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AIBU?

AIBU in not tipping?

136 replies

Thecarpetisbeige · 06/09/2022 08:25

Here in the UK we have the national minimum wage laws so anyone working in a restaurant should be paid at least that. I get that it's not a lot of money (I'm not on much more myself) however I could go into a retail store, let's say Primark and a shop assistant could give me absolutely amazing customer service but I'm not allowed to tip her. That Primark staff member could be paid the same wage as a waitress serving me in a restaurant whose service is very basic i.e. taking a food/drink order and bringing the food to the table without a smile or any friendly chat, yet they expect a tip?

Years ago dining out used to be an experience, waiters/waitresses made chat with you, told jokes etc, really made your experience something extra special so I could maybe understand wanting to tip someone in those circumstances but there isn't a lot of that anymore. Most dining out in recent years is just someone taking your order and bringing it to your table (i.e. doing their job in which their employer pays them a wage).

I was having a chat with a colleague the other day and they said it's stingy not to tip but I just feel it's not necessary in the UK. In America a lot of states don't have any minimum wage requirements and so some American staff work solely on tips so tipping is sort of built into ther culture.

But in the UK there are loads of roles where people are paid the national minimum wage or just above but those specifically working in hospitality seem to expect tips.

AIBU in not wanting to pay tips?

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shazzybazzy34 · 06/09/2022 09:50

I Always, Always, Always tip for good service, be it food, hair, nails, taxi etc.

So many tight feckers here. I would actually DIE getting up and leaving a restaurant that I had a good meal in and leaving the exact money. Scabby as fuck.

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10HailMarys · 06/09/2022 09:51

I pretty much always tip in restaurants and I usually round up a taxi fare. If I went on a date with someone and they refused to tip in a restaurant I would find it off-putting.

I don't tip my hairdresser because she's the salon director.

Ultimately it's up to you - people's opinions will always differ on this. There's no definitive answer.

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FrankLampardsBrokenHand · 06/09/2022 09:51

@Ragwort I can't remember the last time I was wearing a coat or jacket and the waiter didn't offer to either help me out of it and take it, or just take it. Its definitely the norm to me!

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KatherineJaneway · 06/09/2022 09:52

I would only not tip if the service was very poor.

@Thecarpetisbeige Do you ask for the service charge that is automatically added at some restaurants to be removed?

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Lyla82 · 06/09/2022 09:57

You should always tip in a restaurant unless the service has been horrendous. Waiting staff in the UK rely on their tips.

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DangerNoodles · 06/09/2022 10:02

I'm on minimum wage myself so no I don't tip. On a meal that costs £50, a 10% tip would have taken me half an hour to earn.

I once worked as bar staff in a restaurant, I was often busier than the waitresses but never got tips, same for the pot washers, chefs assistants etc. Why only some service providers and not others?

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shiningstar2 · 06/09/2022 10:03

There is a place I like to eat but it has a 12.5% service charge. This means that if I treat myself to something more expensive than usual having it cooked and carried over costs more, even if it's something simple to cook. It also adds the ,12.5% to every drink and it can come to more than I would tip. Of I'm uncomfortable with the amount I ask for it to be reduced and I give a figure I'm happy with. I think they rely on people not wanting to do this. I think 12.5% for a tip already added, not chosen by you for amazing service, is a bit cheeky of the company.

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nutellachurro · 06/09/2022 10:03

Lyla82 · 06/09/2022 09:57

You should always tip in a restaurant unless the service has been horrendous. Waiting staff in the UK rely on their tips.

How do they rely on their tips when they're earning what many others do without the option for tips?

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WhatATimeToBeAlive · 06/09/2022 10:04

YANBU, and it annoys me when it automatically gets added to the bill. If they want more money, just add it to the menu prices and let us decide to leave a tip or not.

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Lyla82 · 06/09/2022 10:20

nutellachurro · 06/09/2022 10:03

How do they rely on their tips when they're earning what many others do without the option for tips?

Because they specifically choose to be waiting staff so that they can earn tips as well as their minimum wage. No one chooses to be a waitress/waiter with all the antisocial hours and physical demands to just earn minimum wage when they could earn that working in a shop or supermarket! They do it for their tips.
Tipping is part of the cost of eating out and should be factored in.

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WaltzingWaters · 06/09/2022 10:22

YANBU. I work in care with challenging behaviour. Barely above minimum wage with a fairly high chance of having to deal with being bitten, hit, pushed etc. I’m not allowed to accept tips offered by their family.
I will tip waiting staff for exceptional service. But that is quite rare these days with app ordering or a lot of places seem to be all hands on deck, so different staff serving throughout the meal rather than one. And also always pay by card now, so it’s rare the waiter actually gets the tip, the owners keep it. So I’d rather tip cash if I do tip, but that requires me remembering to take cash to a restaurant.

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nutellachurro · 06/09/2022 10:26

@Lyla82

More fool them then for choosing a job for a non guaranteed tip

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ClocksGoingBackwards · 06/09/2022 10:28

When people tip automatically with no thought to the level of service they have received, they are undermining those workers that make the effort to provide good service.

A tip should be in recognition of someone going above and beyond, not something that is given or expected just for doing the basics.

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Lyla82 · 06/09/2022 10:30

nutellachurro · 06/09/2022 10:26

@Lyla82

More fool them then for choosing a job for a non guaranteed tip

I think you'll find that the majority of people do tip. It's a minority of tight people that are happy to embarrass themselves by having a nice meal and walking out that restaurant without leaving a penny.

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Thecarpetisbeige · 06/09/2022 10:35

Lyla82 · 06/09/2022 09:57

You should always tip in a restaurant unless the service has been horrendous. Waiting staff in the UK rely on their tips.

