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AIBU?

AIBU in not tipping?

136 replies

Thecarpetisbeige · 06/09/2022 08:25

Here in the UK we have the national minimum wage laws so anyone working in a restaurant should be paid at least that. I get that it's not a lot of money (I'm not on much more myself) however I could go into a retail store, let's say Primark and a shop assistant could give me absolutely amazing customer service but I'm not allowed to tip her. That Primark staff member could be paid the same wage as a waitress serving me in a restaurant whose service is very basic i.e. taking a food/drink order and bringing the food to the table without a smile or any friendly chat, yet they expect a tip?

Years ago dining out used to be an experience, waiters/waitresses made chat with you, told jokes etc, really made your experience something extra special so I could maybe understand wanting to tip someone in those circumstances but there isn't a lot of that anymore. Most dining out in recent years is just someone taking your order and bringing it to your table (i.e. doing their job in which their employer pays them a wage).

I was having a chat with a colleague the other day and they said it's stingy not to tip but I just feel it's not necessary in the UK. In America a lot of states don't have any minimum wage requirements and so some American staff work solely on tips so tipping is sort of built into ther culture.

But in the UK there are loads of roles where people are paid the national minimum wage or just above but those specifically working in hospitality seem to expect tips.

AIBU in not wanting to pay tips?

OP posts:
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shiningstar2 · 06/09/2022 13:07

I usually tip unless the service is poor but I definitely don't care if someone is 'judging' me if I don't. I use a range of restaurants and hardly ever see a server twice. Complete stranger to me. If I haven't tipped it's because I have 'judged' the service/food to be poor. If that is the case maybe the owner should be looking at that and making his/her own judgements about his business. I don't think the server will worry about my judgement anymore than I would worry about theirs 😁

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Ilovechocolate87 · 06/09/2022 13:19

Not at all! I very rarely give tips...surely in this current climate most people can't afford to anyway?! Going out for a meal costs enough in itself, and the service is rarely exceptional nowadays, as many restaurants feel like a production line of customers.My parents have always got abit funny about the necessity of tipping, as it was more common in previous generations, but they have always been able to afford to do it.
Like you say OP, people in all different jobs get paid a standard wage, so why should one job command tips above another? You get good and bad service in many different places.
We felt pressured to tip on holiday in NY, which we did as understood the situation is different, but in Italy also they automatically put the service charge on and can get really funny if you don't pay it.
I hate how places like Prezzo do that aswell, and you have to ask for it to be taken off! Or some have the option on the card machines.It should not be expected, it should be a bonus.

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bodie1890 · 06/09/2022 13:45

Thecarpetisbeige · 06/09/2022 10:47

@Lyla82 people work antisocial hours in retail i.e. evenings/weekends (some even open on Christmas day i.e. retailers at petrol stations) and they have no option for tips? It would be very cheeky to assume being a waiter/waitress and following your job description without going above and beyond would earn you a tip...

You're comparing chalk and cheese. Retail and hospitality are different industries.

It's like comparing lawyers, doctors and teachers. They are different industries and work in different ways and have different pay. Teachers often get gifts from their pupils at the end of the school year, so why don't GPs regularly get gifts from their patients? Answer: It's just not the etiquette in that industry.

The etiquette is to tip in restaurants but not to tip in shops (generally speaking). People know that when they are deciding to apply for a job in a restaurant or in a shop.

Also, you don't have to tip. It's your choice.

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BonesOfWhatYouBelieve · 06/09/2022 13:48

YANBU. Especially in some restaurants now where you order and pay on an app, so only see the staff when they carry over the food.

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DobbyHasASock · 06/09/2022 13:52

Careworkers get minimum wage, unsociable hours, deal with abuse, death, bodily functions every day.

Why is a clap deemed a good enough tip for them but a restaurant worker who sees you once for your order, once when they ask if your food is ok and once for the bill get money?

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OneTC · 06/09/2022 13:58

nutellachurro · 06/09/2022 12:21

@Lyla82

Contrary to your opinion actual studies have been done on this and only 35% of Brits tip regularly

So no, most do not tip

The figure is actually 60%

Your figure is for people who always leave a tip regardless of service

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hotdiggetydog · 06/09/2022 15:07

You lot are that tight, I bet you squeak when you walk.

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Itsnotallblackandwhite · 06/09/2022 15:55

I'm one of the 60% who tips, but not the 35% who always tip.

I probably over tip tbh. I usually give a £1 to the delivery person who's bringing me a take-out in the pissing wind and rain. I tip hairdressers (but I don't go often). I usually tip if I get table service at a restaurant. If service is poor though I might not tip. Window cleaner gets an extra tenner at Christmas (he only charges me £3 for 5 windows bless him). Taxi driver was really helpful the other day - opened the door for me and helped me get an item of furniture in and out of his cab - he got a good tip. It does depend, but there usually has to be quite bad or rude service for me to not give a bit extra.

I do remember getting my hair cut in Australia in the 90's and I went to tip the hairdresser. My friend grabbed me and stopped me as it would have been a bit insulting apparently, so I know not to tip there.

Honestly, if I'm out with people and they refuse to tip, even when we've had great service, I do think it's a bit tight.

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Dreamstate · 06/09/2022 16:54

I am sure business owners would rather a family or group or people come to their restaurant to spend money on food and drinks because that's what they can afford to do, than basically think oh I can't really afford to leave a tip so lets not go out and eat because its embarrassing that I can't tip and will be judged for it.

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Nc12weeks · 06/09/2022 16:57

I always tip unless the service has been bad.

I don’t remember a time that serving staff had to ‘tell jokes….’

