To still live my best life even though I’m fat

[Whatyagonnadokatie]

Many mnetters hate fat people. They dress it up as concern for health. But I think it’s something deeper than that. Something about us letting ourselves lose self discipline or something. Some people even seem to think that we shouldn’t have nice clothes (let me tell you, no one purposely gains weight to wear some lovely plus size clothes).

reading some threads on here break my heart when women dread going to social events because they are fat.

aibu to say, fuck that, get on with your life and be happy even if you are fat. Wear the nice clothes, go to all the social events. And hey, eat the biscuit if you really want to

If your GP is anything like the ones in my practice, they're all on the larger end of the spectrum. Probably drink a fair bit too, given the men have the obligatory strawberry nose and fat cat gammon pink cheeks.

Last time i was in hospital I also noticed that a large proportion of NHS staff are on the larger side too.

Seems like they can't even get the message through in the workplace. If this is the case then the general public don't have a chance and no amount of fat bashing (not by you obvs) is going to do anything.

It would be great if the NHS had a minimum size requirement. At least they could practice what they preach (obvs being sarcastic!).

This is my story. I blamed my two stone on menopause, believed that it was an inevitable part of getting older and as i was only eating the 'recommended' 2000 calories a day, I had to accept it.
I was shocked when i found out how low the calorie requirement actually is for a woman my age and height, but once I'd come to terms with it, then yeah, i could see it was the 400 excess calories a day I was eating was the cause.
Not for a moment suggesting that people don't have health conditions, or that they should restrict themselves if they don't want to, but I can't disagree that the most common cause of weight gain is likely eating more that one needs, as many people probably wouldn't imagine how low their calorie needs actually are; and if they look them up would dismiss them as ridiculous, unsustainable, 'ED territory' etc.

Wow some people are so hateful in this thread. Weight / dieting / nutrition is still a largely unknown science so all those harping on about healthy BMIs etc are talking through their arses. I've been both thin and fat and know for a fact it is much easier sailing through life as a thin person, it's just facts. I think what many don't talk about is that constant dieting majorly screws with your metabolism, so maybe the best approach is to accept your natural weight, eat what you want as long as it's nutritionally fufilling....and just enjoy your life?!?

For those wanting to love their larger bodies despite the hideous discrimination from society and places like Mumsnet, I'd highly recommend early episodes of a podcast called Maintenance Phase. It debunks many myths about dieting and wellness.

I am overweight but my skinny friend has way more food issues than me and l would rather have my body and attitude than hers.

So yes op l agree.

Cyclists are so annoying though tbf

And here you are fat bashing! The biggest insults in terms of unflattering physical descriptors have come from overweight people.

What exactly is it you think they preach, or indeed need to practice?

So because some doctors (and nurses are fat), that’s all ok then?

Such nastiness on this thread and very little of it from ‘slim people’

Weight / dieting / nutrition is still a largely unknown science so all those harping on about healthy BMIs etc are talking through their arses

Its really not unknown at all. Always more to learn as there is is any branch of science, but we absolutely know how to help people lose weight. And a healthy diet and calorie control is a big part of that.

I am overweight but my skinny friend has way more food issues than me and l would rather have my body and attitude than hers.

But it's also possible to be a healthy weight and have no food issues...

Bet she's healthier and looks far better.

It’s projection and transference. People who dislike or judge fat people it’s because they are actually judging themselves and also getting something from feeling superior.

Is healthy to judge yourself a bit though isn't it, being obese isn't a good thing

I'm actually quite slim 32-34 inch waist and < 20% body fat.

I think you misread my (sarcastic) post as I'm actually defending people's right to be whatever the size they want, without being beaten up about it.

I've been overweight all my life, apart from a terrible year when I left my abusive husband and couldn't eat.

I've heard the comments about me. Had the assumptions that I'm thick because I'm fat. Oh and I'm obviously a chav too. I've had abuse thrown at me by ugly overweight men in pubs and building sites.

I never learned to,swim because my parents couldn't afford lessons when I was a child and then as I got older I was too self conscious to be seen half naked in public.

I'm now 48 and a size 22 and I know I'm never going to reach a size 10. My mother, my grandmother and my aunts are all of a similar build and, like me, spent their lives hiding away from society and denying any pleasure until they reached the magic size 10. They never did. I never will.

I've been married, I've had a lot of lovers. I go for personality in men and so have slept with men of all sizes. I go for men who don't go for looks but intelligence and personality- I think all women should to be honest irrelevant of size but hey, their choice.

I'm done with hiding away now. I surround myself with people who like me for me not my body. I spend a lot of money on clothes because I like clothes and I have a body that needs dressing. I can now see the good bits - I have amazing eyes and hair and fabulous boobs. So,what f my stomach is big and my legs short and wobbly. This is me. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I've been listening to the Go Love Yourself podcast and found it really refreshing.

