not to be, and rich men tend to be very good at quickly getting "shared" assets transferred back to be their assets when the shit hits the fan.

I understand that this can work out for some women but its fundamentally still playing Russian Roulette.

Yanbu. Things are much easier with money.

Is it just money, or is it not only having their kids 50% of the time too ?

I split with my daughter's dad and he has EOW and time in the holidays, not 50%. He's not even pushing for 50%. It's not a given.

@KhaleesiDothraki

All marriage, relationships in general really, is playing Russian roulette. There's always a chance of things changing.

Of course. But that's why you can only really ever be responsible for yourself. Financial dependence on anyone else is a fool's errand.

No problem at all with people marrying wealthy men but what the OP is talking about, which is marrying a wealthy man whom you don't particularly get on with specifically for the money, is asking for trouble.

It wouldn't be something I'd want. But ultimately it's an arrangement, isn't it? Both partners are getting something out of it. If it works for them, it works for them. Not everyone wants or needs the same things out of a marriage. So yes - like you, OP, I can see why it happens and why it might work for some people.

There are plenty of women on Mumsnet who stay with men they don't love solely because they don't want to be a single parent, or have to move house. There are also plenty of women on Mumsnet who only really stayed in their relationships because they didn't think they'd have time to have children if they started again with someone else. That doesn't seem any different to me to sticking with a man because you can lead a comfortable and largely worry-free life.

Ultimately, people's marriages are their own business and just because that type of marriage wouldn't work for me personally, I'm not going to be judging people for it.

Att: Blackpill trolls on the loose.

Thank you for your amazing insight that people's desires and priorities change as they mature, Mr Blackpill. Your deep philosophies on life and humanity must help you to cope with the burdensome knowledge that your rage, fury, misery and inability to form relationships are all the fault of other people.

Normally I'd assume it's a troll, but we've had such an influx of these...people lately, I think they're genuine. You know how angry they get at female-oriented spaces where women speak without their correction.

I think there must have been a thread where people made fun of posters on a website for punters that reviewed sex workers. It's happened before.

I married for love and money was just a bonus, my closest friend compares her marriage to a man 30 years her senior, in ill health but rich to my marriage. They don't love each other but she wanted money and he wanted a young blonde. It works for them

Not peoples, women's in general.

Men always want the same thing regardless of our age.. - Beauty and youth. We don't care about occupation or money.

Bleeeeuuughhh

Oh, my apologies. I thought the men with a few social skills and a hint of character were also partly to blame for your utter failure at life, as they take the women away. I stand corrected.

Honestly, why wouldn't a beautiful young woman want a catch like you?

We are pretty happy and very very close friends and do have a physical attraction after 25 years. Both high in career but living in different Gulf states and share everything. Would we still be together living in the UK on 100k between us paying school fees and mortgage? Yes I think so, but let's be honest. When money and status and politics are not a division, of course life is easier. We both live in company houses with no utilities bills or stress so can enjoy life. Its not perfect but it is easy.

@SteveUK4 How proud your mums must be of you all with your balanced views on life and your deep understanding of women and relationships.

If you marry for money, you'll earn every penny...

Same goes for many jobs.

Well yeah but at least if its your job its your money.

I agree with the op.

Yes, independence etc is great.

But if you don't have to work, life in a fabulous house, drive a nice car and most importantly don't have to worry then that's worth a lot.

And let's face it, after 20 years of marriage, most people are just going through the motions anyway.

did your phone autocorrect this in to some other language?
i cannot understand about 80% of that.

It means: "I couldn't find the clitoris if I was led there by Francis Drake."

Ahhhhhhhhhh got it now.
thank you