Stopping to chat with a neighbour on estate, got told to be quiet and leave.

[Stardust35]

Hi, I'm not sure why I'm posting this. Just feel like I've been a really annoying neighbour accidentally.
Just been for a walk after dinner with my partner and dog. We live on a lovely estate. We were just almost back to our house and another couple walking their dog were across the road. Both dogs were wagging their tails and wanted to meet so we crossed the road and the dogs were sniffing and saying hello. We briefly chatted with the couple about their dog and were giving him a fuss etc as we'd not come across them while out walking before. We'd only stopped for a few minutes when a woman whose house we were outside, opened the window and abruptly shouted "can you be quiet I'm trying to get my baby to sleep. Can you go now please". Obviously we apologised and left straight away, but now I feel like an asshole for disturbing her. It was about 7pm and we were having a normal conversation. I understand we were outside her house. Maybe our voices were carrying more than I thought. Maybe she was just exhausted and stressed. Were we being unreasonable?

The mum was probably exhausted and at the end of her tether, cut her a bit of slack!

I live in a mews and people talking ,mostly loudly as people don’t seem to know how to talk normally round here , drives me nuts
i tell them to shut up all the time

am I having deja vu or was this also posted about two weeks ago?

This!!

It's unrealistic to expect every noise to cease because there is a baby in the house. My view is that tip-toeing around babies is actually counter-productive and makes them far more sensitive to ordinary sounds. I don't think you should feel embarrassed about it as you were just having a normal conversation.

I actually agree. I actually put my children’s washing away in the wardrobes and drawers often when they’re in bed and have done since they were small. They need to get had to noise and seem to have no bother falling asleep in the daytime when the tv is on or in their buggy in a noisy shopping centre.

She was an entitled idiot and you had no need to apologise to her.

Babies have to learn to live (and sleep) in the real world, with real world life and sounds going on around them. The real world is not silent, and they have to get used to that.

She was BU. You weren't doing anything wrong. However as the sleep deprived mum who's neighbors love to stop right outside my house for very loud conversations I've seen myself on many occasions resisting the irrational urge to tell them to eff off and talk loudly in their own driveways. So noone is really unreasonable. Trying to get babies to sleep turns us all into crazy people.

Stresses you out too? Do you have many people stop and have a conversation outside of your house?

No ynbu at all xx same thing happened here recently, my fella ended up shouting “what’s going on?” but it was 4am, they had a bunch of dogs barking really loudly and were almost shouting at each other, over the dog noise. All of them stood at the end of our drive, almost under the bedroom window. They then stormed off saying “charming!” , and “how rude” ahaha some people aye, after being rent a gob for half an hour lol
so basically no ynbu, you sound like a lovely person who cares about their neighbours or I don’t think you would even care xx and I bet you’re right, probably just a bad moment for her or something xx

i agree she is being unreasonable. My 3 were bought up living above pubs and can sleep through anything. We also never did the pitch dark thing or the only sleeping in their own special bed thing. I have family who made such a ritual of bedtime that their children couldn’t do sleepovers or stay at grandparents until they were quite old because of the whole special bedtime thing.

I’m sorry but in a quiet close and if her kids are like mine and don’t sleep I would do the same. Obviously it’s not your fault as u didn’t know but the poor woman was probably super stressed! Go round and ask how she is dying the day!

She probably needs some sleep herself, i wouldn't think any more of it. I got to the point where i would shhh strangers in the street while i was out with mine and finally got them to sleep, wasn't pfb either 😳

She is stressed. Take her a bunch of flowers tomorrow and dance on the higher ground.

And yet in seven years time that baby and it's pals will probably be spending all summer shrieking in the street, if my estate is anything to go on.

I can understand her frustration. People can often talk very loudly when chatting and not realise how loud they’re being. As someone who suffers from migraines and will need to have a lie down with them, people yapping at the top of their voice outside your window can be annoying!

There will always be some noise or another in a street that can and will disturb people in some way.

And it wasn’t done to purposefully annoy her. Sometimes we just don’t know how our voices carry.

She was quite rude though. She could’ve asked you perfectly politely if you’d mind keeping your voices down a bit. As others have said, maybe her aggressive tone was due to sleep deprivation etc from having a baby.

If I could live in the countryside with no neighbours and peace and quiet then I would believe me! But I can’t afford to. So I just have to suck up general street/suburban noise and minimise the impact on myself where I can. I expect people to be considerate, but I don’t expect them to tiptoe around on eggshells for my benefit.

I imagine she has a baby that is incredibly difficult to get to sleep. She's was probably already at the end of her tether and people chatting outside was the last straw. Don't take it personally, just try not talk outside her house at bedtime. I remember taking 2-3 hours to get my son to sleep and shortly after my drunk inlaws crashed up the stairs and woke him and the whole process had to start again. I could have killed them. So you probably just caught her at a bad time.

I live on a fairly busy street with people walking past making noise a lot. Some of it very late at night. It is so annoying and usually coincides with a crucial part of the TV program I’m watching and I miss what they said! But I still wouldn’t dream of asking people to be quiet in a public place. I do remember what it’s like to have a sleeping baby and the anger at the Amazon man ringing the doorbell and banging at the door at the same time! You don’t realise how blooming loud the world is until you have a baby. I wouldn’t dwell on it. She probably feels like a d**k now

This. Sleep deprivation makes people crazy 😂 She'll probably feel bad about it now. Don't let it get to you

Dogs can get really noisy and it is annoying when they start yapping and barking When people let the dogs meet, they do it outside my house every morning however unfortunately I can’t control what is outside of my window so I don’t tell people to shut up Because I don’t own the street.
In saying that maybe she has had enough of it and people doing that , Don’t worry about it it’s not like you’re done it on purpose and you are on a public footpath I doubt she’s sitting there worrying about it either just get on with your evening

You did nothing wrong don’t worry …in a way I’m impressed with her as she actually said something, I often have people stop & talk/cars with radios on outside my house & it drives me nuts as can hear them all clearly in my bedroom while trying to get my DS to sleep, it’s just one of those things though

She’s just exhausted and stressed I think.

You weren’t doing anything wrong but equally it’s a difficult time when you have a baby, especially when they won’t go to sleep or things keep disturbing them. Maybe also various different people stop and talk there frequently and it’s just got on top of her.

I wouldn’t give it any more thought!