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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to just let DD go to school with earrings in.

306 replies

PinkChaires · 04/09/2022 09:29

School starts tomorrow and DD is saying that she will go to school her earrings in (not allowed). Now i dont agree that earrings shouldnt be allowed however they are the school rules. Ive said to her health and safety but she says that 1) my earrings are small and screw on- there is no chance of them falling off or getting caught on something. Tbh shes right- shes worn these earring from nursery right through primary school and there has never been an issue. 2) if its health and safety concerns why are the teachers wearing earrings. Shes right on this to- in events and parents evenings ive seen the teachers wear earrings/jewellery. Shes gotten phone calls home about this and got shouted at by the school but she says to me ' its a bit hard to take them seriously about the danger of earrings when they have like 5 earrings as well'. I cant get hett up about her wearing the earrings to school. Shes doing amazing in all other areas of school so far and this seems like a pointless rule
AIBU?

OP posts:
Original poster
PinkChaires · 04/09/2022 11:32

Butterdishtea · 04/09/2022 11:30

Also, in encouraging her to consider her own position as the same as a teacher's, you're teaching her to be a disingenuous brat with no critical thinking skills. Why aren't you pointing out that teachers don't wear uniform, don't do PE? It sounds like you're rather enthralled by your daughter but not everyone will find her so amazingly clever.

I have pointed this all out to her. I am in no way encouraging this behaviour and have said multiple times if anything happens i shall not help

OP posts:
ShandaLear · 04/09/2022 11:35

PornographicPriestess · 04/09/2022 10:33

I'm surprised by the number of people suggesting that you should blindly follow all rules.

I'd rather my children think critically. I wouldn't follow a rule that was without justification, and I wouldn't expect them to either.

I want my children to think critically about art and literature and science, not whether they should wear a pair of granny’s lucky earrings 🙄

Teand · 04/09/2022 11:38

What a weird school to not even allow stud earrings. I've never heard of that!

Hopeandlove · 04/09/2022 11:38

notonur · 04/09/2022 09:36

Stupid rule that I wouldn't be getting my DD to follow. A simple, small stud is fine. Taking them out even for a few days can cause some peoples holes to start closing.

If everyone decided which rules or laws they wanted to follow and which were 'stupid' and therefore didn't comply we would be in anarchy.
Follow ALL the rules. Teach them that.
She's not been asked to take them out all day -she's been asked to take them out at SCHOOL. Thus she can put them in on the way home in the car. Holes closing up is nonsense. After 60 days it takes about 3 WEEKS to close.

Morally and ethically support the school. Teachers and staff have enough crap without parents like you.

Teach them the school boundaries -it's a life lesson from when they start work.

Butterdishtea · 04/09/2022 11:38

Also, if it is a particular teacher who is regularly shouting at and picking her up for them (when it is clear she is going to continue wearing them) she should play the harassment & bullying card on them

And that, my friends, is how a CF is born. Something we've all wondered about

This post is an excellent demonstration of why discipline for disciplines sake is an important skill. So you don't end up divorced from reality on some CF planet feeling entitled to having out people figure out which social obligations you don't want to follow and make special accommodations based on your unique requirements.

Lolliepoppie · 04/09/2022 11:38

She’s your DC and it’s your responsibility to make sure she adheres to the rules of the school you have chosen for her.

Leaving it up to the school wastes teachers’ time, diverting them away from teaching. For you a call from school is a 5 minute nuisance, for them it’s passing the message on to various employees, looking up your details and the wasted time and cost of a phone call. Then making a note of the call.

Deal with your own DC at home and stop leaving parenting up to the school!

MadMadMadamMim · 04/09/2022 11:38

If its health and safety concerns why are the teachers wearing earrings. Shes right on this to- in events and parents evenings ive seen the teachers wear earrings/jewellery.#

Genuinely one of the dumbest comments I've seen from an adult. It's the sort of stupid argument put forward by teenagers. Did you notice the teachers didn't have to wear school uniform as well, OP? As others have said, the middle aged English teacher probably isn't wrestling for the basketball in the gym during PE lessons - and therefore isn't in danger of having an earring caught on someone else.

So many parents who think their kid is special and doesn't have to follow rules. Not for any actual reason. Just cos they don't want to. I don't understand why I can't scream through red lights at 70mph because ambulances do - and if it's dangerous why are they allowed to? Oh...wait...

Butterdishtea · 04/09/2022 11:42

I want my children to think critically about art and literature and science, not whether they should wear a pair of granny’s lucky earrings 🙄

Exactly. They can join school council if they want to go into politics. School rules are about respect. There are plenty of opportunities for individualism and being clever. There is probably a good reason for this rule but the students might not be aware. Expensive studs lost during PE, perhaps.

Perhaps it would help the child in question with her critical thinking skills up learn how fortunate we are to live in a country where our children are educated for free and girls have no problem accessing education on an equal footing. This isn't the case for many hard working, able children.