@Lyla82 what about others who earn the same base salary/hourly rate as waiting staff and who have no opportunity to get tips? Do waiting staff expect tips just for doing their job?

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Thecarpetisbeige · 06/09/2022 10:37

KatherineJaneway · 06/09/2022 09:52

I would only not tip if the service was very poor.

@Thecarpetisbeige Do you ask for the service charge that is automatically added at some restaurants to be removed?

@KatherineJaneway luckily I haven't come across this at any of the restaurants I've been to. I would find that really rude and presumptious of the owner/company to assume their staff are going above and beyond normal duties, it would be for the customer to decide that surely?

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undernotover · 06/09/2022 10:42

I will say though - I know a lot of people in hospitality (&worked as a server myself through university) who would not work if it wasn’t for the tips. So while yes they are minimum wage earners, most wouldn’t consider the job if that’s all they were receiving.

Hospitality is crying out for staff and not getting many responses because the effort isn’t worth the reward, so tips go a good way to keeping the nice places running.

This hits the nail on the head for me. At university I worked in hospitality rather than a supermarket/shop because of the tips. You think I wanted the 2/3am finishes, dealing with clearing up peoples gross half eaten food/drink (which always inevitably ended up on the floor/table/seats), heavy lifting, coming home sticky covered in cocktail ingredients every night? The list of gross tasks goes on. I did it for the extra tips (and specifically chose a bar/restaurant that was independent and slightly higher end rather than a bog standard pizza express so I'd get them). If people had consistently not tipped I and the other staff all would've left.

And it was always consistently the people who didn't tip who were also the most demanding, made the most mess, spoke to me like I was less than them, and acted like any task (including picking up things they'd knocked over so I could clean the remaining mess) was below them. So yes, I did judge 99% of the non tippers. Because it seemed to come from a place of superiority and contempt for me.

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Lyla82 · 06/09/2022 10:44

Thecarpetisbeige · 06/09/2022 10:35

@Lyla82 what about others who earn the same base salary/hourly rate as waiting staff and who have no opportunity to get tips? Do waiting staff expect tips just for doing their job?

See my earlier response to Nutella. They choose to be waiting staff despite antisocial hours and physical demands because they will get tips. Most people would not choose to work evenings/weekends/Christmas day for minimum wage, they do it for their tips.
You can try to justify your view all you like, but tipping is the accepted social etiquette and by not doing so, you look tight.

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Lyla82 · 06/09/2022 10:45

undernotover · 06/09/2022 10:42

I will say though - I know a lot of people in hospitality (&worked as a server myself through university) who would not work if it wasn’t for the tips. So while yes they are minimum wage earners, most wouldn’t consider the job if that’s all they were receiving.

Hospitality is crying out for staff and not getting many responses because the effort isn’t worth the reward, so tips go a good way to keeping the nice places running.

This hits the nail on the head for me. At university I worked in hospitality rather than a supermarket/shop because of the tips. You think I wanted the 2/3am finishes, dealing with clearing up peoples gross half eaten food/drink (which always inevitably ended up on the floor/table/seats), heavy lifting, coming home sticky covered in cocktail ingredients every night? The list of gross tasks goes on. I did it for the extra tips (and specifically chose a bar/restaurant that was independent and slightly higher end rather than a bog standard pizza express so I'd get them). If people had consistently not tipped I and the other staff all would've left.

And it was always consistently the people who didn't tip who were also the most demanding, made the most mess, spoke to me like I was less than them, and acted like any task (including picking up things they'd knocked over so I could clean the remaining mess) was below them. So yes, I did judge 99% of the non tippers. Because it seemed to come from a place of superiority and contempt for me.

100% this!

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MintyGreenDreams · 06/09/2022 10:46

I don't tip in this country but I will on holiday.
We went to Egypt this year and the guy who worked in the pool area worked 12 hour shifts 7 days a week and only saw his family for a few days every 10 weeks.He worked so hard and was so friendly.
He deserved to be tipped.

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nutellachurro · 06/09/2022 10:46

@Lyla82

"They choose to be waiting staff despite antisocial hours and physical demands because they will get tips"

No, they might get tips

If people have made a career choice based on tips that's a bit silly

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Thecarpetisbeige · 06/09/2022 10:47

Lyla82 · 06/09/2022 10:44

See my earlier response to Nutella. They choose to be waiting staff despite antisocial hours and physical demands because they will get tips. Most people would not choose to work evenings/weekends/Christmas day for minimum wage, they do it for their tips.
You can try to justify your view all you like, but tipping is the accepted social etiquette and by not doing so, you look tight.

@Lyla82 people work antisocial hours in retail i.e. evenings/weekends (some even open on Christmas day i.e. retailers at petrol stations) and they have no option for tips? It would be very cheeky to assume being a waiter/waitress and following your job description without going above and beyond would earn you a tip...

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VictoriaConcordiaCrescit · 06/09/2022 10:47

It's very rare for us to tip

They are paid to do the job anyway

I don't tip the person on the checkout at Tesco either

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Bogofftosomewherehot · 06/09/2022 10:51

I'm old school - I tip in restaurants, cabs, hairdressers, delivery drivers, buy a drink for bar staff and every year our bin men know they'll get £20 and a crate of beer.

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pawkins · 06/09/2022 10:52

I stopped tipping a few years ago.
If I (and other non tippers) didn’t do business in the restaurants/hairdressers, the people working there wouldn’t have jobs. If they aren’t happy with the wages, don’t work there. If the employers don’t want to pay them more, let the businesses shut down.
It really isn’t up to customers to throw cash at other people’s employees. If I was so eager to want to pay oriole’s wages, I’d open my own restaurant.
It really is that simple and Ive worked in many minimum wage jobs myself.

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