To think my husband is an areshole

[Lilyrose23]

Yesterday our son fractured his knee and is having emergency surgery on Monday. DH was on the way to the airport when I found out surgery was happening. I called him to get our health insurance info and briefly explain the surgery. A hurried call as we were at the doctors office and they were waiting for the insurance policy info. DS ( 12) had a massive panic attack at the mention of surgery and it was a hugely stressful morning. The next comms I get from DH is a what’s app phots of a plate of nice food and a large glass of wine with the simple message ‘ ahh business class lounge is nice’. AIBU to feel utterly fucked off…. No enquiry after our son, so seeing if I was ok ( tearful mess), no offer to not go away and come home and be around for the surgery. He was flying off not on work but to see friends……

Typical man IME

twat

Yes he called at 08.00 this morning when we were at the hospital doing pre op tests. He also called our son last night on his phone as I had told him to fuck off and not call me

I’m really shocked by his response. I think I wouldn’t ever be able to find a way to be ok with him again. So sorry you’re feeling so alone right now, please let us know how your son gets on. Big hugs 🤗

There is tone deaf and there is fucking stupid!

im not usually one to day ltb but I think I'd genuinely be questioning the future of my marriage. What a selfish twat.

Agree.

Sending the message is not fine, whatever wording goes with it!

Hope you and your son are alright. I'm sorry it all sounds so stressful

When you said this isn't alright you fuckwit what did he say? Did he apologise, does he understand?!

Honestly if it was my son I wouldn't be going any bloody where so I really struggle with his priorities

Well, i guess that's something...

I'd bet good money his argument would be - well, there's no thing i can do if i come home, DS's in good hands etc, and it would be such a waste of money/holiday if i cut it short. But if your child's had an accident & needs surgery you'd WANT to be with them, surely? Even if you're just 'there' and not doing very much?

I'd be furious with the bugger for the incredibly crass meal photo, never mind anything else

What an absolute dick!

im not saying he shouldn’t have gone - unless perhaps you have other younger children and would be unnecessarily torn without him there. But bragging about his luxury time is really insensitive and suggests a total lack of empathy / care for your son.

Yes two other kids to juggle as well. Anyways, he’s proven how fucking useless he is. Time to have a long hard think.

@Lilyrose23 it’s understandable your son will be anxious about having a GA. On the morning of your son’s procedure, the anaesthetist will visit your son and have a chat with him about what’s going to happen etc. Paediatric anaesthetist’s do tend to be very nice doctors.

Thank you. We met the Anaesethist today and he was really good at explaining the process for my son and will probably give him a pre med

Oh my goodness, you have two other DC to sort out while your other DC is having surgery, and your DH is sending you pictures of luxury food and drink and buggered off for a week's jolly instead of heading straight home to provide you with support?!?

My blood pressure is rising for you OP, a complete stranger, I can't imagine how you must feel. If there have been similar incidents over the years, this would be the last straw. He sounds like he doesn't give a damn about the family.

P.S. I hope you have some reliable family/friends to support you and all your DC through this

Wait what? You've got two other kids. So you're juggling them as well as poor ds in hospital?

Do you have support? Are you okay?

Your husband just got relegated from fucking useless into something far worse as far as I'm concerned

I can't imagine what else there is to think about. You've given this arsehole enough of your life already.

My DS was taken to hospital when younger and my (already) ex-husband, upon being told, said to let him know what happened as he was on his way out to the pub. I didn't and he never checked, these people don't deserve to be fathers.

Hope your son is ok x

I’d reply with good enjoy business class because your on your own from now on . Tosser.

You are so right

Can you send pictures from first class? If not, he might have sent the picture before he knew your son was having surgery.

It gives me a small amount of pleasure that it was just the lounge he was enjoying and flew economy

I’d have the divorce papers ready for him getting home. Prick.

He was in the lounge. We spoke as he was on the way to the airport when I told him about the surgery.

This!!