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AIBU?

AIBU in not tipping?

136 replies

Thecarpetisbeige · 06/09/2022 08:25

Here in the UK we have the national minimum wage laws so anyone working in a restaurant should be paid at least that. I get that it's not a lot of money (I'm not on much more myself) however I could go into a retail store, let's say Primark and a shop assistant could give me absolutely amazing customer service but I'm not allowed to tip her. That Primark staff member could be paid the same wage as a waitress serving me in a restaurant whose service is very basic i.e. taking a food/drink order and bringing the food to the table without a smile or any friendly chat, yet they expect a tip?

Years ago dining out used to be an experience, waiters/waitresses made chat with you, told jokes etc, really made your experience something extra special so I could maybe understand wanting to tip someone in those circumstances but there isn't a lot of that anymore. Most dining out in recent years is just someone taking your order and bringing it to your table (i.e. doing their job in which their employer pays them a wage).

I was having a chat with a colleague the other day and they said it's stingy not to tip but I just feel it's not necessary in the UK. In America a lot of states don't have any minimum wage requirements and so some American staff work solely on tips so tipping is sort of built into ther culture.

But in the UK there are loads of roles where people are paid the national minimum wage or just above but those specifically working in hospitality seem to expect tips.

AIBU in not wanting to pay tips?

OP posts:
Whataretheodds · 06/09/2022 08:26

Yanbu.

KangarooKenny · 06/09/2022 08:28

I feel like I have to tip in this country. I feel like I have to tip my hairdresser too.

Spottydotdotty · 06/09/2022 08:29

I would always tip. It would never occur to me not to and I factor that in when I go out for meals

nutellachurro · 06/09/2022 08:32

YANBU

I rarely tip, and when I do it's for superior service, or for those I know who are struggling

Qwerkie · 06/09/2022 08:35

i tip when the service has been good. You aren’t obligated to tip but the generally accepted view is you’re tight if you don’t. The salesperson in primark only has to put up with customers for a couple of minutes at a time, serving staff have to put up with them for several hours each.

ZenNudist · 06/09/2022 08:36

I always tip but in your situation where you don't earn a good wage I can see why you'd begrudge it.

I don't tip hairdressers and don't often tip taxi drivers. I Always tip in restaurants with full service but not in cafes or pubs where you order at a till.

I tipped hotel staff this last week because they were so hard working and did such a good job. I felt sorry for them and they all deserved it.

satelliteheart · 06/09/2022 08:36

Dh and I have cut right back on tipping with all the post-covid app ordering. If I go to wetherspoons, I go to the bar and place my order, someone brings my food to the table and clears the plates. You don't tip them. If I have to place my own order in an app (that I've probably had to use my own data to download) and someone just brings the food to the table, this to me is no different to ordering at the bar, so I don't tip. I agree with you, there are lots of minimum wage jobs in this country that we don't tip so why do service staff have an expectation that they should receive additional money from the customer?

Delabruche · 06/09/2022 08:38

I live in Italy and most people don't tip. I hate tipping in the UK as I find it stressful I would rather it was included in the price. YANBU

MintJulia · 06/09/2022 08:38

YANBU. It's your choice.

I tip if the service has made our evening more enjoyable. Our local pizza restaurant always goes out of their way to be friendly, accommodating, welcoming, so I tip. My way of saying thank you.

The local Costa, service is sullen and slow, so no tip.

Ship · 06/09/2022 08:39

I rarely tip. I don’t tip my hairdresser or nail lady (both own their own businesses so have chosen the prices of the treatments). I don’t tip when I’m out for a meal unless it’s amazing. Like you say they are getting paid. I will get my hairdresser and nail lady a present at Xmas though like a voucher for somewhere

Aprilx · 06/09/2022 08:39

I am not rationalising it, but it is customary to tip in restaurants in the UK and I do not know anyone that would not.

2pinkginsplease · 06/09/2022 08:42

If I’ve had good service then I’ll tip. If I haven’t then I don’t. I worked in hospitality for 18years so have high standards for good customer service, a huge bugbear of mine is sloppy service,

I do however ask if the server gets to keep most of their tips (eg half to them,half to kitchen staff) then I tip well but if it’s all pulled and split at end of the month then I don’t tip much,

I want the people actually serving and making my food to get my tips.

the difference is the primark server only has each customer for a max of 3 mins whereas the the person working in the restaurant has to seat the customer, take drinks, give menus, tell them the specials, deliver drinks, take food order, set the table, deliver food, deal with any complaints, clear plates, try and upsell on sides and desserts while maintaining a happy smiley face for approx 60-90 minutes of service for each table.

