Stopping to chat with a neighbour on estate, got told to be quiet and leave.

[Stardust35]

Hi, I'm not sure why I'm posting this. Just feel like I've been a really annoying neighbour accidentally.
Just been for a walk after dinner with my partner and dog. We live on a lovely estate. We were just almost back to our house and another couple walking their dog were across the road. Both dogs were wagging their tails and wanted to meet so we crossed the road and the dogs were sniffing and saying hello. We briefly chatted with the couple about their dog and were giving him a fuss etc as we'd not come across them while out walking before. We'd only stopped for a few minutes when a woman whose house we were outside, opened the window and abruptly shouted "can you be quiet I'm trying to get my baby to sleep. Can you go now please". Obviously we apologised and left straight away, but now I feel like an asshole for disturbing her. It was about 7pm and we were having a normal conversation. I understand we were outside her house. Maybe our voices were carrying more than I thought. Maybe she was just exhausted and stressed. Were we being unreasonable?

YANBU - the world doesn’t stop because you have a baby . Don’t overthink it . And please don't stop being friendly to others in fear of upsetting someone inside a house .

One day in the future she’s going to wake up in the middle of the night and won’t be able to sleep for thinking about what a tit she was.

I've (politely) asked kids playing football in the early evening to move along before now, because it was keeping my baby awake. They were completely fine about it. I don't know why you are overthinking this; she may have been a bit snappy but your voices (4 adults right outside her window) probably did carry a bit on a still evening.

I’m honestly surprised that people hate hearing conversations outside so much. I LOVE eavesdropping 😂

I Don’t think you were unreasonable but it is really annoying when you’re trying to do bedtime and someone makes a noise and it’s game over! I think aswell you forget when you’ve got grown up kids that 7pm is bedtime for little ones.. it’s the equivalent of 11pm or midnight for them! X

Babies have to learn to sleep through noise. It is completely unreasonable to expect the world just to stop for them.

This sounds like a reverse. Person in conversation not unreasonable, mother unreasonable but probably under a lot of stress/exhaustion.

Lack of sleep with a baby can make you very irrational. She was probably just st the end of her tether. She will probably be embarrassed when she comes out of the fog!

If an elderly person had done this she'd have been dismissed on here as rude, cranky, needs to mind her own business etc and OP would have been advised to stand outside her house every night playing the trumpet.

You’re not being unreasonable but I’m currently on 4 months of not having slept for more than 3 hours in a row and it’s hell, so while she’s totally being unreasonable I get it. I hate my life right now and DCs sleep is essentially the only thing I give a shit about. I’m sorry she was rude but I promise you she’s going through fucking shit so if you can find it in yourself to forgive her please do

I will be honest. I work from home and would prefer to have the windows open as it's been so fecking hot; but some of my neighbours have long (inane) phone calls and discussions that carry into my living room. It is annoying but then the open plan office always totally got on my nerves too. So YABU from me.

Fucking hell

The rational part of me says yanbu but I had a very similar experience recently.

Neighbours who live across the road stopped right outside our house with their dog to chat to another dog walker. I was annoyed because they could easily have stopped outside their own house but instead they chose mine. If it had just been a conversation I wouldn't have minded but their dogs were each barking at each other really loudly and they were then shouting at the dogs to stop barking.
I had just got the baby to sleep and did go outside and very politely asked them if they could move up a bit as the baby was sleeping.

Do people not realise you don't own the bit outside your house its a public street/ road and at 7pm people talking is not unreasonable

As I see it, you have several options
a) never speak to anyone in the street anywhere, ever again, just in case there happens to be somebody inside, who is going to react in some way (not recommended)
b) ignore it, forget about it, never think about it again (perfectly acceptable)
c) give her the benefit of the doubt, and make an effort to befriend her. She might be really struggling and appreciate a friendly face, or even just a small bunch of flowers with a note hoping that she and her baby are ok, and apologising for disturbing them. (But then I have a habit of apologising for things that are not my fault, and ending up with people making slightly ridiculous demands on me 😂)

No she's being ridiculous. Babies need to get used to background noise or they will never settle themselves. I laughed when my ex's daughter my children's half sister asked if she could flush the toilet while baby sister was asleep. I used to hoover when my babies slept.

Your fine! It’s amazing what you do when stressed/tired. I have had many a violent fantasy about my annoying neighbours as they stand chatting at the door at 11pm. I do fear one day I am going to shout from the window one night and tell them to shut it

Wow, Crabby McCrabbington or what?! Kudos to you for moving on, but you did NOTHING wrong. Sounds like she is having a hard time.

Don't worry about it.

If I opened my.window and yelled at anyone disturbing me .. well, I may as well.move my chair out the front and just tell and shake my walking stick.

Op don't stress it. Your neighbour is likely mortified at themselves.

Pop round tomorrow and apologize and ask if she's ok.

I don’t think any of you were being unreasonable. There isn’t a villain in every situation, sometimes people are just living their lives, trying their best, struggling etc. It’s not a requirement to pin point fault all the time, just shrug and move on.

I don't believe you think you were being unreasonable, having a quick chat at 7pm even if your voices did carry.

I live on the corner of a street and it seems to be the meeting place for everyone to stop and chat.

Yes it can be very annoying at times but she was out of order to say anything, let alone say it with attitude.

Pop round tomorrow and apologize and ask if she's ok.

What the fuck?!

Absolutely do not do this OP.

You've done nothing wrong at all and she should know this (and hopefully she will think about her behaviour).

My neighbour used to have people round during covid and chat to them on her drive.

It was infuriating. It actually felt like they were on my doorstep, chatting.

It was so loud and intrusive.

I would never converse outside someone's house and I know how the noise travels.

We've actually moved now thank fuck.

Of course YANBU, but let's face it, many a parent with a small baby has been sleep deprived and irrational. Unless you know she does it every time anyone stops outside her house to chat, I would put it down to sleep deprivation craziness.

Ok, not all of us have told people standing outside our house to shush, but find me a parent of a small child who's not cried / grumped or been irrationally irate about something when all you want is a baby to go the fuck to sleep so you can sleep for a few hours.

My boyfriend did this to a group of kids the other week when in the exact same situation and I was mortified, and I also think he secretly was afterwards.

You did nothing wrong and she was probably just in the moment absolutely stressed af with her baby and you were an easy target.