To still live my best life even though I’m fat

[Whatyagonnadokatie]

Many mnetters hate fat people. They dress it up as concern for health. But I think it’s something deeper than that. Something about us letting ourselves lose self discipline or something. Some people even seem to think that we shouldn’t have nice clothes (let me tell you, no one purposely gains weight to wear some lovely plus size clothes).

reading some threads on here break my heart when women dread going to social events because they are fat.

aibu to say, fuck that, get on with your life and be happy even if you are fat. Wear the nice clothes, go to all the social events. And hey, eat the biscuit if you really want to

No foundation in science for that 5% stat.

Stop talking rubbish.

which is the only.proven effective way to lose weight long term for obese patients?

only oh you can’t be serious

And if it was the “only” option, what’s this “5%” nonsense stat that you pull out of your ass!

It would be fascinating to know the weight and height of the posters on these threads.

i strongly suspect the reasoning behind certain viewpoints would be very clear!

I agree with this very much.

Also, why do so many people need to correct and provide information to others, when it was never asked for? So what if somebody posts that they can't lose weight? What's it to anybody else? They've presumably discussed this in real life, with or without professional advice, and that's the conclusion they've come to. Why launch into a lecture that nobody needs?

People posting what you may believe to be nonsense, on a chatboard is par for the course. Some posts are not nonsensical but, if you don't agree with them, still no need to challenge and correct. It's a waste of time, usually comes across as patronising and really, it's just unnecessary.

My view is that women need to stick together to be a voice louder than those moronic men who call us names when we run, walk, do any bloody thing in public that isn't centreing them. That abuse happens at every size and it's insidious. It affects so many women and it needs to stop.

Heckling what's somebody's said about their weight/body/lifestyle and reasons for it? Not useful.

It’s not until 60 that you see metabolic changes that really really start to make it harder (published last year).

It’s hard work keeping weight off, it’s hard work over time being fat and it becomes even harder as we age. It’s a cliche but people need to choose their hard.

But whether it's metabolic changes, psychological issues, upbringing, habit or an obesogenic environment, or a lack of willpower that makes it hard for people to stick to weight loss programmes - the fact is they still fail and will continue to do so, however much people tell them to 'choose their hard'. So yes, when a doctor recommends a diet or weight loss programme to an overweight person, they are knowingly recommending something that is very unlikely to work (even if the 95% stat is inflated).

Implying that the the decision to remain fat (which in fact requires no decision or effort) remotely compares in 'hardness' with having to make the decision every waking hour of every day for the rest of your life to resist eating what you want to eat is very disingenuous, however neat a catchphrase 'choose your hard' might be.

But with the right programme for them (there is no magic bullet, what works for you won’t work for me) - they won’t fail.

That is rather the point.

It takes perseverance and dedication in today’s environment to keep it off.

It is hard - no doubt. But you can do it.

People spend so much time and effort on nails, hair, nice clothes, outings (Inc eating out) mindfulness and ‘loving themselves’

All hugely important. And so is a healthy body.

An Obese or overweight body is by definition, metabolically dysregulated.

Nobody makes you eat what you eat.

For those poor souls who live in food deserts and have no transport, fair enough they have little mobility to make healthy choices and I get that.

But here’s the thing - most of us do.

How many takeaways, ready meals, multi bags crisps, shop bought pizzas etc do people buy for convenience and use far more often than they should?

Loads - the market is booming because we buy it.

Look at this ‘eat well for less’ show on TV. Utter crap being bought - mostly feom
supermarkets too where there risk planet od other Choice.

People also eat Willy nilly now ans never let themselves feel hunger! Ever. This is bad. Being hungry on occasion is not.

I have four kids, and I am very careful with their diets. Takes me ages to prep food and cooks suppers- I hate it sometimes, but I do it because I have to to keep them (and me) healthy.

If that doesn’t motivate you - nothing will.

And the decision to remain fat does require effort, don’t be so disingenuous. How many calories does a female need to eat to maintain a size 24? A lot. That’s a lot of eating of healthy food ( eat less) and less eating of shit (buy better food).

This was me. I genuinely thought I was healthy because I walked everywhere and bounced about at the gym now and again. I genuinely thought I had a good diet because I ate lots of nutritious food, I seemed to casually not notice the other things I was eating.

It’s only now that I have a rigorous daily fitness regime (that has taken time to build up to) that I realise how little energy and fitness I really had before. Very few people hit the NHS guidelines of a MINIMUM of 150 minutes of exercise - 75mins should be moderate intensity and 75mins should be vigorous intensity. A walk rarely counts as moderate.

It’s only now that I have spent time counting calories that I truly understand how much I was overeating and how very easy it is to overeat. I have to restrict what I WANT to eat because it is very far removed from what I NEED to eat. I speak as someone who regularly cycles 100-200km in one go and actively have to consume calories whilst working out.

I’m sure plenty of people have medical conditions that prevent diet and exercise in the way that I’ve described, but there certainly is a large number of people who are ignorant of what our bodies require to stay fit and healthy. The modern lifestyle doesn’t make it easy for us.

So yes, when a doctor recommends a diet or weight loss programme to an overweight person, they are knowingly recommending something that is very unlikely to work (even if the 95% stat is inflated)

So Clinicians should never suggest a diet is what you’re saying?

That’s it - dont try to help fat people?

Or should they all get gastric sleeves? Because we can afford that can’t we.

Interesting that someone said bariatric surgery is the only guarantee to losing weight. I have a friend who has just had this surgery and my understanding is that it just makes it physically impossible for her to eat (she’s eating her ‘meals’ out of baby food Tupperware) so the weight is falling off.

However, because she is not able to get enough nutrition, her hair is falling out and her skin has changed. Surely, not the best solution?

