Stopping to chat with a neighbour on estate, got told to be quiet and leave.

[Stardust35]

Hi, I'm not sure why I'm posting this. Just feel like I've been a really annoying neighbour accidentally.
Just been for a walk after dinner with my partner and dog. We live on a lovely estate. We were just almost back to our house and another couple walking their dog were across the road. Both dogs were wagging their tails and wanted to meet so we crossed the road and the dogs were sniffing and saying hello. We briefly chatted with the couple about their dog and were giving him a fuss etc as we'd not come across them while out walking before. We'd only stopped for a few minutes when a woman whose house we were outside, opened the window and abruptly shouted "can you be quiet I'm trying to get my baby to sleep. Can you go now please". Obviously we apologised and left straight away, but now I feel like an asshole for disturbing her. It was about 7pm and we were having a normal conversation. I understand we were outside her house. Maybe our voices were carrying more than I thought. Maybe she was just exhausted and stressed. Were we being unreasonable?

The amount of times I've fought back the urge to tell people outside my window to sod off so I can get the baby to sleep, is huge. But I've never done it because it would have been unreasonable. I do feel for the woman because I've been there and it's incredibly stressful in the moment. But, no, you've done nothing wrong and I bet she feels like a right tool. Don't give it another thought.

Babies have to get used to noise otherwise everyone would stop and nothing would be done.
I am a shift worker and can sleep through anything including the kids screaming outside in the street, why should everyone adjust what they are doing because I'm sleeping? Next time tell her to piss off, she's rude to you be rude back

You weren't doing anything wrong really and she could have been a bit less snappy and just asked if you wouldn't mind moving.

Babies can be so stressful if they are poor sleepers. I remember yelling and swearing at a low flying helicopter when I was out trying to get mine to sleep in the pram when he was a baby! Totally ridiculous and pointless but I was at the end of my tether!

Streets are called "public realm" for a reason. If she wants silence, then she needs triple glazing or to move to a detached house in the countryside.

This.
I think I would have been more in her camp, but by dc 3 I had 2 older children and pets rampaging whilst trying to get her to sleep. And she was the worst of the 3 of them…

It’s hard, I had 2/3 bad sleepers, so I sympathise but you cannot expect the world to stop because you had a baby. She could have ranted to friends and family, but entitled to ask you to move on.

As other wise posters have said, she will have been cranky and sleep deprived, totally her not you. Think no more about it.

Well don't think I would of been quite so polite

It is a public right of way and before 23:00 so you and your nieghbour were well within your rights to have a conversation and 'stand your ground with her'

Where I live, no one would dare speak to nieghbours like she spoke to you, for fear of eggs and bricks flying at their windows. Maybe one day she'll pith off the wrong person!

Don't be feeling guilty, you have done nothing wrong.

You obviously weren’t being unreasonable to chat on the street but she’s probably at the end of her tether from sleep deprivation. There’s a reason it’s used as torture.

People also really need to get babies used to going to sleep with sounds etc , the world won't be quiet why your baby sleeps , mine slept through a lots but we never insisted on silence , i hoovered etc as when number 2 comes along number 1 doesn't always do silence

And you didn't say anything?
My neighbours dog was barking for an hour at 3am the other day, I said something later that day!

My eldest used to break windows with his head if people sat in their cars outside our house. Non-verbal & autistic - we worked on teaching him that he didn’t control the street (& installed stronger windows).

So however sleep deprived she is she is being completely unreasonable. You are allowed to walk and talk on your street at 7pm.

Ywnbu by the way op, but cut her some slack could be her PFB

I agree with this too.

If your baby only sleeps with silence, you need to keep your windows closed and probably get them used to white noise or something.

If she was sleep deprived - I understand her frustration in terms of you begin to lose your grip on reality once sleep deprived.

But from your perspective, don't give it another thought. You vlearly weren't doing anything wrong.

We have a street full of kids. My DC included and they have a whale of a time in the summer playing out the front and in each others gardens. The woman needs to get a grip

She was a knob.

I didn't sleep for years, but it would never have crossed my mind to tell people not to grind angles/ let their dogs bark/ cut the grass/ laugh/ jet wash their patio/ play out after 7, just cos I was trying to get my baby to sleep.

Mind you, the two things guaranteed to wake mine were a single floorboard creaking, or a misjudged meow.

Yeah and this. My youngest sleeps through the most ridiculous noise levels. I hoovered with my eldest as well. Much better to train babies to
sleep with normal noise levels rather than needing silence

Yup, exactly.
My accross the road neighbours had a driveway put in and had kerb lowered my partner asked if I heard anything as he said it was noisy , not a thing I was sound asleep and my bedroom window was open and right accross from their front garden. That's how we learn to sleep through noise it starts at newborn age.

Bloomin heck you'd get told to fuck off round my way for demanding silence outside

God I'd love to build a time machine and give baby DD to all the people who think DC can always be 'trained' for noise. They can't. Believe me.

You were not at all being unreasonable, and actually sound lovely and extremely considerate.
Don't give precious firstborn mum a second thought!

Where I grew up loads of kids around playing one woman would shout out for us to be quiet as her baby didn’t like noise!! It would be from after school till around 5. IAfter a while we just ignored her - some people are self entitled

Why did you leave?

You’re enabling a weirdo.

You shouldn’t enable weirdos. Encourages them.

I wouldn't worry about it. You weren't unreasonable and you all apologised and left when she asked. It probably was a combination of odd acoustics from the spot you were standing in and the mother being stressed (could have been a "last straw" kind of thing) and perhaps not realising how abrupt she sounded.

As it was easy enough for you to move to a different spot and it probably made a big difference to her, I'd say no harm done and try to forget about it.

Regardless it's not the neighbours problem