Patronising MN replies that people pretend are sincere…

[Itsbadbitchoclockyeahitsthickthirty]

I’ll go first:

”Are you very young OP?”

Not to be unkind OP but why did you choose to have kids with this man?

Were you the OW?

"And you had children with this man why, exactly?"
"Could he be on the spectrum?" when the OP has just outlined a long history of coercive control from her husband

I think the 'How old are you?' question can be really relevant, though, especially when someone is asking a question about relationships that suggests they don't really know what an adult relationship is meant to be like. And as @picklemewalnuts says, sometimes the right advice might be different for a 20-year-old than it would be for a 50-year-old. But yeah, 'Are you very young?' is maybe not the best way to ask it.

“Be kind” drives me nuts too. It’s just a way of shutting down discussion.

If that had been me, I'd have let them in/made them dinner/paid for their kids university tuition/checked if they needed one of my kidneys etc etc. Always someone who's very keen to be considered the nicest person in the whole world on a CF thread.

Why didn't you just answer the door?

I'm going to go against the grain here (because I'm smarter than everyone else obvs) and then says exactly what everyone else has said.
Hope that helps!
And what did he/she/they say when you confronted them about this?

“What did they say when you asked them about it?”

🤯😤

But don't you think they must be on the spectrum/have special needs/be mentally ill/showing early stages of dementia??

On threads started by women in abusive relationships, posters who start with:

"I just asked my husband of xx years and he said... (insert something very obvious that literally everyone else has already said e.g. a man should never hit you)"

Off the charts smugness.

My favourite was the person who said they didn't understand what the OP was talking about because she used "ice cream truck" in the title but she had used ice cream van in the actual post. That poster kept insisting that she couldn't possibly understand what was meant by ice cream truck over mutiple posts and wouldn't just admit that she was being dickish about someone using an Americanism and had only read the title not the whole post.

This was the one I came on to write! Hate this so much.

HTH 🤷‍♀️ - makes me irrationally annoyed

Just...(anything. You know it's going to be impractical)

Say 'did you mean to be so rude?' If anyone asks me that I'm going to reply 'yes'

Answer with a tinkly laugh (bonus points for head tilt). You're getting a tea tray round the head if you try that one, chicken.

No one says HTH sincerely? It’s always sarcastic when I’ve seen it.

He's THREE!!!!! (Or FOUR!!!!! or whatever. Insert age here) repeated throughout the post. As if the OP didn't know the age...

No is a complete sentence

I hate it when someone is on another poster's thread, and they post more than once or twice on it, and get maybe a bit passionate or annoyed, and some areshat comes along and says 'why are you so OVER-INVESTED in this thread?' OMG that pisses me right off.

What also pisses me off is when someone says 'You sound ANGRY' to a poster who is (again) getting a bit passionate or a little annoyed about something.

It's so misogynistic and patronising asking an iccle woman why she is getting 'sooo angery,' and is designed to shut women down. Just BORE OFF anyone who says that. You won't shut me down by telling me I sound angry and/or I am over-invested!

Also... Not so much patronising but actually vile... when someone says 'you sound unhinged.' Basically saying that poster is not right in the head.

I think you missed a full stop there.

"Childcare is a joint cost though" YES WE FUCKING KNOW BUT THERES STILL NOT POINT GOING BACK TO WORK IF IM EARNING £10 AN HOUR AND PAYING OUT £20!

What did (eg your tormentor) say when you spoke to them about it?
Head tilt included.

I actually work full time but get the rage every time someone tells a SAHM they can afford to go back to work because their DH should pay half - even though it's all family money 🤣

Just in case you lost your other thread, it's here link

Gently op

Too true!!

This!! even when it’s SO obvious the OP has not spoken to them.. just being bloody rude really!