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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Stopping to chat with a neighbour on estate, got told to be quiet and leave.

172 replies

Stardust35 · 30/08/2022 20:07

Hi, I'm not sure why I'm posting this. Just feel like I've been a really annoying neighbour accidentally.
Just been for a walk after dinner with my partner and dog. We live on a lovely estate. We were just almost back to our house and another couple walking their dog were across the road. Both dogs were wagging their tails and wanted to meet so we crossed the road and the dogs were sniffing and saying hello. We briefly chatted with the couple about their dog and were giving him a fuss etc as we'd not come across them while out walking before. We'd only stopped for a few minutes when a woman whose house we were outside, opened the window and abruptly shouted "can you be quiet I'm trying to get my baby to sleep. Can you go now please". Obviously we apologised and left straight away, but now I feel like an asshole for disturbing her. It was about 7pm and we were having a normal conversation. I understand we were outside her house. Maybe our voices were carrying more than I thought. Maybe she was just exhausted and stressed. Were we being unreasonable?

OP posts:
MarchMolasses · 30/08/2022 20:08

You haven't done anything wrong. You were in the street talking to a neighbour. Wait till her DC start having meltdowns in public. I bet she won't apologise and say sorry will she?

bellac11 · 30/08/2022 20:09

She was exhausted and stressed and once she thinks more carefully (or even posts here!!!), she'll realise she was unreasonable.

chillipenguin · 30/08/2022 20:10

Don't think anymore of it. Babies are stressful.

echobunnies · 30/08/2022 20:14

You were not unreasonable. She will probably feel very embarrassed about this in the future. But babies are stressful and many of us have acted irrationally as a result at some point or other!

Daisy4569 · 30/08/2022 20:14

You weren’t being unreasonable but having a little one I know how infuriating it is when our neighbours close their car door or a cat perches on the fence at the wrong time. Our dog barks, baby who has spent 50mins fighting sleep and nearly drifted off flings his eyes open and we begin again. I’m completely unreasonable and (silently) curse them 😂 it’s not their fault for living their lives obviously!

Pootles34 · 30/08/2022 20:16

You weren't unreasonable, but our house is on a street corner and it does get annoying! She was just fraught with her baby, think no more of it.

MissMaple82 · 30/08/2022 20:21

Tbh honest, I live near a walk way an people are always stopping outside to chat and it's annoying!

Darkstar4855 · 30/08/2022 20:23

It is annoying when people do what you did but at 7pm I’d consider it part of normal neighbourhood noise. If it was later (say, after 9pm) then I’d probably have asked you to move too.

Hankunamatata · 30/08/2022 20:24

I think not something very similar when one of mine was small 🙃. Very sleep deprived and had lost 99% of reason

Sunnyqueen · 30/08/2022 20:25

She's probably just stressed, I wouldn't over think it.

girlfrien · 30/08/2022 20:25

She had no people skills or any knowledge of how to handle a situation as alot of people don't.

She would have been much better to say in a nice way. Hi I know your having a nice chat but could you please be quieter as I'm trying to get my baby sleep.

There are ways of going about this and with her hostility she was lucky you were agreeable

StaunchMomma · 30/08/2022 20:27

Christ, how entitled of her!!

In order for a normal-noise-level street conversation to stop her baby sleeping she must have had the windows open.

You don't get to shush the street at 7pm because you want a silent breeze through the house!!

MichaelAndEagle · 30/08/2022 20:27

bellac11 · 30/08/2022 20:09

She was exhausted and stressed and once she thinks more carefully (or even posts here!!!), she'll realise she was unreasonable.

This.

VioletCharlotte · 30/08/2022 20:28

I bet she was a mumsnetter!

peasandcarrrotttss · 30/08/2022 20:29

I've been in the position where my baby won't go to sleep and every little noise disturbs them.

Hell would freeze over before I yell out of the window at people in the street.

thefirstmrsrochester · 30/08/2022 20:30

She probably made more noise by shouting at you out the window that you did by chatting on the street.

She also has no rights on who stops and chats outside on the footpath outside her house.

However we have all been there with a sleep resistant baby so I would not give it any more thought.

Had an ex friend who lettered an entire estate demanding that all kids/teenagers/dog walkers refrain from walking past their house on their side of the road after 7pm as that was when their children would be sleeping. Didn’t go down well, the DH chased some young boys coming home from scouts with a brick in his hand screeching at them to shut the fuck up or he’d do them in. He got cautioned by the police, lost his job (as a school janitor) and they moved away. Nuts.

PoseyFlump · 30/08/2022 20:31

If it was only for a few minutes she should have waited a bit longer before biting but she's probably sleep deprived and we've all been there. She'll no doubt feel shit about it later. I wouldn't dwell on it.

MrsTerryPratchett · 30/08/2022 20:31

DD didn't sleep for two years. I would have happily and cheerfully murdered anyone talking, mowing their lawn, dogs barking, anything. With a big smile on my face.

I'm saner now <twitches>

PoseyFlump · 30/08/2022 20:32

Had an ex friend who lettered an entire estate demanding that all kids/teenagers/dog walkers refrain from walking past their house on their side of the road after 7pm as that was when their children would be sleeping. Didn’t go down well, the DH chased some young boys coming home from scouts with a brick in his hand screeching at them to shut the fuck up or he’d do them in. He got cautioned by the police, lost his job (as a school janitor) and they moved away. Nuts.

Bloody hell 😂😂

RubbishRobotFromTheDawnOfTime · 30/08/2022 20:32

It’s annoying to be sitting in your house hearing a conversation outside, even though you know perfectly well they’re not doing anything wrong (technically!). It’s stressful trying to get a baby to sleep, and just having a baby in general.
Combine those and you get a woman shouting at you to be quiet.

KhaleesiDothraki · 30/08/2022 20:34

This reply has been deleted

Previously banned poster - this has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

PoseyFlump · 30/08/2022 20:35

We had neighbours who let their dogs out to bark every morning at 3am. They moved recently. I thought I was a naturally grumpy person but it's dawned on me I was just sleep deprived for years!

abblie · 30/08/2022 20:36

bellac11 · 30/08/2022 20:09

She was exhausted and stressed and once she thinks more carefully (or even posts here!!!), she'll realise she was unreasonable.

How do you know she was exhausted and stressed are you the woman that shouted 🤣

KnowtheBand · 30/08/2022 20:37

She's being ridiculous, but babies and sleep do that to you.

bloodyunicorns · 30/08/2022 20:37

You were not U! She was, massively. She doesn't own the pavement, and she doesn't have the right to tell you to move on or be quiet. What a loon.