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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to worry about transgender ideology being pushed on kids

309 replies

HopefulRose · 31/08/2022 09:31

Noella McHaher is a ten year old model whose parents said she “self identified” as a girl at the age of two. Her parents are also trans.

If my two year old identified as a smoker, I wouldn’t allow them cigarettes. Why is this movement so hellbent on putting children into boxes instead of letting them just grow up without defined labels?

Speaking generally, there is a link between children who “hate” their biological sex and child abuse. Children who have been SA sometimes self harm as a way of trying to prevent further abuse. I’m worried that these signs are being missed.

am I alone on this?

OP posts:
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AmyandPhilipfan · 02/09/2022 00:09

I've only been home educating a year and have come across two children who want to be the opposite sex, which is quite a high proportion of a relatively small group of kids we've come across. I'm not sure if this means it's more rife in the home educating community as a whole though as there are also a lot more children who are allowed to express themselves in a non stereotypical way, while still saying they are the correct sex. For example, about two thirds of the home educated boys I've met have long hair.

JimTheShit · 02/09/2022 00:18

TheKeatingFive · 31/08/2022 10:25

This is worth a read

pitt.substack.com/p/true-believer

Wow, that’s quite the read. Luckily the mother in this story had the ability to realise the harm she was doing to her sons. I fear that most parents who force this type of ideology on their child would merely double down than actually admit they were wrong.

LuftBalloons · 02/09/2022 09:41

I always think about Munchhausens by Proxy in these sorts of cases. I’ve heard therapists talk (in general terms) about this as well.

Helleofabore · 02/09/2022 11:51

I was watching this yesterday and I thought it was quite fitting for this thread. From about half way through I guess, it covers children and 'gender'. Both from a transitioned female having the baby and 'not' pushing a 'gender' onto the child as that is for them to work out in the future, to a mother who watched a Netflix show with a NB person and suggested to her 11 year old daughter who did not like 'girly' things that her (at the time suggested the child was still a 'she') twin sister did, that this might be why.

If you do watch this, and watch that 11 year old, notice just how distressed they are. I don't think it is just being on national TV in a programme that will be watched internationally... I suspect there is a lot more to that distress.

By the way, the man in the video thumbnail is not trans at all and discusses it. It is Christian Wilkins and he wears dresses.

BitossiBlues · 02/09/2022 12:13

LuftBalloons · 02/09/2022 09:41

I always think about Munchhausens by Proxy in these sorts of cases. I’ve heard therapists talk (in general terms) about this as well.

I was listening to a podcast the other day, and the person speaking claimed the number of MBP cases have gone down just as the number of parents (particularly mothers) affirming their GNC children's identities (and all the treatments that come with it) has risen. Wish I could remember who it was who said it. I'd be interested to know if this is actually true.

SidewaysOtter · 02/09/2022 12:20

LuftBalloons · 02/09/2022 09:41

I always think about Munchhausens by Proxy in these sorts of cases. I’ve heard therapists talk (in general terms) about this as well.

Even if it's not MBP, some parents - and I'm thinking of at least one person I know of - seem to enjoy the "being brave, different and special" plaudits that come their way for being the parent of a trans child. Not only that, but being some sort of "representative of trans people" that others can flock round to prove their TQ+ Ally credentials.

Cynical, me? Hmm

TheKeatingFive · 02/09/2022 12:27

seem to enjoy the "being brave, different and special" plaudits that come their way for being the parent of a trans child.

Quite. It's staggering that people would put the cool points ahead of children's welfare but there you have it.

Helleofabore · 02/09/2022 14:02

This is a good request from a concerned group of clinicians:

www.bmj.com/content/378/bmj.o2016/rr

Tavistock to face possible clinical negligence claims over gender identity service

Published 12 August 2022

The section I found most interesting is this:

The origin of poor governance and lack of data collection needs to be openly addressed as GIDS is not unique. Globally, there are significant difficulties in discussing, let alone challenging, the practice of gender clinics, due to the belief systems of those who adhere to gender identity theory – a non-clinical ideological perspective for which there is little to no empirical support. This position requires clinicians to believe that everyone has an innate, subjective gender identity and that individuals whose bodies do not match this should be provided with ‘gender-affirming’ medical interventions regardless of the harms and lack of evidence of benefit (6,7,8). However, a child or adolescent’s sense of gender is part of a complex inner sense of self that can change during the process of development. Medicalising young people on the basis of unsubstantiated theory is unethical: there are many reasons why they might feel dysphoria, disgust, dissociated or ‘cut off’ from their physical bodies, including internalised homophobia, histories of trauma, cognitive difficulties and mental health problems. Each person suffering from such distress requires space and time to understand their feelings.

Offering puberty blockers, cross-sex hormones and radical surgery with the implicit promise of almost magical transformation may cause, and has caused, serious harms. With inadequate follow up by GIDS, no comprehensive long-term observational studies, and no reliable clinical trial data, there is simply no evidence on which to base these interventions (2,6,7,8). It is unsurprising that ‘detransitioners’ (disillusioned people who wish to reverse the effects of ‘treatments’) are coming forward; some may want legal redress and plaintiffs’ firms are seeking them out (9). Without outcome information - let alone understanding how any pre-pubertal child could make a decision to alienate adult functions they cannot understand (like sexual pleasure) - patients and their parents were never in a position to give properly informed consent to uncontrolled experimental interventions (6) clinicians failed to properly describe. These initial cases may herald more as increasing numbers of patients, parents and clinicians question the so-called ‘affirmative model’.

We would advise that the NHS proactively set up clinical services to support detransitioners, and that the NHS Litigation Authority and Medical Defence Organisations prepare. The government should look closely at materials provided by advocacy groups (such as Stonewall, Mermaids, Gendered Intelligence, and others) that teach children and clinicians (e.g. GPs, nurses, medical students and mental health professionals) gender identity theory as if it is fact, without referencing the concerns and uncertainties in the evidence. Until this is addressed young people will be at increased risk of misinterpreting their complex difficulties as proof they are ‘trans’ and believing there are simple and medical solutions to their distress.

Well,... that is most of the letter.

Velvian · 03/09/2022 20:33

That is a well articulated letter @Helleofabore . Thank you for sharing.

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