To think that home schooling is a bit cult like?

[WobblyWellies]

This is purely anecdotal but based on a group of friends who are all home schooling now, it makes me feel like there is a cult like element to it. There's definitely a click amongst the mums. One of my friends in the group has changed quite a bit since she started home schooling. She's almost become a bit militant about the whole thing. She often posts things on social media about how terrible schools are for children and how home schooling is much better. I feel like she's stirring things up. I am in fact a teacher but I don't push school on people I meet or social media, it's totally individual choice how you want your child educated. I'm not sure if my friend is out to convert people.

However, I do see homeschooling as a privilege to a certain extent because it relies on a parent not working (or part time) and is self funded for the majority. My friend has a house with acres of land and woods, she does loads of outdoor learning with her kids which is great but I wouldn't say it's the norm to have that.

So this group of friends are very clicky over homeschooling and it feels like a them and us scenario now.

Aibu to say it's like a cult for some people?

It works for some but bloody hell...i admire people who can put all that energy into teaching their own kids. My dd would go bonkers...as would I.

It's like veganism. Home schooling isn't the 'norm' but those who do it can't understand why you don't understand the impact you're having on your children by not doing and want to get their message out their to show you that they are right. And they are for them, I have no issue with it if it's right for your family, but whilst respecting your choices I'd appreciate it if they respected mine too.

School allows for emotional development, feeling connected to a peer group, forming friendships, negotiating their way through conflicts, having a whole world of their own independent from home and learning to cooperate with others. That’s valuable

Home ed teens do exactly this, just not in school! It's not school 'allowing' it - it's just where it happens for kids in school. Kids out of school do the same thing - they have a big group of friends (inc. diversity!) and they're not shackled to the dining room table!

There's a huge gulf between the home ed families I know and the comments here!

It's weird as fuck & the parents who do it ste totally co-dependent

I knew a mum a couple of years ago who home schooled her daughter because she said she got bullied.The girl used to go to the same dance school as my daughter and was the same age.
I always thought it strange that she did dance classes and gymnastic classes mixing with lots of kids but she was home schooled.

I met her husband one evening after dance class as he came with her to pick up their daughter and I always thought he seemed a bit controlling well that was my opinion but I could of been wrong.

Anyway, I never really saw them much after that as my daughter went to secondary school.

’they have a big group of friends’

I’m sure they do have friends. Part of the school experience is getting along with all those who aren’t friends, that they might not like but still might have to work with.

I’m sure they do have friends. Part of the school experience is getting along with all those who aren’t friends, that they might not like but still might have to work with

I'm not sure that kids growing into teens, with the all the stuff they do could avoid this. They have to negotiate this kind of thing the whole time. They go to drama groups, cadets, rangers, language groups, etc. - all mixed home ed/school kids. They go on camping trips, water sports team stuff, recording weekends (they're in a band), all kinds of stuff. They have freedom to take up work experience places when they present - one has just spent two weeks doing an amazing placement off shore. Not friends, real world.

They have no 'them and us' attitude - that really stands out for me - they're happy kids.

I can see the advantage for primary school kids. They'll get a lot more share of mind, personal tuition and 1-2-1 attention.

I lived in Provence until my early teens so I taught my kids to speak French which made them pretty much fluent by the time they went to big school.

Exactly! This is what seems so obvious to me! You're children are just going to be mixing with a very similar like minded group of other children, and adults. Nothing like reality of later life. Such a limited preparation. Also such a small pool.

Even doing those things it's still a small pool of like minded kids; hobbies and special interest.

There isn’t adequate school provision for my ASD dcs so we have to home Ed out of necessity. Many SEN children are home Ed for this reason.

There was a chap in DD's university classes who had been homeschooled and he could never settle into lectures and the like because he didn't have to sit for any periods of time at home, just get up and basically do what he wanted to do.

He ended dropping out of Uni quite early.

And I can think of a couple of mothers home schooling who really shouldn't be allowed to...

So I'm not always convinced it's in the Child's best interest unless distance is an issue and then I don't think boarding school for little ones is great either.

We all have to rub along together at some point and main schools have this environment to begin with. Social skills are very important and this generally can't be taught at home because you know everyone there and are treated very differently.

But yes, the home schooling parents I have met and known generally remain aloof from the general community/people.

I worked for 30 years in a public (state) school and educated my three children in private (religious) schools. I have met and interacted with many home-schooling parents and can say this with some assurance.

1. There are parents who want their children to believe only what they believe and not be exposed to different ideas.
2. There are parents who don't want the bother of getting up and getting their children to school at a certain time every day.
3. There are parents who are anti-vaxxers and won't comply with state laws.
4. There are parents who are paranoid or highly anxious who are convinced that their children are in physical danger if they are out of sight.
5. There are very few parents who have the intelligence, the commitment and the ability to teach children properly. Those who do realize that the

purpose of school is also socialization and teaching children that they do not always have power of choice, and must conform to other timetables.

I find it quite astonishing that you're presenting some of these statements as facts. Do you have links to the sources? It seems to me that it's from the algorithms that gives you info based onyour search history/ beliefs, regardless of facts.

Great job with your daughter's aademics , honestly. I believe school is so much more than academics. Nothing can replace being with roughly the same kids for 5/6 years, 8h a day, 5 days a week. Socially organising themselves, disputes, reconciliation. Almost like a microcosm of society.

