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AIBU in not tipping?

136 replies

Thecarpetisbeige · 06/09/2022 08:25

Here in the UK we have the national minimum wage laws so anyone working in a restaurant should be paid at least that. I get that it's not a lot of money (I'm not on much more myself) however I could go into a retail store, let's say Primark and a shop assistant could give me absolutely amazing customer service but I'm not allowed to tip her. That Primark staff member could be paid the same wage as a waitress serving me in a restaurant whose service is very basic i.e. taking a food/drink order and bringing the food to the table without a smile or any friendly chat, yet they expect a tip?

Years ago dining out used to be an experience, waiters/waitresses made chat with you, told jokes etc, really made your experience something extra special so I could maybe understand wanting to tip someone in those circumstances but there isn't a lot of that anymore. Most dining out in recent years is just someone taking your order and bringing it to your table (i.e. doing their job in which their employer pays them a wage).

I was having a chat with a colleague the other day and they said it's stingy not to tip but I just feel it's not necessary in the UK. In America a lot of states don't have any minimum wage requirements and so some American staff work solely on tips so tipping is sort of built into ther culture.

But in the UK there are loads of roles where people are paid the national minimum wage or just above but those specifically working in hospitality seem to expect tips.

AIBU in not wanting to pay tips?

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 06/09/2022 09:11

I always tip in restaurants unless service has been horrendously bad

I would think anyone not tipping was cheap tbh

SanFranBear · 06/09/2022 09:16

I tip everyone - always in restaurants (ex-waitress), usually on delivery apps, my hairdresser, taxi drivers...

Not sure why but I like to make people feel a bit happier, I guess, and a tip is just another way to say thank you. And given its not as common these days, it's also sometimes a nice surprise for them?

I'm not loaded by any stretch of the imagination and eating out, Ubers and my hair are treats for me so I always factor a tip in as part of the overall cost. Its never megabucks either.

Each to their own and there are lots of valid reasons why not to tip, but I just like it.

DobbyHasASock · 06/09/2022 09:16

SavingsThreads · 06/09/2022 09:10

I don't tip anyone, but OP of course you're 'allowed' to tip in primark/retail!

It was a sackable action to accept a tip when I worked in retail I doubt it has change.
And yes op, tipping is unfair on other minimum wage workers like me, and encourages employ3rs not to pay staff properly.

OneTC · 06/09/2022 09:18

Why do people think you aren't allowed to tip people in shops? It's a fairly regular occurrence in ours.

We always put it in the charity box though

SanFranBear · 06/09/2022 09:19

Also ex- bar staff and I often buy people serving me in pubs, a drink... I used to love finishing my shift and having a 'free' drink with which to end my day and I think tipping with money in bars is a little odd.

Mybeautifulfriend22 · 06/09/2022 09:22

Sometimes I tip sometimes I don’t. I don’t really overthink it but if someone is giving genuinely good service I’m more likely to

To be honest I’d rather not have staff trying to tell me jokes and be over friendly when I’m out for meals anyway. It feels fake and when it’s forced you can tell! Polite, helpful and natural service with a smile that will do!

Thecarpetisbeige · 06/09/2022 09:22

OneTC · 06/09/2022 09:18

Why do people think you aren't allowed to tip people in shops? It's a fairly regular occurrence in ours.

We always put it in the charity box though

Agree with @DobbyHasASock comment further up, I worked in a few retail places and it was a sackable offence to accept a tip. My brother still works in retail and it is the same with his employer too. Maybe it's different for small independent shops as opposed to big retail giants?

OP posts:
LumpyandBumps · 06/09/2022 09:22

I nearly always tip unless service has been poor, but accept it is mostly a matter of habit.

In a restaurant for example the experience can be really enhanced by pleasant waiting staff, as opposed to just taking an order and plonking down plates of food.

I now avoid places where a ‘discretionary’ service charge is routinely applied.

If the restaurant thinks it’s staff should be paid a 10-15% surcharge it should amend the prices and deal with any loss of custom.

Yes I know I can ask for this sort of charge to be removed, but I just don’t want that sort of interaction after what is meant to be a pleasant experience.

FuncaMunca · 06/09/2022 09:27

I happily tip for good service, which I value.

But in my experience, not all establishments in the UK expect significant (or any) tips as a matter of course. One pub owner confessed to me that he was embarrassed about asking for tips..

Whereas in America/Canada obviously there is a universal expectation that you will tip at least 15-20% and if you don't, they will challenge you. I was once chased out the door by a staff member as I left a restaurant having forgotten to tip on the bill, as if it were akin to stealing...

