Stopping to chat with a neighbour on estate, got told to be quiet and leave.

[Stardust35]

Hi, I'm not sure why I'm posting this. Just feel like I've been a really annoying neighbour accidentally.
Just been for a walk after dinner with my partner and dog. We live on a lovely estate. We were just almost back to our house and another couple walking their dog were across the road. Both dogs were wagging their tails and wanted to meet so we crossed the road and the dogs were sniffing and saying hello. We briefly chatted with the couple about their dog and were giving him a fuss etc as we'd not come across them while out walking before. We'd only stopped for a few minutes when a woman whose house we were outside, opened the window and abruptly shouted "can you be quiet I'm trying to get my baby to sleep. Can you go now please". Obviously we apologised and left straight away, but now I feel like an asshole for disturbing her. It was about 7pm and we were having a normal conversation. I understand we were outside her house. Maybe our voices were carrying more than I thought. Maybe she was just exhausted and stressed. Were we being unreasonable?

She was being rude.
You are perfectly entitled to chat to someone in the street. Someone people think the world revolves around them.

Mums with babies can be totally unhinged when it comes to "be quiet because my baby blah blah"

I too have been that unhinged mother.

Not a big deal. She wasn't rude, just wanted some quiet to get baby to sleep. And obviously you are not being unreasonable to chat on the street with a neighbour.

She was rude though. It's not her street! If it was 2am in the morning and they were having a pissed up brawl then she might have had a point

As parents we need to accept that life goes on as normal around us, the whole world doesn’t mute because we are getting our little ones to sleep. Unless you were speaking at the top of your voice unnecessarily then she was the one being unreasonable and quite rude.

People really need to get their babies used to general noise. Do they never boil a kettle, flush the loo, open/close a door, watch TV after 7pm?

I get that noise can be annoying, especially very late/early. I’m a shift worker and am as quiet as I can be when leaving at 5am but 7pm is totally normal to be having a chat!

I don’t think people realise how much their voices carry and in hot weather people have windows open, especially if you aren’t making much noise inside.
we live on a corner and neighbours often seem to meet outside and chat and it does seem very loud.

I'd just send off for loads of leaflets, posted to her address, on new double glazing as clearly her current windows are s**t !!!

She probably was stressed, but she was unreasonable.
Best advice I ever received from my Mum was don't insist on silence to get a baby to sleep, as it's almost impossible to achieve it.
We had the radio on in the background, used the vacuum cleaner, cooked, used the washing machine around our two from birth. They both could sleep through all but very loud noises.

Totally reasonable to feel upset and embarrassed about feeling like you’ve upset someone or done something wrong. She was BU but a baby’s sleep can prompt bonkers behaviour. Don’t worry any further about it.

Speaking as a mum who will be putting her son to bed at any point now, you are not being unreasonable. People have conversations outside, children shout, dogs bark.. He has to learn to go to sleep with outside noise because I can't control it!

My living room window is 2 metres away from the pavement. Quite often different groups congregate for a chat. It’s a bit annoying if it goes on a while. The worst are the mobile phone users. But I haven’t thought to complain ever. I might if I thought baby was being disturbed that can make you desperate. Also what you think is normal voice level can be louder than you realise especially when you are being animated towards someone you aren’t usually greeting?

Good point! Her reaction irrational because she was very stressed!

You arnt wrong, but we get it outside our house and it’s annoying people stood there having a chat loudly… but at the same time I don’t ever say anything people are allowed to be out and chatting so… yeah she was probably just stressed and tired

Yes I think it’s an important point in all of this that even “a normal” conversation can sound loud and carry. When. I was young we were often shushed when our voices inadvertently raised because of enthusiasm. You don’t really notice. I don’t think anyone’s at fault here, peace was broken without intent and it unfortunately affected a stressed person. Their response was probably from desperation so not unreasonable in that moment, you don’t always consider your words when stressed.

Same thing happened to me OP about 12 years ago, I bumped into 2 of my neighbours on the next street along from ours and we all had a chat about our newborns. Lady in the nearest house yelled out the window for us to be quiet as her baby was sleeping. We did move on.

Uwbu at all, if it was 1am then maybe yes but that time of evening is when we do things like this. I remember those days with a baby but wouldn't have dreamt of doing that, was almost tempted to when a delivery van drove up with music blaring but he wouldn't have been able to hear me anyway!

I think you were both being reasonable! We’ve moved to a spot where dog walkers congregate at the end off our drive and it often sets our dog off barking. It drives me insane but I know they’re doing nothing wrong.

On the other hand I once lost my rag with a chugger who rang my door bell when I’d just got our baby off to sleep in a really rough sleep deprived and essentially hissed ‘GO AWAY…GO NOW…QUICKLY…GET AWAY NOW’ at them…nothing to do with them particularly but they caught me at the wrong moment

This happens every day outside my house. Drives me crazy as people genuinely don’t seem to understand that people actually live in the houses and that their voices carry.

Don’t take it personally. Lack of sleep makes a person loopy.
I wanted to shoot anyone in the head who might wake my baby up 😂
She doesn’t own the street or even the bit if the street outside her house but she be too craazy from baby stress to even realise it lol

What is this thing about time? So at 11.00pm it’s bad to be noisy but at 7.00pm it’s fine? I live in a city and that’s the view of of those who want to listen to their heavy bass sound system oooo what’s the problem it’s only 9.00 pm not 3 am!!! There such a thing as social respect and neighbourliness at any hour! Not saying OP was transgressing but the time has no bearing on whether they managed to disturb the neighbour. We should always moderate our voices appropriately.

Christ almighty expecting complete silence from outside is bonkers. And told to move on cos she wants her baby to sleep. We have all had babies that won’t sleep. But never in a million years would I ask someone to move along a public footpath

7pm isn’t a problem is it ? If she’s sleep deprived she’s probably not aware she’s being unreasonable, so my advice is that while trying to be kind, don’t let her walk over you. My mum has dementia and has recently been diagnosed with terminal breast cancer. Her sleep patterns are really disturbed. The arsehole over the road insists on revving up his bloody motorbike at 7am and then keeping it ticking over for what seems like an eternity - hence mum is up and stressed, which means we’re all stressed. I’m plucking up the courage to ask him to be a bit more considerate so I feel your pain from the other side of the coin. I hope you work it out.

She needs to turn her telly up louder … babies need noise to sleep
my subsequent babies slept so well in my mad house full of noisy toddlers

She should be glad she doesn’t live on an and old terraced street. In the summer when many are sitting in their back yards sipping their drinks I can lie in bed and literally listen to conversations works perfectly. Worse if my window is open but even closed you can still hear. Unfortunately I can also hear family arguments which go on inside noises with their windows open as well. Think the terrace situation amplifies sound. Just have to get used to it.

Been there with the baby exhaustion though. My old NDN used to insist on doing her hoovering about 7pm as soon as I was doing bedtime. Could hear the hoover noise and the banging as it hit walls and furniture.

Council grass cutters scared me half to death the other week as they went under our windows at 7am in the morning!! We aren’t council properties but they own the front lawned areas.