I wonder if there's any (robust) research on home Ed kids' reintroduction into society/ how they get on in groups for an extended period?

I'm a teacher.
In theory, I love the idea of HE, and definitely see the appeal in crafting my own curriculum tailored to my DCs' needs. In reality, there is no way we could afford to lose my income.
I'm in a position where I'm thinking I may need to HE DD1 in the future if SEN provision isn't up to scratch and she continues to struggle. Really, it would be about removing her from a harmful situation as opposed to 'choosing' HE for her; HE would be likely to bring it's own challenges for both of us because of the nature of her SEN.
I absolutely echo PPs who highlight how attending school ensures mixing with children from a variety of backgrounds, day in, day out, in a range of contexts. There is no way I could replicate this kind of consistent experience of diversity and this is enough for me to feel that, for as long as both DC cope in mainstream, that's where they'll stay. This is the absolute gold of mainstream education.

Homeschooling done well requires intense focus and commitment. Researching the best curriculum for your child, planning lessons, adapting because the goal is always to make sure the child learns. Plus networking with other families to provide social opportunities.

I just spent the last year fairly intensely tutoring math because my dc’s school teacher just wasn’t connecting with her at all. Even that was a huge commitment. Some days I would spend an hour before we had a session just figuring out the best way to explain a concept that would work for that way she thinks.

given the level of effort, it’s easy to see how quickly people can be sucked in. If you are spending all day, every day homeschooling, you better be a believer.

It's just my experience of course, but Iv'e taught many homeschooled students in post-16 education and they've all struggled massively to integrate at college. Doesn't mean I don't sympathise with why the parents chose the homeschooling route, I'm not a particular fan of our education system!

To be honest, schools are very cult like also. The government choose the curriculum hence dictate what the children are taught. The children all have to wear the same uniform, sit in rows in assembly etc while listening to a leader. They have to conform to regular tests, as do their leaders and their leaders (teachers, heads etc) to satisfy OFSTEAD or OFSTED (sorry, not from the uk so can’t remember which it is). I honestly believe more poster should be given to the school heads and the teachers rather than having to conform to ofstead’s ever increasing demands. I cannot fathom how much work teachers in England have to do, so much admin, so little teaching. You’re truly so amazing those of you who do.

I suppose some parents prefer to have a choice over what their children learn and how they’re educated. It must be difficult to do as a parent with no pedagogical knowledge. I know I couldn’t do it. Plus I love a break from my children on a purely selfish level.

I think because here (Aus) home schooling and distance Ed is so common, I don’t have the cult like view towards home schooled children and their families. I personally do not think I could home school my own children, I would feel I was doing them an injustice. I don’t know if that is because I was brought up where education education education was instilled into me, or because it’s my norm or something else. I personally thrive on measurements and measuring progress. But I know homeschooling and even un-schooling you just cannot do this in the same way as in schools. Is it right or wrong? I dunno!

Each to their own. I think whenever someone does something that’s not the norm or mainstream, they’re always seen as a bit of a rebel or a cult.

I have to say though, I know 19 children in total who were home schooled and have grown up (both in Aus and UK) and they’re all very adaptable, confident and competent adults holding down great jobs and seem happy, so kudos to their parents.

Power, not poster!

Sorry if I made no sense, had an operation this morning and the pain meds have sent me loops!

From my experience there’s sort of 2 types of home schooler, parents who homeschool through necessity (usually SEN and no decent local provision in place), and then the hippy types who ‘don’t believe in schools’ and don’t want to ‘stifle their kids’ creativity’. In most cases it seems to be part of a wider belief system - anti-vax, anti-medicine etc. I’ve known a couple of home schoolers who seemingly just don’t want their kids to grow up and do anything independent without them.

Exactly my view!!!!

I couldn't do a good job homeschooling , but very certain homeschooled children can get a better education than at school. I just know personally I'd fail my kids trying to educate them, we need school and other kids etc, But one of my friends is starting her homeschooling journey and I have no doubt she will do an amazing job! It's just not for everyone. And if you have to work you done have the time to homeschool

Firstly , I am in London and my daughter is going into year 8 in her secondary school in September and she can’t wait .

But I remember her last year of primary school ( year 6) and it was basically non existent due to Covid Lock down were all schools were closed here in the UK and they went onto online learning. My daughter signed into online classes everyday as she had a laptop but many children didn’t have one so they missed out not only on education but also on interaction with their school friends as they were not allowed to socialise due to Covid Restrictions.

My daughter wanted to do her online lessons in her pyjamas sitting in her bed as she thought she had nothing to get up and dressed for but she soon learned that was not acceptable when I took her phone and laptop off her.

So in my opinion Home Schooling is a No No and having millions in the bank doesn’t make it any better.

It's funny, I think that years ago it was a very counter culture thing to do and now it see

I don’t think home Ed is bad as long as the children are receding an education. There are home Ed schools with online learning which I think are proving to be popular - especially so for those children who’ve been bullied or have ASD and struggle with so much social interaction.

The downside of home Ed is safeguarding. It is so much more difficult for the appropriate bodies to identify abuse and neglect and therefore act appropriately.