I would recommend it to anyone, fat or slim. I'm at peace with my body and I'm working hard on the mental trauma that caused my over eating problems- and if in turn that helps me lose weight, amazing! But right now, I'm fat and happy and it's no one else's business but mine. Like the presenters say- how you look is the least interesting thing about you.

Well that's hardly a clincher, is it? It sounds more like confirmation bias. When I go to my GPS there all a healthy weight and last time I went to the hospital, all of the clinical staff were also a healthy weight. Your experience proves nothing.

It's not about fat bashing it's about not accepting that being overweight is healthy. It's proven not to be. That doesn't mean it's healthy to be underweight due to an ED either but no one is arguing that it is.

As for dieting, yo-yo diets aren't healthy, clearly. But slightly reducing food intake while raising exercise levels over time is possible and sustainable.

The first paragraph of my post is two separate sentences. I can see how you might have thought I was saying I thought you were fat (I didn’t give your size a second thought) but I was just commenting, in light of your repose, that some of the nastiest comments have come from fat people.

Threads like these become tit for tat battlegrounds and then all of a sudden drinkers, sportspeople, smokers etc get dragged into it.

So very very tiresome.

Some people clearly enjoy blaming and shaming the fat people for how fucked the NHS is. Honestly, wake up.

As a senior manager in the NHS I can honestly say that we are not all sitting around counting the costs of obesity like people on here like to believe. We're actually sitting around wondering where to get nurses, doctors, physios, OTs, managers, administrators etc etc from after 12 years of Tory governments.

Hey, @Loachworks - I don’t think anyone mentioned this comment so I just wanted to say that I see it. I understand. I’m ill myself and have gone “both” ways - gained an incredible amount of weight on steroids when they thought giving me endless steroids would save me, and now I’m losing all my weight because there’s nothing to save me. We don’t always have control over these things, and no one would wish for cancer. It’s a fucking insidious, horrible disease, and I’m so sorry for what you’re going through, and if you feel your weight is just one more thing you have no control over because of the bloody cancer, that’s awful and I hate it for you.

I think sometimes people lose sight of the fact that IF their actions can control their weight, then they’re doing better than a lot of others. They can make a choice tomorrow to start changing their weight. There are a lot of people who don’t get the choice. Cancer or chronic illness or thyroid issues or medication weight gain/loss or diagnosed metabolism issues or mental health issues or eating disorders or… they can all be such a nightmare. If you’re overweight or underweight and you feel that it’s not limiting your life in any way, shape, or form, then go ahead. If on the other hand, you are feeling restricted in some way by your weight (physically, socially, mentally), then it’s also okay to want to make a change. It really goes for either end of the scale.

Unless you control budgets and allocate funds from a commissioning point of views to various tiers of treatment, then You wouldn’t be worried about it would you. You just do your job.

And yes to more doctors and clinics and HCPs generally, but more administrators?

NHS in addition to be underfunded is very very inefficient and many practices would be wiped out sharpish in commercial practice as they are slow and wasteful.

The weight gain due to under active thyroid happens prior to dx. I can't be bothered to go into all the details (because I'm fat so my biochemistry and pharmacology degree and endocrinology masters are obviously worthless) but many women have thyroid hormone levels on the border of hypothyroidism and the NHS only measures the levels of one-off them.
I am pretty sure that there are millions of women who have undx thyroid disease because of this and also because of the other sx associated with under active thyroid being dismissed as depression, getting older, menopause and all the other things that women's health gets dismissed as due to ingrained patriarchy in the medical profession.
So, once women have hit the jackpot and got their dx of hypothyroidism it then takes a while before they reach the correct dose of thyroxine and even then, it can need constant tweaking.
It's not just a case if oh I've got the sx of hypothyroidism, pop to the GP and get a prescription.

It wasn't meant to be a clincher, just pointing out that GP's saying that sports injuries are less of a drain isn't so simple, for all manner of reasons.

It's a stupid generalisation from a professional that should know better but is just regurgitating the NHS message that we should all be a healthy weight.

I don't disagree that there is a healthy weight (on a very general level) but there are so many factors.

because I'm fat so my biochemistry and pharmacology degree and endocrinology masters are obviously worthless

Yeah, because that’s what she said isn’t it.

FFS.

I too have very similar quals and your response makes me 🙄

Millions of women so. Or have undiagnosed thyroid issues. Stop talking rubbish.

Once it’s sorted, and all mess take time, they can lose weight like anybody else.

And What about all the fat men then? They have a different reason for being fat do they, or so they all have duff thyroids too!

I am pretty sure that there are millions of women who have undx thyroid disease because of this and also because of the other sx associated with under active thyroid being dismissed as depression, getting older, menopause and all the other things that women's health gets dismissed as due to ingrained patriarchy in the medical profession

And yet thyroid function is one of the first things to be considered and therefore one of the first things my colleagues and I would check for

YANBU. There are all sorts of reasons why overweight people might want to lose weight. But that doesn't remotely mean that overweight people should put their lives on hold, whether they will one day lose weight or not.