FrankLampardsBrokenHand · 06/09/2022 09:28

I tip wherever I receive a personal service. If the level of service is shit, I don't tip. Someone serving me at the till isn't providing me with a personal service, but a personal shopper would be. Someone who serves me at the counter at Costa isn't providing a personal service but a waiter who seats me, talks me through the menu, takes my coat, makes recommendations, checks in to see if there's anything I need and brings my order has provided a personal service.

That's how I make the distinction.

I'd think low of somebody who didn't tip in a restaurant unless the experience was bad.

Ragwort · 06/09/2022 09:30

I think (sadly) a lot of people don't understand what really good customer service in hospitality is ... it's absolutely not just 'taking your order and delivering the food'. I trained in customer service as part of a Hospitality Course over 40 years ago Grin - yes I know that makes me a dinosaur! I loathe going out to eat and being 'served' (if you can call it that ) by someone who's opening line is 'are you all right there?', has no idea of the menu etc etc. I am very happy to tip when I receive great service ... but I rarely eat out these days as so few places offer good service (Cote Brassiere - at least the one near me - does seem to consistently offer outstanding service).

Ragwort · 06/09/2022 09:32

FrankLampard - how often does anyone offer to take your coat theses days? Grin
Lucky if there is even hook to put a coat on!

shiningstar2 · 06/09/2022 09:33

I tip in restaurants, hairdresser and taxi. Do others tip the taxi driver these days I'm wondering 🤔

Mollymoofer · 06/09/2022 09:34

I always tip for service in cafes and restaurants. Service would have to be really bad for me not to. Dealing with the public day in, day out takes its toll, especially these days post covid - folk are really clinging on with their finger tips and I like to try to improve situations a little bit if I can.

I would think it mean not to do that tbh.

I tend not to tip hairdressers unless they’ve got a young trainee washing my hair. Have been known to drop off a bottle at Xmas though.

hotdiggetydog · 06/09/2022 09:34

Always tip.

Outrageous and tight not to.

oopsfellover · 06/09/2022 09:36

I don’t feel obliged to tip. I sometimes do tip in restaurants and taxis, but if I don’t, I don’t.

tune · 06/09/2022 09:37

I very rarely tip but the few times I've been out lately I've noticed nearly all the places added a service charge to the bill. It really annoys me to be honest because I don't feel like you can ask for it to be taken off and if I am tipping I would prefer to give cash.

Toddlerteaplease · 06/09/2022 09:38

I don't tip any thing.

AthenaPopodopolous · 06/09/2022 09:38

I think it’s always good to tip an employed hairdresser as they’re usually on low wages and have to pay for tools like their scissors, brushes, dryers, clippers and electrical tools put their own pocket.
And the same for service staff in restaurants really as it’s custom to do so really. Same for hotel staff that make your experience good.

savehannah · 06/09/2022 09:40

I rarely tip for anything. Businesses should pay their staff appropriately.

starbaby858 · 06/09/2022 09:42

People that think you’re tight for not tipping are honestly mad😂 why am I tipping you for doing your job?

I NEVER tip for all the reasons you’ve stated OP. I never feel like someone goes over and beyond to make me feel as if I should tip. Taking your order, making conversation, bringing your food and bringing the bill is all included in the job role no? So why would I tip?

The only time I’ve tipped recently is when I’ve been to the same restaurant three times in a year and the waiter has been the same person everytime. He’s always polite despite being so busy and never rushes anyone when taking our order. I tipped him £5 and that’s a very rare occurrence.

Deciding not to tip someone for simply doing their job and being called tight because of it, is insane to me

starbaby858 · 06/09/2022 09:43

tune · 06/09/2022 09:37

I very rarely tip but the few times I've been out lately I've noticed nearly all the places added a service charge to the bill. It really annoys me to be honest because I don't feel like you can ask for it to be taken off and if I am tipping I would prefer to give cash.

I ask for service charge to be taken off every time. Never had any issues with it🤷‍♀️


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oldstudentmum · 06/09/2022 09:46

I don’t tip unless Christmas and to the hairdresser. To be fair retail staff put up with a lot of unpleasant people. My son works in primark omg the stuff he says baffles me someone had pooped in the changing room an adult.

Meseekslookatme · 06/09/2022 09:48

I don't tip any more.
It's rare to get service that actually deserves it.

MyneighbourisTotoro · 06/09/2022 09:50


I don’t tip anyone and I really hate it when restaurants add a mandatory service charge.

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