To think that home schooling is a bit cult like?

[WobblyWellies]

This is purely anecdotal but based on a group of friends who are all home schooling now, it makes me feel like there is a cult like element to it. There's definitely a click amongst the mums. One of my friends in the group has changed quite a bit since she started home schooling. She's almost become a bit militant about the whole thing. She often posts things on social media about how terrible schools are for children and how home schooling is much better. I feel like she's stirring things up. I am in fact a teacher but I don't push school on people I meet or social media, it's totally individual choice how you want your child educated. I'm not sure if my friend is out to convert people.

However, I do see homeschooling as a privilege to a certain extent because it relies on a parent not working (or part time) and is self funded for the majority. My friend has a house with acres of land and woods, she does loads of outdoor learning with her kids which is great but I wouldn't say it's the norm to have that.

So this group of friends are very clicky over homeschooling and it feels like a them and us scenario now.

Aibu to say it's like a cult for some people?

My job is much easier than secondary school ever was. That’s true for many, many people I would think. I did really well at school but hated being cold, being constantly told what to do and the constant noise.
I do a job I mostly enjoy. I realise that’s a privilege but it’s also true for many people. Finding work easier than school I’d guess is more common for neurodiverse people who may have particular skills and interests, as well as particular challenges. Working life does allow you to play to your strengths.

I completely agree. I really like grammar (weirdly) but I generally never correct it in real life. I was making a point because the person I was relying to was saying that the spelling was important, and then made an error.

It’s like when people say the whole “umm you’re a teacher and you can’t spell XYZ???” thing. It’s obnoxious.

Anyway, not the focus of the thread!

Just like any other part of life cliques can form in home ed. You also find cliques at the school gates or inside classrooms, people are drawn to others similar to themselves.

Again like anything else you will have people who are evangelical about home educating in the same way some on here insist school is the only correct way to educate a child. Most people are somewhere in the middle and can acknowledge that there can be benefits to both.

That's exactly what I'm planning for my new year 1 class 😂

Yes sorry - I possibly should have quoted the previously quoted post. Your correction made me smile!

I am a poorly educated berk who wasn't taught grammar at all, and actually appreciate being corrected. But I do expect a teacher to be able to use the basic right word for something they are discussing.

Go for it! We got cult in yr 1 to do with bonfire night and a confused child.
I wasn't actually having a go at you, more the idea that it can matter when delivering lessons.
Our year 1 teacher got "I been" and "I seen" and cafe pronounced as caf, firmly into ASD child's vocabulary.

But I don't like how 'them and us' it seems to now be with my friend. It's just strange that since she's started homeschooling, she's just changed, friendship wise.
@WobblyWellies

I suspect your friend is fairly new to home-ed?

Most of us go through a bit of an evangelical period after having made the decision/deregistered (and I agree it is like a sort of self-affirming thing - and it's worse if there's been an issue at the school or some sort of confrontation/challenge with family/friends)
Most of us get over that bit or at least it calms down a lot!

The reality is neither is better, they are just different. However because school is the "norm" and people who don't home-educate view everyone as either hippies, militants, anarchists, religious fundamentalists or political extremists (and to be honest, some of them are - but then, those people exist in the school-going population, too), there's an uphill battle against misconceptions - as clearly demonstrated by some of the posters on this thread.

Most home-educators are fairly normal, but understandably some might be very angry about "the system" if they've spent years trying to get help for their child without result.

Sympathies! It took ages to get rid of Haitch!

www.nheri.org/research-facts-on-homeschooling/

Hopefully home schoolers will teach their kids how to spell 'clique', as clearly they're not going to learn it from a teacher.

Other activities exist for socialisation, my DD frequently goes to play groups etc and when she's a bit older, she will definitely have clubs she's interested that she'll attend. I'm not going to keep up locked up indoors!