It takes perseverance and dedication in today’s environment to keep it off.

It's way more than that - you have to beat your own biology - being obese affects your body at a molecular level and means that your body works harder to stay fat. So even normal healthy dietary changes and 150mins of exercise weekly will not have the same effect as on a non obese person.

Very common after bariatric surgery. Can also happen after normal dieting too.

It’s to do with the growth phase of hair - it does come back and isn’t that unusual with rapid weight loss.

Bariatric surgery works to help regulate the hormones so it’s success rate is generally good.

The new GLP-1 agonist drugs (Ozempic is one) also work well. They act centrally to reduce hunger.

Same longer term issues with keeping it odd though.

That’s where the hard work really is.

I’ve known people blend up chocolate and cream and drink it - it’s sad. Significant behavioural therapy is needed here too.

Interestingly, data shows that people who have bariatric surgery, replace their focus on food with something else (alcohol, exercise etc) It’s not uncommon at all.

Good on you

you were honest with yourself and now completely reaping the benefit

Same goat. Only when I properly educated myself did I realise why I was two stone overweight. Exercise needs to be full on pretty much every day not 20 mins 3 times a week. I only eat two meals a day now and on small plates. Eat about half of what I used to and I’m still not super slim but am in my healthy bmi and just about a size 10.

@Goatinthegarden I manage to hit it. My job means I'm at a desk all day (and I can't get up and walk/wander off) so I really am sat down for 40hrs a week
That doesn't help my weight but I'm fat and still hit the NHS exercise guidelines. I think... spin classes are vigorous I'm guessing and I do 4 of those, 30-60 min classes plus stretching, yoga, barre but it definitely takes effort

I'm just under 7 stone. I eat a pretty regular diet and I exercise a few times a week (usually a 45' evening swim). I'm neither starving myself nor swanning around feeling superior, nor do I look skeletal. I have energy (most of the time) and I sleep well. But it's amazing the number of people who feel entitled to make disparaging remarks, will accuse me of gloating or that I must be anorexic!

Silly question, but were you aware that you were overweight?

I was about two stone and a half stone over my healthy BMI at 30 and because so many people around me were also overweight, I didn’t actually realise it was that bad. I was a slim teenager and my weight just slowly crept up through my twenties. I knew I wanted to be a ‘bit thinner’ but was horrified to find I wasn’t healthy. It’s only now I’ve lost close to three and a half stone that I can see how big I was. I’m still not super slim, but I can see huge progress.

It’s not just cosmetic, I feel so much better, more energetic, strong and capable. I know people don’t like to hear it, I don’t want to fat shame, but I just want others to feel how I feel. I didn’t realise how sluggish or tired my extra weight was making me.

30 years old, not 30 BMI

If anyone thinks frosties are a healthy breakfast they can't be helped.

@Carpy88999 people only have so much capacity to take in information. And UPF companies are excellent at putting out biased research, e.g. www.bmj.com/content/371/bmj.m4601

^One common corporate scientific activity is to fund nutrition studies designed to generate favourable scientific evidence for a company’s products.2 These studies have an inherent financial conflict of interest. Systematic evaluations of industry funded nutrition studies have—perhaps not surprisingly— found a funding bias effect, whereby study findings are more likely to favour the interests of their industry sponsors.2
However, food corporations are also able to influence nutrition research through the types of nutrition studies they choose not to fund, producing what we might call “not funding” bias. Manufacturers of ultra-processed foods have had little interest in funding research that measures the detrimental effects of their products, and this may partly explain the neglect of such research over the past 50 years.^

@Jourdain11

Totally agree. Fat people are so quick to call out and shame skinnier people.

But are so victimy when it comes to them when they're only 'living their best life!'

Well, no.. you're living your life heading into much higher risks of cancers, strokes and heart attacks and whatever else. If that's living your best life then fine. But don't push your insecurities onto slimmer people!

I would imagine a lot of people that had thyroid problems 100 years ago might well have died from them. Not everyone was thin then, whatever people might believe - my great-grandmother was a case in point judging by the photos. The point is that weight problems are massively misunderstood and doctors only have a very small amount of time devoted to them during their training which, with the knowledge we have of the conditions that are exacerbated by obesity, is not a very good state of affairs. It really is not as simple as the eat less, move more mantra we have been patronisingly told all this time. There are many reasons for putting on weight, including emotional eating. I have had an underactive thyroid for years and the medication stabilises it but it is still hard to actually lose weight on it. I also have another medical condition, lipodoema, a hormonal condition which affects around 10% of the female population and a few men. It starts in the legs and can progress to most parts of the body in unlucky people (l am one of these) and the parts of the body that are affected cannot be reduced by diet or exercise. I am most around a size 14. Many ladies that have this condition are far larger. We will never have a normal BMI but surely nobody would begrudge us the chance to look and feel the best we can. The same goes for overweight people in general, whatever the reasons behind being larger than they would perhaps like.

Jeeze, you sound bitter.
many of my friends are really slim (well, what would have been “normal sized”back in the day). I don’t spend time hating them.

I have had an underactive thyroid for years and the medication stabilises it but it is still hard to actually lose weight on it.

Same here. Medication eases the symptoms but it doesn’t cure the condition. The thyroid still doesn’t behave normally with regard to regulating metabolism.

I was recently diagnosed with a very underactive thyroid but I'm not overweight because I make sure I eat sensibly and remain active.

I'm going on an all inclusive holiday soon and I'll eat and drink whatever I want, and then if I gain weight I'll just be more sensible for a few weeks when I get home.

Having an underactive thyroid does not mean you'll inevitably become overweight and I wouldn't want anyone reading this thread, having had a recent diagnosis, to think that's the case.