Ive worked in both environments and hospitality is much harder to keep customers happy,

beeswaxbonnie · 06/09/2022 08:43

I don't tip at all for all the reasons you said, I'm not even remotely ashamed of it

Soproudoflionesses · 06/09/2022 08:49

I am on tue fence with this - agree you shouldn't have to and l hate being told how much l should tip plus eating g out is so much more expensive that it used to be - bit if l don't tup, l feel mean.
Since covid, l use card more than cash and always check with the waiting staff that they get the money if l tip on card and if not, l don't leave one.

Thecarpetisbeige · 06/09/2022 08:50

2pinkginsplease · 06/09/2022 08:42

If I’ve had good service then I’ll tip. If I haven’t then I don’t. I worked in hospitality for 18years so have high standards for good customer service, a huge bugbear of mine is sloppy service,

I do however ask if the server gets to keep most of their tips (eg half to them,half to kitchen staff) then I tip well but if it’s all pulled and split at end of the month then I don’t tip much,

I want the people actually serving and making my food to get my tips.

the difference is the primark server only has each customer for a max of 3 mins whereas the the person working in the restaurant has to seat the customer, take drinks, give menus, tell them the specials, deliver drinks, take food order, set the table, deliver food, deal with any complaints, clear plates, try and upsell on sides and desserts while maintaining a happy smiley face for approx 60-90 minutes of service for each table.

Ive worked in both environments and hospitality is much harder to keep customers happy,

@2pinkginsplease what you outline above for the restaurant staff member i.e. seating customers, giving menus, delivering food/drink, would be in their job description, so they expect a tip just for doing the general duties of the role in which their employer gives them a wage?

OP posts:
badbaduncle · 06/09/2022 08:52

I usually tip. I've had some bad experiences recently though. One restaurant I London added a 20% service charge, which I questioned and the waiter told me he didn't get it anyway. I left about 10% in cash and the manager followed me into the street to argue with me 🤷‍♀️
I asked him if it was compulsory abs when he said no I took my cash tip back. Outrageous. The service had been shit!

999caffeineplease · 06/09/2022 08:52

I tip if I’ve had good service but generally only seem to go to places with better service - smaller, independent places over big chains.

I will say though - I know a lot of people in hospitality (&worked as a server myself through university) who would not work if it wasn’t for the tips. So while yes they are minimum wage earners, most wouldn’t consider the job if that’s all they were receiving.

Hospitality is crying out for staff and not getting many responses because the effort isn’t worth the reward, so tips go a good way to keeping the nice places running.

icelollycraving · 06/09/2022 08:53

I tip at the hairdresser but rarely go anymore. I tip a cab driver if they are particularly nice or help me with bags. I usually tip in restaurants unless the service is not good. I went to Zizzi last week, service ok but then paid by app and didn’t tip.

latetothefisting · 06/09/2022 08:55

Qwerkie · 06/09/2022 08:35

i tip when the service has been good. You aren’t obligated to tip but the generally accepted view is you’re tight if you don’t. The salesperson in primark only has to put up with customers for a couple of minutes at a time, serving staff have to put up with them for several hours each.

Not if they're on the tills, the sales person has 8-10 hours of constant customer contact then.

I agree op it's illogical. Most waiting staff, hairdressers, taxi drivers don't work any harder than shop assistants, hcps, carers, call centre staff etc so I've never seen the logic in tipping one and not the other. I would tip if someone goes genuinely above and beyond, and if that person was in a role where they couldn't accept tips always try to email in to give good feedback instead, but tbh most people rarely go out of their way to give any sort of outstanding service that warrants paying above their actual wage.

CanThisBe · 06/09/2022 08:56

I don't tip anyone any more. My haircut costs £53 for about 30 mins work. If the hairdresser isn't adequately paid, that's the employer's issue to fix.

The same with restaurants. A fairly ordinary meal for 4 people will cost £100 and you occupy the table for c. 1.5 hours. If everyone tips the "required" 10% they'll be on a huge hourly rate. Obviously not everyone does, but that's OK IMO.

I've also never understood why typing is normal for some staff and not others. What's the difference between a waiter and a shop assistant or a hairdresser and a HCP or a taxi driver and a bus driver?

Yogagrandmum · 06/09/2022 08:59

I don’t tip my hairdresser as she owns the salon, therefore she should pay herself properly.
I used to ‘fly’ and would have loved all the passengers to have tipped….

Yogagrandmum · 06/09/2022 09:00

I don’t tip my hairdresser as she owns the salon, therefore she should pay herself properly.
I used to ‘fly’ and would have loved all the passengers to have tipped….

Llamadrama2 · 06/09/2022 09:09

I was asked if I wanted to tip the staff when I ordered on the internet! Um...no, why would that be an option?

SavingsThreads · 06/09/2022 09:10

I don't tip anyone, but OP of course you're 'allowed' to tip in primark/retail!

Llamadrama2 · 06/09/2022 09:11

To clarify, it was a computer cable I was buying.

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