That's a very ignorant viewpoint which comes from a very closed minded individual

Yes definitely weirdos. Why would you segregate your kids from others their own age you can't hide from the real world

The thing is OP, even of YOU are supportive, the general consensus seems to be "there must be something wrong", which is why people get defensive and look for self affirmation.

The intent behind your thread seems to be mostly the change in your friendship dynamic and sadness at what feels like you're "losing" her. Which is perfectly valid and does need exploring, but not necessarily in the context of home education.

FFS, I give up. Fighting a losing battle.

I home educate mine and this came about in a large part because it was the choice of my eldest DC. Having always struggled with mainstream school and dyslexia and was being assessed for ASD and ADD when Covid hit we realised just how much she had been falling through the gaps so to speak despite trying so hard to work with school to get extra help. She begged to be permanently Home Educated and when we did her anxiety and nightmares stopped. I was able to see exactly where she struggled and play to her strengths in learning, rather than just say oh well she can't do it. She has developed a lot more confidence and her progress is steady and more importantly she has begun to enjoy learning rather than dread it. It has also given her more confidence socially because she doesn't feel everyone is laughing at her or judging her at being "rubbish" in her words.

My youngest is also dyslexic and reading is slow although she's actually working well ahead in all other areas but by Home Educating she hasn't had to go through the humiliation and anxiety her big sister did because she was slow to master reading and we can practice it in ways that interest her rather than put her off.

No I'm not vegetarian

YANBU

Ive had to HE two of my dc. I’ve struggled horrendously with it. It was a last resort.

The HE community was not kind to me at all I joined the local and wider fb groups and got criticised and also accused of making things harder for other home educators (because I submitted examples of work to the LA but this was because when I had de registered my older dc a few years prior the school reported us to SS and we had to have a CP investigation which was traumatic- it was a malicious referral and luckily SS and EHE department agreed and tore the school a new one and closed the case)

with my younger dc we had to de reg and it is not the ideal we are making the best of it but we are so isolated as we aren’t doing what most home educators do and it is just awful

I think maybe she has found her tribe? Maybe she has more in common with them at the moment so is relying on them as her support system.

I agree with you wholeheartedly that school is about more than an education but parents are allowed to make the decisions based on what works for their family. It's understandable that when she sprouts negativity about traditional schooling you would get annoyed.

@Objectionhearsayspeculation you're a brilliant mum for recognising this and doing what's best for your daughters. This is a perfect example of how mainstream eduction is not a one size fits all. There are many children that will not have their needs best or worse, will suffer greatly.

I think home-edders and parents who send their kids to school can be equally as judgy. I've only read the first page of this thread and it's full of judgemental comments about home ed.

I considered home ed for DD but decided against it, mainly because of the socialisation aspect. I'm still a member of some home ed FB groups and I do eyeroll at some of the comments ie proudly calling their kids "the ferals" and scoffing at how schooled kids are like obedient robots who sit still and don't touch things when they're told to.

However I have to agree with the PP who pointed out that if anything it's schools that are cult-like in that the kids have to wear uniform and ask permission to even use the toilet. It's not even as if it's generally representative of adult life - I don't have to call my boss Sir and ask his permission to pee.

I think there are pros and cons to both mainstream school and home ed and I can see why parents who home ed become defensive given most people's attitude to their lifestyle choice.

People tend to want to think they are making the right choice and want others to agree with them so it’s not enough to just homeschool or main stream school you have to blacken the name of other choices 😁

Charming 🙄

We had to HE as well due to ASD. The only thing I don’t feel guilty about is socialising as that was the worst aspect of it for the 2 dc I’ve HE- so for them to have no pressure to socialise it has made them much happier.

My approach to HE is not agreed with though because We have a timetable and I’ve been told I’m trying to replicate school which is wrong, that I should refuse to show the LA examples of work but when you have ptsd from a CP investigation you want to prove you’re doing things properly and to show an appropriate education but I got told of I do it the LA will expect ot and pressure those who are unschooling / de schooling and won’t have actual physical examples of work to send in etc.