To feel confused at teachers response?

[olimin]

Hi all, first time posting. Thought I'd get a bit more perspective from other parents.

DC started reception today. It's day two And the kids are going in for half days the next week to get settled in.

DC's never attended nursery. He's also late summer born so is a lot younger than most of the kids in his class.

Feedback I've gotten for the past couple days from teachers has been that he's struggling to follow instructions, is persistent in doing his own thing and playing despite being told to join the rest of the class, repeatedly trying to leave the classroom and rarely responding to his name being called.

The teacher even insinuated that he might have special needs (which I know for certain he does not). The only positive she's mentioned is that he seems to be very bright.

I thought that reception was about getting kids to learn to follow rules and get used to school structure and routine.

Did any of your kids go through something like this? Should I be worried? He always responds to his name at home and with persistent instructions does what he's told. To me he seems stubborn and strong willed. Don't know what to do.

It simply means he won't already know the 'classroom' type rules, such as circle or carpet time, listening to other children when they're talking, possibly taking turns with peers (very different than with adults), joining in with whole class/larger group activities, following a teacher's instructions, etc.
Exactly. It places the DC automatically at a disadvantaged, that and his young age must be stressful for him and peers never mind the teacher.
The other DC will be Pee'd off if he isn't taking turns or tidying up or takes extra attention from teacher.
Definitely ensure teachers are aware he missed preschool.

I thought that reception was about getting kids to learn to follow rules and get used to school structure and routine.
No that happens in preschool.

Where we live in Wales there was no nursery provision they started part time for the first term after their fourth birthday 9 till 11 or 1 till 3. Before that it was playgroup. This was in 2005. There was a TA to help out with the settling in period and aid the teacher. No-one decided there was a problem because all the children were in the same development phase

@TheLighthouse23 there is a great Facebook group that would offer you guidance on this and it is possible. It’s called flexible admissions for summer borns. You can get lots of good advice there. Good luck

@HulahoopsBBQbeef Hey thanks! I'll go look :)

@RupertPsmith is that 92% of those eligible?

My son isn't eligible but he attends a childminder 3 days a week and has done since he was 8 months old.

I also won't be the only person that isnt eligible. Also the other 8% might not know they can claim it.

It's really unusual to recieve a child in Reception who has had little or no pre school experience, in my area, we encourage it to not only help with understanding rules, routines and boundaries but also to help with communication and language for the children. Even when we do get a child who hasnt been to school, they are mature enough that they begin to learn to follow others, so the fact the OPs DS isn't conforming after two days is a little worrying. I would have given him more time before approaching the parent though.

'With persistent instructions does what he's told'.

This stood out for me, OP.
How many times do you need to ask him to do something? And if it's more than once or twice, did you not anticipate that this might be a problem at school?

@BuildersTeaMaker applauding your post

OP at least your son’s teacher is taking an interest and wanting to know if there’s anything additional that she might be able to help him with. I would regard that as being very positive.

DS1 has complex SEN and already had an EHCP when he started Reception. I’d had multiple meetings with the headteacher before he started and she was fantastic and very understanding. 1:1 support was all in place ready for him to start. However the Reception teacher decided that she knew better than all of his medical professionals and refused to accept that he had any special needs. She labelled him ‘naughty’ and refused to work effectively with his 1:1. The headteacher, who had been so good before he started there, “always supports her staff” and therefore refused to intervene. It was horrendous. He was treated pretty terribly.

Do work with your son’s teacher on this rather than taking offence. Hopefully it’s just that he’s not used to a large, noisy environment with a lot of very young children in it and he’ll settle in very quickly.

No, it’s 92% of all 3-4 year olds as the 15 hour entitlement is universal. Are you thinking of the extended 30 hours which is not available if a parent earns over 100k?

The caveat on the figure is that it does include the four year olds who are receiving their 15 hours in a Reception class before their fifth birthday.

@Supergirl1958 There will also be children who are eligible but who attend a setting which doesn’t accept 15 hour funding and therefore although their parents have not registered them and they aren’t counted in the 92% they are in some form of early years setting. My niece is one such child.

@Supergirl1958 all children are entitled to 15 hours early years education.