TheWitchCirce · 04/09/2022 11:42

FFS Teachers can wear earrings because they are adults and have done their time following school rules. They don't get changed for PE, go out to play with their teacher friends, get into physical fights. They aren't a potential target for other teachers when they walk home from school. They are adults! If its the rule for a school that you have chosen, then suck it up!

NeverDropYourMooncup · 04/09/2022 11:43

stode · 04/09/2022 11:11

If they're her favourite, lucky, meaningful pair then it's downright stupid to wear them somewhere where she might have to remove them and where they could get lost.

However I guess really it's not about special memories, it's just her minor form of rebellion and being unique.

I wouldn't be a teacher for the fucking world.

I give it about 3 days before she's screaming the place down because she's lost one of them.

Livinginanotherworld · 04/09/2022 11:46

Another entitled student for the overburdened staff to deal with. You are not doing your daughter any favours here. She will have rules to adhere to in the workplace whether she agrees with it or not. I’ve had to deal with new staff with this attitude, it doesn’t get them very far up the ladder.

Bananarama21 · 04/09/2022 11:46

Take them out seriously its not hard to follow the rules. I'm a swimming teacher earnings do come out and I've heard of other kids standing on them hurting their foot.

Damnloginpopup · 04/09/2022 11:47

PinkChaires · 04/09/2022 10:57

Are you actually saying my daughter is going to become pregnant because of her earrings🤣?

Seriously though, my daughter is very well behaved and is the top of her class and won multiple awards last year-whilst wearing earrings?

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Well it could happen. It's a slippery slope you know. 😂

bringbackveronicamars · 04/09/2022 11:47

Comtesse · 04/09/2022 09:40

I hate petty rules like this. I’m kind of with your daughter.

This.

1 small stud in each ear is perfectly reasonable and hurts no one, so long as they can be removed for PE.

Schools demand that children dress like mini adults in so many of these ridiculous state schools/academies (blazers/ties/leather dress shoes/expensive logo-ing/etc) and then turn around and infantilize them by dictating to them about not even being allowed to wear sensible, discreet jewelry. Ditto for make up.

And don't get me started on children still being required to wear their blazers and trousers in the heat while teachers waltz about in lightweight summer clothing.

user29 · 04/09/2022 11:47

Stop expecting school to do your job- tell her to take them out, and tell your young know-it-all that teachers can wear earrings because they are not students!

Teand · 04/09/2022 11:47

It's also disappointing she is unfazed if reprimanded by an authority figure. I find it really hard to believe she is doing 'amazing' at school with that attitude.

Entirely possible to be good at school work and get good grades but have an attitude problem. I had a few arguments with teachers and didn't always get on with "authority" but I still wanted good grades so I did my work and studied. I don't really understand how they aren't compatible.

CaptainMyCaptain · 04/09/2022 11:49

W0tnow · 04/09/2022 09:31

Take them out. Honestly teachers do not need to be dealing with this. Just take them out. If you don’t like the school rules, send her somewhere else.

Agreed. She needs to know there are rules and rules will apply in any job she does.

The teachers can wear them because they aren't doing PE. The teachers are also allowed to do many other things the students aren't allowed to do because they are adults.

Damnloginpopup · 04/09/2022 11:50

MarinoRoyale · 04/09/2022 10:59

You need to learn the difference between ‘anecdote’ and ‘evidence’ pronto or you’re going to struggle in life 🤣

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I am not struggling at all thank you. I earn a Mumsnet salary while juggling four kids and feeding us all for a week from one chicken and a batch cooked Bolognese. Without earrings.

😁

MassiveSalad22 · 04/09/2022 11:50

So weird that everyone is assuming OP is on DD’s side and not school’s. That’s not how I read the OP at all! The mind boggles.

CruCru · 04/09/2022 11:50

I’m a bit taken aback at all the people mentioned kids fighting. I’d be quite upset if my children were in a school where fights break out regularly.

Zaccat1 · 04/09/2022 11:52

The rules are the rules. When teachers have to spend time dealing with these issues the result is they cannot spend this time teaching.

It does not matter if you or your daughter agree with the rule or not, this is the situation teachers face. In many cases teachers may not agree with the rule but it is their job to enforce it.

BungleandGeorge · 04/09/2022 11:52

I’m not a fan of forcing children to follow stupid school rules with no justification. Blind obedience isn’t necessarily a good thing. Why aren’t they allowed any earrings? I can see why it might be the rule for sport (or to tape them), I can understand why no danglies or hoops, I’ve never heard of a total ban though. At her age I’d let her make the decision, I’d encourage her not to wear anything special though in case they get confiscated

Teand · 04/09/2022 11:53

I don't really understand how stud earrings can cause so much of an issue during PE either. I've got a load of them and I never remove them when I exercise. What exactly is the issue with studs during exercise?

Teand · 04/09/2022 11:54

I guess they might fall out and get lost due to the increased physical activity, or someone might stand on one that's come loose, at a push.

Userno73627384738 · 04/09/2022 11:55

My kids school happily allow a pair of studdings only. They've never had any incidents where earrings have been ripped out as far as I know.

I understanding taking them out or covering them for Pe though.