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Original poster

Expecting HIM to do school run?

771 replies

Brighton5555 · 02/09/2022 08:36

Just wanted to get a idea if I’m out of order .
My Dh runs his own business and works long hours normally getting home at 12.30am..

I am a stay at home mum to our child plus my elder child who has sen.

We have a agreement where Dh takes our son to school each morning and I do all pick ups.

He has said as he’s is working so hard at his shop it’s really not fair for him to get up at 8.15am Monday to Friday to do this .. hinting I should do it .

I don’t like school runs but do all pick ups. I also do all the housework / cooking / cleaning / appointments / admin/ planning/ paying bills / taking kids to clubs / activities .. you know the list is endless.

The only things my husband does is this school run and taking the bin out once a week. Nothing else .

some might think as I’m a stay at home mum I should do it but if I do ( I’m already up each morning and all the work of getting the kids ready for school is done , he literally just drives our child ) then he literally does one thing a week - the bin.

I could take my child but I don’t see why I should. I get he works long hours and in the summer holidays he’s been getting up at 10.30am every morning so to have to wake up at 8.15 he isn’t going to like but he doesn’t have to do it during the holidays / half terms and weekend …

Am I wrong ? am I being lazy ?

OP posts:
stuntbubbles · 02/09/2022 10:03

If he doesn’t do the school run then basically he is doing one thing a week in the house - the bin.
Well, no. You do the morning school runs as you’re up anyway and he needs to sleep in a little longer. In exchange, he picks up something when he gets up, before he starts work: food shop, meal planning, cleaning, “admin”, empty the dishwasher from the night before and load the breakfast stuff, put a wash on, do the bin as well – like you say, the list is endless. There’s no reason for him to do the school run; there’s also no reason for him to do nothing but the bin.

Tigofigo · 02/09/2022 10:04

MichelleScarn · 02/09/2022 09:55

But where does your 'main provider' income come from?

This is my question too - as a SAHP surely you don't work? Benefits are not your income.

CanneBBothered · 02/09/2022 10:04

I'm sorry but the idea of a "SAHM" being oh soooooooo busy when her children are in school for most of the day that she can't do the school run is hilarious. And I say that as someone who was a SAHM for a bit and still work very part time with nursery aged DC.

It's not an easy job at all, but come off it. If my son was out of the house from 9am-3pm every day (only goes to nursery on my working days) I'd be fucking laughing. How much bloody "life admin" do you need to do every single day?

mountainsunsets · 02/09/2022 10:05

Why aren't you explaining how you're the main provider?

You don't work, so how are you bringing in all this money?

RecHarged · 02/09/2022 10:05

OP older child has SEN too - does anyone realise how difficult that must be . This thread is really unpleasant

DancingBudgie · 02/09/2022 10:06

I'm getting the impression that the op couldn't lie straight in bed.

CanneBBothered · 02/09/2022 10:06

I think you have a legitimate issue in that your husband isn't around to see your children enough and you should speak with him about that. But leave out the 'im just so so busy all day because I cook and clean when my kids are in school why should I have to take them there as well'.

RecHarged · 02/09/2022 10:06

CanneBBothered · 02/09/2022 10:04

I'm sorry but the idea of a "SAHM" being oh soooooooo busy when her children are in school for most of the day that she can't do the school run is hilarious. And I say that as someone who was a SAHM for a bit and still work very part time with nursery aged DC.

It's not an easy job at all, but come off it. If my son was out of the house from 9am-3pm every day (only goes to nursery on my working days) I'd be fucking laughing. How much bloody "life admin" do you need to do every single day?

You have no idea how many appts the OP may have for her SEN child, or night care needs for example. It’s not a straightforward set of circumstances

CanneBBothered · 02/09/2022 10:07

RecHarged · 02/09/2022 10:05

OP older child has SEN too - does anyone realise how difficult that must be . This thread is really unpleasant

Who she's already confirmed is out of the house 9-3 every week day.

Crazycrazylady · 02/09/2022 10:07

Ahh seriously you are at home all day from 8.30 to 3 every day with no kids . Even if you do 2 hours housework a day that still gives you loads of time for yourself.
It wouldn't kill you to let him have a lie in give. His late hours a day or two a week.

RecHarged · 02/09/2022 10:08

mountainsunsets · 02/09/2022 10:05

Why aren't you explaining how you're the main provider?

