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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this dress "slutty"? (Their words not mine)

193 replies

PyongyangKipperbang · 05/09/2022 15:57

I ask because, in MNspeak, a "close female relative" described it as such.

For context this is not my normal attire, I am currently wearing black skinnies and a Def Leppard Tshirt! But I have been invited to a "Come as you were" fancy dress party. I didnt really have a clue what to wear and was toying with going out and out silly and wearing something a 1970's little girl might wear when I found this for £6 in TKMaxx. Big hair, make up put on with a trowel, heels, more make up and enough perfume to kill an elephant....job done, clubbing early 90's me! Not that I did much clubbing but ya know, artistic licence!

She says that it would look ok on either of older two daughters as they are early twenties but it is "inappropriate and slutty on a woman of your age". I told her it was fancy dress and a laugh but she is deeply disapproving. In hindsight, me saying "Oh good, perhaps I'll pull then" to the slutty comment wasnt the best thing I could have said!

So....AIBU to wear it?

OP posts:
Tabitha005 · 05/09/2022 16:40

The nature of the party and the outfit you've described sound perfectly appropriate. 'Slutty' is often a word used in an attempt to censure women from wearing certain types of clothing and, frankly, it stinks.

Washermother33 · 05/09/2022 16:42

I think your mums wrong - but it’s not 90s … I remember jeans and those body con tops and short skirts and huge tops and DMs and everything black

AryaStarkWolf · 05/09/2022 16:45

It looks great on you, go for it!

Whichwhatnow · 05/09/2022 16:46

Mistymountain · 05/09/2022 16:35

Yes! Your new suggestion re mangled rock, fishnets, tattoos sounds great

This is along the lines of what I'd wear. Maybe a tartan miniskirt with an oversized cut off band t-shirt and fishnets with platforms or DMs.

theknave · 05/09/2022 16:46

It's the way it goes up at one side that makes it look not exactly slutty but a bit cheap and nasty. If you had a tan then you might get away with it but not with white legs - it's the white legs that ruin it. The cleavage is fine (very nice in fact!) but that side bit doesn't work without a tan. (Obviously the fact that it's for a fancy dress thing makes it all irrelevant anyway)

theknave · 05/09/2022 16:48

Whichwhatnow · 05/09/2022 16:46

This is along the lines of what I'd wear. Maybe a tartan miniskirt with an oversized cut off band t-shirt and fishnets with platforms or DMs.

Show quote history

Much better idea. Then you'll definitely be wearing fancy dress and won't have people wondering if you've not read that bit and that's your 'I'm on the pull' get up....

AchatAVendre · 05/09/2022 16:48

What does your mother think fancy dress is? Limited to Sunday School outfits?

tbh its not radical enough, I think lurid purple of lime green might be better!

Original poster
PyongyangKipperbang · 05/09/2022 16:49

I think I am coming round to the rock chick idea!

I know for a start that I would be more comfortable in that.

OP posts:
Beezknees · 05/09/2022 16:49

"Slutty" is a misogynistic term used by misogynists.

Beezknees · 05/09/2022 16:50

theknave · 05/09/2022 16:46

It's the way it goes up at one side that makes it look not exactly slutty but a bit cheap and nasty. If you had a tan then you might get away with it but not with white legs - it's the white legs that ruin it. The cleavage is fine (very nice in fact!) but that side bit doesn't work without a tan. (Obviously the fact that it's for a fancy dress thing makes it all irrelevant anyway)

What a load of bollocks. Why the hell should people have to hide their natural skin colour?

Notimeforaname · 05/09/2022 16:50

You look great in it Kipper ! Hope you have a fabulous time .

Glittertwins · 05/09/2022 16:51

That's seriously tame for "slutty" if you were around rock and metal clubs in the 90s, there's just no comparison. I can't see what is wrong with it at all. If you like it and are comfortable, wear it. It fits your figure perfectly!

Notimeforaname · 05/09/2022 16:51

but that side bit doesn't work without a tan.

I also agree this is bollox. The colour of her skin has fuck all to do with it. What a strange comment 🤣

Chikapu · 05/09/2022 16:52

theknave · 05/09/2022 16:46

It's the way it goes up at one side that makes it look not exactly slutty but a bit cheap and nasty. If you had a tan then you might get away with it but not with white legs - it's the white legs that ruin it. The cleavage is fine (very nice in fact!) but that side bit doesn't work without a tan. (Obviously the fact that it's for a fancy dress thing makes it all irrelevant anyway)

I don't recall people in the early 90s being bright orange.

BadNomad · 05/09/2022 16:54

It goes well with your phone cover.

MoistBandana · 05/09/2022 16:55

PyongyangKipperbang · 05/09/2022 15:59

Photo would be useful wouldnt it?!

You look amazing.
What a figure..

OldFan · 05/09/2022 16:55

YANBU it's supposed to be representing how you were in the 90s when you may've been about your daughter's age.

They sound rude.

I don't think it's slutty anyway, the floral pattern seems quite demure for 90s young people.

TooMuchToDoTooLittleInclination · 05/09/2022 16:56

Ignore your mother!

you could wear that style ordinarily, you still have the figure for it - enjoy your figure while you still have it!!

WonderingWanda · 05/09/2022 16:56

It looks great and not at all slutty. If I had a figure like yours I would wear clothes like that more often!

Jengnr · 05/09/2022 16:57

I don’t think it’s slutty enough tbh.

Short black dress (or skirt with band tee), backcombed hair, lots of eyeliner and lipstick with fishnets and heels or docs and you’ve nailed it.

Suzi888 · 05/09/2022 16:57

You look great! Go for it!

Jengnr · 05/09/2022 16:57

It looks ace on you btw, but not for this do.

OldFan · 05/09/2022 16:57

I don't recall people wearing florals for a night out much.

But I was a goth really. :)

IcakethereforeIam · 05/09/2022 16:58

You look lovely. If the theme is 'come as you were', I'd be tempted to go as Kurt Cobain!
My daughter loves Def Leppard, makes me feel happy...and old.

Hoppinggreen · 05/09/2022 16:59

I actually don’t like it BUT it isn’t slutty and you do look good in it