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AIBU?

AIBU in not tipping?

136 replies

Thecarpetisbeige · 06/09/2022 08:25

Here in the UK we have the national minimum wage laws so anyone working in a restaurant should be paid at least that. I get that it's not a lot of money (I'm not on much more myself) however I could go into a retail store, let's say Primark and a shop assistant could give me absolutely amazing customer service but I'm not allowed to tip her. That Primark staff member could be paid the same wage as a waitress serving me in a restaurant whose service is very basic i.e. taking a food/drink order and bringing the food to the table without a smile or any friendly chat, yet they expect a tip?

Years ago dining out used to be an experience, waiters/waitresses made chat with you, told jokes etc, really made your experience something extra special so I could maybe understand wanting to tip someone in those circumstances but there isn't a lot of that anymore. Most dining out in recent years is just someone taking your order and bringing it to your table (i.e. doing their job in which their employer pays them a wage).

I was having a chat with a colleague the other day and they said it's stingy not to tip but I just feel it's not necessary in the UK. In America a lot of states don't have any minimum wage requirements and so some American staff work solely on tips so tipping is sort of built into ther culture.

But in the UK there are loads of roles where people are paid the national minimum wage or just above but those specifically working in hospitality seem to expect tips.

AIBU in not wanting to pay tips?

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caringcarer · 06/09/2022 10:57

I tip postman, bin men and dog groomer at Xmas. I don't go hair dresser for hair trim often but leave £2-3 extra. I tip in restaurants £5 on a £30 meal. I don't tip in Witherspoon's as pay on app. I don't tip in taxis if drivers go deliberately a long way round or drive very slowly for no reason other than making meter go higher. They infuriate me.

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Lyla82 · 06/09/2022 11:15

nutellachurro · 06/09/2022 10:46

@Lyla82

"They choose to be waiting staff despite antisocial hours and physical demands because they will get tips"

No, they might get tips

If people have made a career choice based on tips that's a bit silly

As I said before, it's only the minority of tight people who are happy to embarrass themselves and not tip. Most people do tip, contrary to MN!

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Lyla82 · 06/09/2022 11:18

Thecarpetisbeige · 06/09/2022 10:47

@Lyla82 people work antisocial hours in retail i.e. evenings/weekends (some even open on Christmas day i.e. retailers at petrol stations) and they have no option for tips? It would be very cheeky to assume being a waiter/waitress and following your job description without going above and beyond would earn you a tip...

It's not cheeky, it is what it is. You tip in a restaurant. It's good social etiquette. If you choose not to then that's your choice, but trust me, they are judging you for it.

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GlitteryGreen · 06/09/2022 11:19

I usually tip in restaurants unless the service has been really bad or slow, but this is usually dependent on whether we actually have any cash with us.

I'd usually always include a tip on the card machine if given the option but so many just skip past that - I guess either through embarrassment or preferring cash - and it leaves us in a position where we don't have anything to leave.

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latetothefisting · 06/09/2022 11:24

Lyla82 · 06/09/2022 11:15

As I said before, it's only the minority of tight people who are happy to embarrass themselves and not tip. Most people do tip, contrary to MN!

And you are basing this conclusion on your exhaustive survey of all 70million people in the UK?
Or perhaps actually on your very limited experience.....

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Thecarpetisbeige · 06/09/2022 11:25

Lyla82 · 06/09/2022 11:18

It's not cheeky, it is what it is. You tip in a restaurant. It's good social etiquette. If you choose not to then that's your choice, but trust me, they are judging you for it.

@Lyla82 they can judge me if they want but if they're not coming to my work to tip me then I don't really see why I should care...

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JasonWaterfalls · 06/09/2022 11:27

So many places like restaurants add ten percent service charge anyway I tend not to tip those and tip non-service charge bills when the service has been good, don’t know if I’ve misunderstood service charge now, I thought that was a tip!!?

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Dreamstate · 06/09/2022 11:30

After a few trips to some restaurants (not chains) post pandemic I have just stopped going out and eating, service is shockingly bad/ slow and food mediocre.

And I for one do not care if you judge me for not tipped - who even knows other than the waitress/ hairdresser that you don't tip and I for one do not care what other people who are effectively strangers to me think of me

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pawkins · 06/09/2022 11:38

Such emotive language is being used - you will be judged/embarrassed for you etc. A service is a business transaction. People pay the set charge for the service required. End of.