YABU

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ThickCutSteakChips · 06/09/2022 16:59

I hate tipping, largely because it brings out the Billy Big Bollocks in insecure people, usually blokes, who think that tipping loads says something positive about their personality. It's cringe and awkward and I would always rather just pay a set amount, rather than it be up to the individual to decide.

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Lyla82 · 06/09/2022 17:04

latetothefisting · 06/09/2022 12:16

All over the UK? In multiple different types of restaurants, bars, coffee shops etc?
Ok....very unusual for someone to have that wide ranging experience which presumably means moving jobs every few months but ok.

I didn't realise I was having an interview. If you give me your email address I'll pop you over my CV if you like?
No one was talking about bars or cafes. We were specifically talking about full service restaurants. And yes, when you manage units you do move around. You keep trying to prove my lack of knowledge, but you're just highlighting your own ignorance by doing so.
If you're too tight to tip then that's fine, I honestly don't care. The OP asked for opinions so I gave mine, end of story.

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DilemmaDelilah · 06/09/2022 17:47

We have had a few days away and been to a couple of restaurants in that time. The first was a well known carvery chain where we received exceptional service and we tipped very well. The other was a pub chain - we took 6 family members so we're a party of 8. The incorrect food was brought to us, the extra side we ordered wasn't brought at all, our dirty plates were not removed at all, the waitress did not bring any spoons with our desserts, she had long hair flapping all over her face and, quite frankly, looked as though she had absolutely no interest in being there. We did not leave a tip. So it all depends on circumstances and the service whether we do or not.

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DobbyHasASock · 06/09/2022 17:50

You call it too tight to tip, yet you are too tight to pay your staff (or fight for decent wages for them as their manager)
Hypocritical much.

And yes, those of us in harder jobs than hospitality resent paying tips when we are on minimum wage ourselves.
Very easy being Mr big bollocks when you are paid well, as I imagine managers are.

Bet you don't share those tips with the chef's or cleaners either.
Pay your staff.
End of.

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Ragwort · 06/09/2022 19:10

@FrankLampardsBrokenHand you must go to better restaurants than I do Grin

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Angelinflipflops · 06/09/2022 19:24

Tight as fuck not to tip

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mrstnov13 · 06/09/2022 19:25

Eating out is a rare treat for me and my family. I'll pay for the meal I'm eating thanks, can't afford to tip. I earn national minimum wage and get no extras. If that makes me cheap, that's fine with me.

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2pinkginsplease · 06/09/2022 19:30

Thecarpetisbeige · 06/09/2022 08:50

@2pinkginsplease what you outline above for the restaurant staff member i.e. seating customers, giving menus, delivering food/drink, would be in their job description, so they expect a tip just for doing the general duties of the role in which their employer gives them a wage?

Have you ever worked in hospitality?

I have I know how hard the staff work, hence why I tip.

I've worked in retail and hospitality is 100% harder. I appreciate good service.

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pawkins · 06/09/2022 19:57

DobbyHasASock · 06/09/2022 17:50

You call it too tight to tip, yet you are too tight to pay your staff (or fight for decent wages for them as their manager)
Hypocritical much.

And yes, those of us in harder jobs than hospitality resent paying tips when we are on minimum wage ourselves.
Very easy being Mr big bollocks when you are paid well, as I imagine managers are.

Bet you don't share those tips with the chef's or cleaners either.
Pay your staff.
End of.

Well said.

I’d be really interested in hearing what percentage those piping up using language including ‘cheap’/‘tight’ share with the cleaning staff??!

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TeacupDrama · 06/09/2022 20:44

i tip sometimes I do not tip at cafes in supermarkets garden centres costa fast food or any where for a quick coffee or where I collect my food and carry it to my table myself, a small independent cafe or restaurant where i get good service I will probably round up so 31.24 would be 35 but if I know staff don't get the tips or only so much of them. one place i know the staff get a share of £100 each week even when they know tips were closer to £300 so basically an extra tenner max it works out about 1.25 per table so i'm not leaving £5 when i know the waitress will only see £1

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TeacupDrama · 06/09/2022 20:55

and the waitress waiter gets tip but not the person scrubbing saucepans or washing glasses or peeling potatoes for hours beforehand

tipping is something that needs to disappear from our culture
especially when in some jobs liking caring accepting them is an offence or you have to declare it or anything worth about more than £10 to the CQC and anything over £50 is considered taxable

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Jalepenojello · 06/09/2022 20:59

Very rarely tip here…. Why people want to encourage a tipping culture in England I have no idea.

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Lyla82 · 06/09/2022 21:06

pawkins · 06/09/2022 19:57

Well said.

I’d be really interested in hearing what percentage those piping up using language including ‘cheap’/‘tight’ share with the cleaning staff??!

The cleaners I know earn £15 an hour, so £5.50 more per hour than waiting staff on minimum wage. Just some food for thought for you...

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EarlofShrewsbury · 06/09/2022 21:07

I don't normally tip, I work in a tipping industry and I don't expect anyone to tip me, I get a wage. I do get the odd couple of quid every now and then which is appreciated.

I did make an exception the other day though, I ordered some essentials from the Co op on deliveroo, we have 3 local all in opposite directions and me being a wally ordered from the one on the route of the massive factory at shift change time while temp lights were up. Took the poor guy 40 minutes to do what should be a 5 minute drive. He could have done another delivery or two in that time so I tipped him.

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DobbyHasASock · 06/09/2022 21:13

Lyla82 · 06/09/2022 21:06

The cleaners I know earn £15 an hour, so £5.50 more per hour than waiting staff on minimum wage. Just some food for thought for you...

Here's se professions that get minimum wage and no tip.
Are they less worthy of a tip?
Are you happy those in these professions subsidise the wages of those in catering, despite often being in higher responsibility roles.

Carer
Teaching assistant
Nursery nurse
Childminder
Healthcare assistant

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