You don't work, so how are you bringing in all this money?

Is that even relevant ? Does OP need to be means tested or judged on her worthiness as to whether she needs her dh to help or not with his own dc ?

CanneBBothered · 02/09/2022 10:08

RecHarged · 02/09/2022 10:06

You have no idea how many appts the OP may have for her SEN child, or night care needs for example. It’s not a straightforward set of circumstances

Show quote history

All these appointments when he's in school every day like OP has already said? If we were talking about a SEN child who was home with her all day I'd agree. But he walks himself to school and is out of the house 9-3 as OP herself has already said.

knittingaddict · 02/09/2022 10:08

stuntbubbles · 02/09/2022 10:03

If he doesn’t do the school run then basically he is doing one thing a week in the house - the bin.
Well, no. You do the morning school runs as you’re up anyway and he needs to sleep in a little longer. In exchange, he picks up something when he gets up, before he starts work: food shop, meal planning, cleaning, “admin”, empty the dishwasher from the night before and load the breakfast stuff, put a wash on, do the bin as well – like you say, the list is endless. There’s no reason for him to do the school run; there’s also no reason for him to do nothing but the bin.

Everyone needs down time. When does op's husband get a chance to relax? You would have him either working (in the job and at home) or sleeping. The op gets plenty of downtime during the day and in the evening when the children are in bed.

I'm replying to this as a hypothetical situation because I'm convinced the op is on a wind up.

Franticbutterfly · 02/09/2022 10:09

I agree with the PP's, you should do it.

RecHarged · 02/09/2022 10:09

CanneBBothered · 02/09/2022 10:07

Who she's already confirmed is out of the house 9-3 every week day.

Show quote history

Do you have a SEN child ? For all we know there could be huge additional needs - night care or frequent appts etc OP must be exhausted

knittingaddict · 02/09/2022 10:10

DancingBudgie · 02/09/2022 10:06

I'm getting the impression that the op couldn't lie straight in bed.

😁

Mumspair1 · 02/09/2022 10:11

What do you do between 9am - 3pm. That is a shit load of time to get the entire housework done for the week. You could even cook a few meals around that time too. Your week is then freed up massively to just tidying and seeing to the kids. I'm a sahm too so I know you are just being lazy op.

mattressspring · 02/09/2022 10:12

DancingBudgie · 02/09/2022 10:06

I'm getting the impression that the op couldn't lie straight in bed.

Ah, I wasn't going to post any more on this batshit thread but I think this comment is worthy of some praise 👌

Original poster
Brighton5555 · 02/09/2022 10:12

It isn’t a wind up.

I posted to see if I was being wrong or lazy .

It’s crazy to be that people think because he works 6 days a week he shouldn’t do anything.

The attacks on me claiming I’m on benefits , I do adult work, that I am making the post up, even people going through my older posts to then bring up about my daughter that’s not even mentioned in my post here …. Mumsnet ? More like Monsternet 😂😂😂

OP posts:
CanneBBothered · 02/09/2022 10:13

RecHarged · 02/09/2022 10:09

Do you have a SEN child ? For all we know there could be huge additional needs - night care or frequent appts etc OP must be exhausted

Show quote history

I'm fairly sure OP would have said by now if it were the case she was up all night with a child who had severe SEN and was taking him to multiple appointments every single day. He's capable enough to walk to school by himself we know that much, and she's already said he's out at school 9-3 so it isn't a leap to assume she's not running to appointments every day Mon-Fri with him.

Readinginthesun · 02/09/2022 10:13

In the absence of a straight answer I am assuming OP receives some benefits .

Ladywinesalot · 02/09/2022 10:13

This reply has been deleted

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Beautiful3 · 02/09/2022 10:14

He is working 12 hour shifts, you're not working, yet want him to do the am school run every day?! Yes you're being unreasonable. The stay at home parent does the school run, unless you're ill. I'm a sahp and I have always done this, obviously my husband helps out when I'm ill.

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 02/09/2022 10:14

If you were living on your savings/inheritance or anything like that you would have said that by now.

Which probably means that you're living on benefits.

Which does not make you the main provider.

knittingaddict · 02/09/2022 10:15

I posted to see if I was being wrong or lazy .

Since you asked - wrong and lazy.

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