Nursery does give children an advantage, in all the ways described above, and our curriculum is built around children being school ready in Reception - reading some of the responses above makes me think a lot of people aren't clear just how quickly children are expected to settle in. I think it must be overwhelming for a child to start in reception without having any nursery / preschool experience. If you intend for your child to go to school I'd always, always recommend nursery first.

I think if you have a summer born you are doing them a disservice if you don’t at least give them a term in pre-school, otherwise you are setting them up to fail

I think it must be overwhelming for a child to start in reception without having any nursery / preschool experience. If you intend for your child to go to school I'd always, always recommend nursery first.

I think it depends on the child. I’m sure some children who are kept at home are easy going, adaptable and confident, maybe attend clubs regularly where they have to join in with other children and listen to other adults and the parents are quite strong in teaching them how to listen and follow instructions at home. But if you have a child who you know needs ‘persistent instruction’ to do anything you tell them then sending them cold turkey into school is a bit daft in my opinion. It’s the child that suffers for it at the end of the day, I agree it can’t be fun for them initially, it all sounds very overwhelming and confusing. It think it’s selfish.

Another reception teacher here...and again wondering why he didn't attend nursery for the funded hours? (Of course it's your right not to send him as not compulsory but it really does make a huge difference! So just interested as to why you didn't want to send him even just for the last term).

Anyway what has your son said about school ? Have you explained to him that he has to stay in the classroom? He has to listen to the teacher/ta?

Id ask for a meeting with the teacher-it may be that he is showing particular traits in school that obviously he isn't at home. Waiting lists are long for SEN support so if there is a possibility the teacher will want to make referrals now.

Also ask for the phrase leader to attend the meeting to discuss concerns you have had about your son being the youngest in the year and not having attended a nursery setting. Explain you want to work together to help your son to settle in so that he ready to learn and progress.

Reception is a lovely year to teach but absolutely one of the hardest given how young the children stlll are but that we are expected to teach them how to read and write (amongst everything else!).

Good luck OP, im sure your son will be just fine!

*Phase not phrase leader.

@BeanieTeen no they aren't.....

All three year olds are entitled to 30 free hours, the 15 hours have to meet certain criteria, and we don't but thanks for trying to show me up ;)

@RupertPsmith no the 15 hours 2 year olds get if their parents qualify

@Supergirl1958 isn’t that poster referring to 3-4 year olds funding not the 2 year olds funding, which is different and subject to certain criteria. All 3-4 years (in England) can have 15 hours free childcare, some are eligible for 30 hours

@Supergirl1958 I promise I am not trying to show you up but I think you have confused a few things and I would not want you to miss out on funding you are entitled to. The following is specific to England.

I was not previously referring to the 15 hours funding for 2 year olds. You are correct that this is only available to families on certain benefits, eg Income Support or Working Tax Credit.

All 3-4 year olds are entitled to 15 hours funding. This can be taken at a school nursery class or with another provider. This is universal.

Some (and in practice many) 3-4 year olds are entitled to a further 15 hours funding, making an overall entitlement of 30 hours. To qualify for this the parents must be in work and earning a certain amount, but not more than £100k net.

Are you in England? If so, you have it the wrong way round. All 3&4 year olds are eligible for 15 hours funding. Some 3&4 year olds are eligible for 30 hours if they meet the criteria. See here.

Some 2 year olds are eligible for 15 hours funding, but that is a separate matter.

I wasn't referring to you, but I think we had crossed wires :)

I've taught Reception for many years. I'd certainly leave it more than 2 mornings before discussing potential SEN with a parent. But the fact that the teacher has... does perhaps indicate that he REALLY stands out amongst his peers. Despite what people think, teachers don't go out of their way to try and upset and worry parents, so she probably does have a genuine concern - even though it is VERY VERY early days.

What has your son said about school so far? Perhaps a little word in his ear at the door about listening to his teacher and doing as he's told? For a child with no nursery experience, being surrounded by lots of other kids, and a couple of bossy grown-ups is a new experience!

You might have said later in the thread, but what is the reason for him not doing nursery?

Ok, thanks for clarifying…I did have to look it up and couldn’t find exact dates it started …I knew it was post 2000 but could only find reference to the 2017 act.
doesn’t alter what I was saying though…it is a very recent thing.