Patronising MN replies that people pretend are sincere…

[Itsbadbitchoclockyeahitsthickthirty]

I’ll go first:

”Are you very young OP?”

‘I feel sorry for you’
’you have ocd’
’you need help’
😬😂

I agree they might mean it like that but is mentioning your amazing partner to someone unhappy, lonely or trying to find someone that helpful? I dunno - I am genuinely single by choice and those comments just ring so untrue - they are basically saying I'd be single too if i didn't have someone amazing who loves me. I don't believe 'em, think it's an attempt at stealth boasting. Like my 'mate' saying she'd just love a house like mine...if only she didn't have so many things, friends and visitors

Agreed. Some OPs are so cryptic and sparse with information. How can we help them if they say for example "I confronted him about it". And.... leaves it hanging there? The fact we even have to ask what he said shows that the OP is not giving us the information.

For me it's the "what were you doing snooping in your husband's phone" as if a) phones are meant to be private things - it's not with my husband and I, we don't have secrets and share our phones, until Mumsnet I thought everyone did! and b) it's a form of victim-blaming by saying the 'crime' of snooping in her own spouse's phone is a much worse sin than having an affair/spending all family money on motels/other woman and possibly exposing the OP to an STI.

My absolute favourite is when the OP posts that she's lonely and would like a partner. She adds that she has friends, hobbies and has tried lots of things but nothings worked and she is feeling a bit crap.

Someone then pipes up 'I loved being single, before I met DP and had 5 kids I had a lovely time'. If it was that good, why did you change it!!!

Also 'I'd love some peace and freedom' Again, you chose to give that up. OP wants what she wants.

If being single was so great, why did all these posters give it up? And I'm happily single by choice so I know it's great but it's the hypocrisy that annoys me!

For me it's the "what were you doing snooping in your husband's phone" as if a) phones are meant to be private things

They are.

True, however point b) is accurate. You get 10 posters chiming in with 'why did you snoop. So controlling and insecure' after the DH has refused sex for a year and been having an affair

Not in a marriage. At least not outside of Mumsnet.

I also hate:

Consultant here.
Teacher here
Lawyer here
Doctor here

I mean there's nothing wrong with it really but it just irks me. IDK why!!! Maybe they could say.. 'I'm a lawyer and this is my take on it...' It just annoys me!

@forlornlorna1 · Today 15:09

"Could they be autistic"

I dislike this too.... Offered for any irrational or unacceptable behaviour. Quite insulting to autistic people too. See also 'could they have Alzheimer's disease?' if someone is really aggressive and rude, and 'could he have depression?' when a poster's husband is nasty/moody/aggressive towards them.

@saraclara and @weinerdog

It's f*cking annoying isn't it? So rude and condescending to suggest someone is 'weirdly invested' or ' a bit angry!' and SO misogynistic and nasty to say 'you sound unhinged!'

'You need to work on your self esteem' (because objecting to your partners use of porn/prostitutes/leering at teenagers is down to your jealousy and lack of confidence)
'I find it so sad when women feel the need to...' (do anything to their appearance)

I hate HTH personally.
Super patronising.

'Being married living in my six bedroom chalet with husband you adores me and looking at my perfect 3 DC is not all its cracked upto be!'

Consultant here.
Teacher here
Lawyer here
Doctor here

i don't actually mind people stated their profession if it means they can provide some concise advise to a problem rather then let the pound shop Weetabix box lawyers stink up the place with what they once saw on an episode of Ally McBeal
^^

"genuine question"

Whenever this phrase is used, you can be damn sure it's not a genuine bloody question!

Exactly @Datingadviceplease and I say this as someone who wouldn't thank you for it but it must have it's benefits

“why sit and write up this entire bloody thread whinging when you could go round there and confront them yourself instead”

boils my piss

Not in a marriage. At least not outside of Mumsnet.

Yes they are. You're entitled to privacy if you're married.

Oh God yes. I once posted, on a thread about SUVs, that I found them annoying in car parks because it was difficult to see around them.
Some absolute passive aggressive eejit suggested I do a course for nervous drivers.

genuine question"

I have used that one to clarify I'm not being a goady cah when I need something clarifying.

Sort of - 'I hate all clowns and anyone who likes clowns should be locked up'

Why clown fabs locked up? What's happened that you don't like clowns so much? Did something awful happen when you were little that started this? Genuine question, I'm not suggesting everyone should love evil bastard clowns.

Tell your DH to just hand his notice in and go get a better paying job. 🤔

Yes I have said 'genuine question' to make it clear I'm not sneering at or snidely challenging the OP.

Is your husband always a dick?

My pet hate is when the OP has poured out the most complex, heart rending situation, the real being at the centre of a shitstorm scenario, plus every single thing they have done to change/improve/address every single thing they’ve mentioned, they’re at their wits end and are basically venting, and someone says:

”Why don’t you just…. (Insert impossible solution to the problem)?”

Even when it’s quite obvious they have tried everything within the scope of their circumstances and the most pragmatic, resilient person would be hard pressed to do anything else.

And when the OP tries to explain why said solution is out of their reach, the implication that they just aren’t trying hard enough…..

Sometimes people just need to get things out of their system !!

Sometimes their are genuine new suggestions that might be helpful, but often I read threads thinking “Did you not read the OP at all???”

Sometimes I stumble on threads from like 2009 and it is shocking how different they are in tone, so so kind to each other. It’s sad how it’s changed! 😢