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AIBU?

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Original poster

Fucking hate this term

1000 replies

MolliciousIntent · 31/08/2022 19:03

Conversation today with an acquaintance, who is a SAHP, has oddly kinda upset me. I've just gone back to work after 6m mat leave and mentioned that I'll be going into London for work now and then - she said "oh it's been ages since I went to London, but then again I am a full time mum."

I'm probably just tired and stressed, but it felt like a bit of a guy punch. I'm a full time mum too. I just work as well. I've seen SAHMs described as full time mums before, now I think about it, and it makes me feel weird.

Do people really think working mums are part time parents? Or was she just having a dig?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
mnmoaner · 02/09/2022 10:13

CecilyB / I agree with you. It was someone else comparing childcare to other tasks like gardening,. I can't remember why or what the pint was there.

pinklavenders · 02/09/2022 10:14

Not quite. Scroll up and have a read... or get on Google. I assume you know about that?

Can you please elaborate?

PeasOff · 02/09/2022 10:17

pinklavenders · 02/09/2022 10:14

Not quite. Scroll up and have a read... or get on Google. I assume you know about that?

Can you please elaborate?

Google the definition of unemployed.

TartanGirl1 · 02/09/2022 10:18

@PeasOff well if you can't handle the debate throw around daft accusations or insults!

pinklavenders · 02/09/2022 10:19

@PeasOff

This might help you better understand my point:

Unemployment officially refers to all the people in an economy who are looking for work but are unable to find it. It does not mean the same thing as not having a job. Governments measure unemployment by counting the people who are looking for work.¹ People who are, for example, retired, in school, looking after children, or sailing around the world wouldn’t count as unemployed.

PeasOff · 02/09/2022 10:19

TartanGirl1 · 02/09/2022 10:18

@PeasOff well if you can't handle the debate throw around daft accusations or insults!

Works a charm every time and doesn't make you look daft at all.

Vincitveritas · 02/09/2022 10:20

PeasOff · 02/09/2022 10:11

Doubt all you want, I couldn't GAF what some random on the Internet thinks.

Trying to insult people and questioning if they're parents because you can't debate is hilarious.

Show quote history

Nor do I care what you think. I haven't waded through the mud that is this thread to read your other comments.

PeasOff · 02/09/2022 10:21

pinklavenders · 02/09/2022 10:19

@PeasOff

This might help you better understand my point:

Unemployment officially refers to all the people in an economy who are looking for work but are unable to find it. It does not mean the same thing as not having a job. Governments measure unemployment by counting the people who are looking for work.¹ People who are, for example, retired, in school, looking after children, or sailing around the world wouldn’t count as unemployed.

I understand the point you are trying to make but don't agree with it.

I have addressed the people mentioned above.

You can cherry pick from articles as much as you want but look up the definition in Oxford/Cambridge online dictionaries or Wikipedia.

Topgub · 02/09/2022 10:21

@mnmoaner

I didnt say it was

The whole oh some women just clearly can't cope with it is.

pinklavenders · 02/09/2022 10:22

I'm not cherry picking anything. I have an Economics degree and have worked in that area!

But sure, go ahead and call all these groups of people 'unemployed'!!

Topgub · 02/09/2022 10:25

@Vincitveritas

Yup.

At no point was I ever like the woman you posted

PeasOff · 02/09/2022 10:26

Vincitveritas · 02/09/2022 10:20

Nor do I care what you think. I haven't waded through the mud that is this thread to read your other comments.

Show quote history

So if you don't care what I think why did you make a shitty comment to me 🤣

PeasOff · 02/09/2022 10:32

pinklavenders · 02/09/2022 10:22

I'm not cherry picking anything. I have an Economics degree and have worked in that area!

But sure, go ahead and call all these groups of people 'unemployed'!!

I will. I used to consider myself unemployed when I was a SAHM so don't see why my mindset would change now I'm not.

Vincitveritas · 02/09/2022 10:32

@Topgub Then I can only assume you had a Nanny of Au Pair or heavy input from Grandparents.

@PeasOff I could ask you the same thing.

PeasOff · 02/09/2022 10:36

Vincitveritas · 02/09/2022 10:32

@Topgub Then I can only assume you had a Nanny of Au Pair or heavy input from Grandparents.

@PeasOff I could ask you the same thing.

I responded to your comment about me, not the other way around 🤦🏻‍♀️

Vincitveritas · 02/09/2022 10:41

@PeasOff Haven't you got something more productive to be doing?

mnmoaner · 02/09/2022 10:43

"The whole oh some women just clearly can't cope with it is."

??? Well lots of women are honest and freely admit they couldn't cope with being SAH with their kids all the time. They find it too intense, unstructured, boring, claustrophobic or whatever. What's controversial about that? It's fair enough. If you're not happy doing something, don't do it.

Marvellousmadness · 02/09/2022 10:47

A sahm is a full time parent
A working parent is also a full time parents, but clocks out between 8 and 6 everyday.

So it isn't the same. But also one isn't better than the other.
Most people say its easier to be a working mum than to be a stay at home mum . Because young kids are relentless. At least at work you get a break from it all

PeasOff · 02/09/2022 10:48

Vincitveritas · 02/09/2022 10:41

@PeasOff Haven't you got something more productive to be doing?

Pot, kettle!

Topgub · 02/09/2022 10:53

@Marvellousmadness

I didnt clock out between 8 - 6 every day and neither did my oh.

mnmoaner · 02/09/2022 11:01

Topgub - you may work flexi hours and so does your husband. But can you possibly imagine why this is not possible in all roles? Mind blowing though it is.

pinklavenders · 02/09/2022 11:03

* I* used to consider myself unemployed when I was a SAHM so don't see why my mindset would change now I'm not.

Perhaps because you're flexible and willing to learn?

Topgub · 02/09/2022 11:03

@mnmoaner

Yet again, I didnt say it wasn't.

TartanGirl1 · 02/09/2022 11:04

Vincitveritas · 02/09/2022 10:41

@PeasOff Haven't you got something more productive to be doing?

Do you not see the hypocrisy in your comments?

pinklavenders · 02/09/2022 11:06

I didnt clock out between 8 - 6 every day and neither did my oh.

Many jobs DO require their employees to be AT work and focusing on their work during working hours. Or they require traveling abroad.

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