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Danielle9891 · 06/09/2022 11:41

You are being unreasonable, but English people are know for not tipping all over the world. (I'm originally from England and have worked in Australia, new Zealand, America, Spain and Ireland)

I work in a restaurant in N.Ireland and make around £5-20 in tips a day. I wouldn't be able to continuing working in the restaurant trade without them.

We work fewer shifts in the winter and split shifts is normal for us, such as 11-2 for lunch and 5-9 ect. It's not a normal 9-5 job.

I would work around 30/40 hours during the summer and I'm lucky if I get 10 hours in October - November and January - April.

Because of people getting less and less hours now people aren't going out as much the restaurant I work at will be closing monday-wednesday starting next week.

Not sure what I'm going to do as public transport is really bad where I live and I don't drive.

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Dotjones · 06/09/2022 11:44

If you choose not to then that's your choice, but trust me, they are judging you for it.

I'm happy not to tip people who are judgemental.

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Jamaisy82 · 06/09/2022 11:46

I agree with not tipping. Why do we always feel the need to in restaurants etc. Its unfair on people in retail or working anywhere that get paid minimum wage and don't get tipped when they work just as hard. It's just not nessesary.

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Lyla82 · 06/09/2022 11:49

latetothefisting · 06/09/2022 11:24

And you are basing this conclusion on your exhaustive survey of all 70million people in the UK?
Or perhaps actually on your very limited experience.....

It's based on 20 years experience in the hospitality industry.

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ErmagerdtheQuern · 06/09/2022 11:50

Thecarpetisbeige · 06/09/2022 11:25

@Lyla82 they can judge me if they want but if they're not coming to my work to tip me then I don't really see why I should care...

Then why start this thread?

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Lyla82 · 06/09/2022 11:50

Dotjones · 06/09/2022 11:44

If you choose not to then that's your choice, but trust me, they are judging you for it.

I'm happy not to tip people who are judgemental.

😂😂😂
I wish I was so principled.

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Lyla82 · 06/09/2022 11:52

Thecarpetisbeige · 06/09/2022 11:25

@Lyla82 they can judge me if they want but if they're not coming to my work to tip me then I don't really see why I should care...

That's fine, it's your choice. But you asked for people's views and you got them.

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mrsfoof · 06/09/2022 11:54

YANBU. I only tip if the service is exceptional. Normally it's mediocre at best so I rarely tip.

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latetothefisting · 06/09/2022 12:16

Lyla82 · 06/09/2022 11:49

It's based on 20 years experience in the hospitality industry.

All over the UK? In multiple different types of restaurants, bars, coffee shops etc?
Ok....very unusual for someone to have that wide ranging experience which presumably means moving jobs every few months but ok.

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blebbleb · 06/09/2022 12:19

I like to tip and feel mean if I don't but each to their own.

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nutellachurro · 06/09/2022 12:21

@Lyla82

Contrary to your opinion actual studies have been done on this and only 35% of Brits tip regularly

So no, most do not tip

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Thecarpetisbeige · 06/09/2022 12:44

Jamaisy82 · 06/09/2022 11:46

I agree with not tipping. Why do we always feel the need to in restaurants etc. Its unfair on people in retail or working anywhere that get paid minimum wage and don't get tipped when they work just as hard. It's just not nessesary.

@Jamaisy82 exactly this!

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KatherineJaneway · 06/09/2022 12:48

Thecarpetisbeige · 06/09/2022 10:37

@KatherineJaneway luckily I haven't come across this at any of the restaurants I've been to. I would find that really rude and presumptious of the owner/company to assume their staff are going above and beyond normal duties, it would be for the customer to decide that surely?

Interesting, I rarely eat in restaurants that don't add service to the bill.

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CornishGem1975 · 06/09/2022 12:52

I stopped tipping during the pandemic and have never returned to it. I don't really care whether I am judged or not, why would I? I don't know them from Jeff. If I've had outstanding service or someone has gone above and beyond I'd probably tip, but just for doing what they're paid to do? Nope.

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CCC11 · 06/09/2022 12:56

I live in Australia and we don't tip. They get paid enough as it is

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OneTC · 06/09/2022 12:57

CCC11 · 06/09/2022 12:56

I live in Australia and we don't tip. They get paid enough as it is

YOU don't tip.

Tipping is common in Australia

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